(Closed) My fiance won’t dance!!

posted 10 years ago in Music
Post # 3
Member
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

A few questions first: Does he have a close relationship with his dad? Are his parents still married? Did his parents have a first dance? Here is my reasoning: I really want to do a "first look" on the wedding day. He wasn’t sure about it until he talked to his dad who thought it was a great idea. Now he’s 99% sold on it, and all it took was his dad! I didn’t even TALK to his dad about it. If the dad thing doesn’t work, does he have a brother or close guy friend you can confide in and have them talk to him about it? I think sometimes guys need to hear certain things from other guys. If none of this works, you just need to be honest about your feelings with him. Tell him it’s something you’ve always seen yourself doing and it would mean so much if he did it. Pick a short song or a snippit of a song. Is he worried about dancing in front of others? Maybe halfway through the song invite other married couples/the bridal party/etc to join you. At least that might cover the first dance problem.

As for the rest of the night, I say just have fun with your friends/family. Split your time between the dance floor and your new husband. And hey, you could always get him good and liquored up! Or cry…that might work too Good luck, I hope you can find some middle ground. 

Post # 5
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

he won’t even do the "lean and sway" that we all did at middle school dances?

My guy won’t dance, either, but he has agreed to the first dance.  And I agree with EAQ–when all else fails, get some liquor in him! 😉

Post # 6
Member
473 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Dude. I feel your pain. Boyfriend refuses to dance too, no matter the amount of drink in him. Finally last summer at a friends wedding, I danced with someone else (college friend who could swing dance) and Boyfriend was jealous. He danced with me then!

 Obviously, a jealousy situation won’t work on your wedding day. I’ve thought about mentioning to Boyfriend’s mom that dancing lessons might make a great birthday or Christmas gift… a subtle hint from his mom might make him understand how important it is to a female?

Post # 7
Member
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Does he have a particular type of music that he likes, or a few favorite artists that he’s more likely to jam to? Maybe if he has lots of control over what music is played, he’ll be more excited about dancing to it. My fiance is the same way, but is a music nut, so the music is going to be his main area of planning so that he can be excited about it.

Post # 8
Member
1423 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

So, we’re probably not doing a first dance, either.  He HATES dancing, and even I have to admit he looks pretty foolish…  But, it wasn’t very important to me, so I let it slide.  If you can’t find a way to convince him, you may have to settle for some other compromise.  What else is something else that YOU find really meaningful that he isn’t into?  Or is there something that he really wants that he may be willing to trade a first dance for?  My fiance didn’t even want a photogrpher or flowers at first.  I had to give in somewhere.  It’s all about compromise!

We are going to dance at some point in the evening, though.  Just not when everyone is staring at us.  It might actually be a bit sweeter because then we can be sappy without feeling like we’re on display. 

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