Post # 1
I’ve always known this about him and I normally don’t mind, he’s so gash darn cute, but I guess I always figured he’d, of course, dance with me at our wedding!
Although are wedding is a while away (1 yr), he has recently made it clear to me he won’t dance at our reception. This devestates me. Is this even legal?? Do you have any suggestions as to how I can get him to at least dance our first dance together? I don’t care if I lay on the guilt. I feel I deserve at least that. If I could get some key points and ideas to throw at him, I hope to change his mind.
Plus, not only does he not want to dance, he doesn’t know how to dance. So, I’m thinking dance lessons would be fun. If someone could suggest a place, I’d be sincerely appreciative.
Post # 3
A few questions first: Does he have a close relationship with his dad? Are his parents still married? Did his parents have a first dance? Here is my reasoning: I really want to do a "first look" on the wedding day. He wasn’t sure about it until he talked to his dad who thought it was a great idea. Now he’s 99% sold on it, and all it took was his dad! I didn’t even TALK to his dad about it. If the dad thing doesn’t work, does he have a brother or close guy friend you can confide in and have them talk to him about it? I think sometimes guys need to hear certain things from other guys. If none of this works, you just need to be honest about your feelings with him. Tell him it’s something you’ve always seen yourself doing and it would mean so much if he did it. Pick a short song or a snippit of a song. Is he worried about dancing in front of others? Maybe halfway through the song invite other married couples/the bridal party/etc to join you. At least that might cover the first dance problem.
As for the rest of the night, I say just have fun with your friends/family. Split your time between the dance floor and your new husband. And hey, you could always get him good and liquored up! Or cry…that might work too Good luck, I hope you can find some middle ground.
Post # 4
Lol….thanks. My eyes were actually tearing up while reading your first paragraph. Such great insight, you provided. Then, I started laughing with your liquored up and crying suggestions. Believe me, those ideas definitely crossed my mind.
your right, talking to his best friend is probably my best bet. Fortunately, he happens to be married so he can speak from experience. If my man hears about this dancing situation from another guy, it won’t seem as "girly". Yes, he is definitely worried about dancing in front of others. That’s why I was thinking about taking dance lessons.
Thanks again! I hope your planning is going well!
Post # 5
he won’t even do the "lean and sway" that we all did at middle school dances?
My guy won’t dance, either, but he has agreed to the first dance. And I agree with EAQ–when all else fails, get some liquor in him! 😉
Post # 6
Dude. I feel your pain. Boyfriend refuses to dance too, no matter the amount of drink in him. Finally last summer at a friends wedding, I danced with someone else (college friend who could swing dance) and Boyfriend was jealous. He danced with me then!
Obviously, a jealousy situation won’t work on your wedding day. I’ve thought about mentioning to Boyfriend’s mom that dancing lessons might make a great birthday or Christmas gift… a subtle hint from his mom might make him understand how important it is to a female?
Post # 7
Does he have a particular type of music that he likes, or a few favorite artists that he’s more likely to jam to? Maybe if he has lots of control over what music is played, he’ll be more excited about dancing to it. My fiance is the same way, but is a music nut, so the music is going to be his main area of planning so that he can be excited about it.
Post # 8
So, we’re probably not doing a first dance, either. He HATES dancing, and even I have to admit he looks pretty foolish… But, it wasn’t very important to me, so I let it slide. If you can’t find a way to convince him, you may have to settle for some other compromise. What else is something else that YOU find really meaningful that he isn’t into? Or is there something that he really wants that he may be willing to trade a first dance for? My fiance didn’t even want a photogrpher or flowers at first. I had to give in somewhere. It’s all about compromise!
We are going to dance at some point in the evening, though. Just not when everyone is staring at us. It might actually be a bit sweeter because then we can be sappy without feeling like we’re on display.
Post # 9
You girls are great! It’s comforting to hear your stories, too. Lol, definitely don’t want to play jealousy games anymore, trying to start things off on the right foot, lol …or 2 left feet in his case.
Since the first posting, I s[oke to his best friend and
He has promised to dance with me before the night is over. I’m just not sure when or if it will happen. Probably like what bluejeangreen mentioned, he will at a point when he feels we’re not on display. What’s this compromise crap, lol. And No, he doesn’t even do the lean and sway!!!