- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
I dont know what to do. My fiancee and I keep fighting. I am so frustrated and feel so alone even though I am in a relationship.
Here’s what’s happening. We both live fairly busy lives, I am a business consultant and he is a psych tech. I make a lot more money than him, and have a salaried job, he gets paid hourly and really doesn’t make a lot. I knew this going in, and have promised to work with him to finish getting his bachelor’s degree so he can move on to a better job.
The issue is that we are planning this wedding, while I am putting up quite a bit of the money ( my family is chipping in too, and his parents as well) he also wants to be able to chip in…which is great, because I don’t want to feel like me and my family are paying for the entire wedding. But the problem is that him doing that means he has to be at work 24/7 and by that I mean around the clock because thats the only way he could get a substantial paycheck.
So his schedule is basically working from 7:30am-11:30pm, Or he will work from 3pm-7:30am, so we never get to spend ANY time together. And his job is such that he cannot be on the phone texting or calling, so most days we just dont talk. I go to bed usually at 11pm because I work a regular 9-6pm schedule. I have begged him to keep Friday nights and Saturdays free, so we can have some type of time together, but sometimes he gets called in and he might end up working unless I really insist.
I know and understand why he has to do that, and I feel so terrible for not being completely supportive, but I am just NOT happy, I try to be ok but I am just so alone all the time. I just feel myself drifting away from him, because there is no us time, and my mom tells me to just be patient because its temporary and only for the wedding, but I keep thinking “how am I going to marry this man, if my feelings for him start waning”
The crazy thing is that, when we are together, it is the most amazing time even though sometimes I feel like I have to cram a weeks worth of conversations and experiences into a day and a half. We have a blast together, its just that when he is gone…it just feels awful. I dont wanna be the needy, whiny fiancee but thats what I am right now. I know it, and I cant help it, he keeps telling me “but I need to make this money” and its like he doesn’t acknowledge this is a problem for me.
He has to work to get money, but at the detriment to our relationship. I just dont know what to do, or how to make myself ok with this situation. I need help!