(Closed) My fiancée told me I am unattractive after engagement pictures….?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 152
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Uhhhhhh well I think you are gorgeous and he is an @ss. Really. How dare he! I am so mad and hurt FOR you. I really do think he is undeserving of your love. Why don’t you tell him you ‘need some space’ and not talk to him for a few days to get your head straight. That oughta scare him. He sounds like a pig, sorry. This rings major warning bells, I would make him sweat.

Just to put it in perspective – how will he treat you when you’re pregnant and vulnerable? “Hey whale” “my wife is a fatty” etc etc. Doesn’t sound like he is in your corner at all. Need someone who will tell you you are the most beautiful woman he has ever seen – trust me, that guy IS out there.

Post # 153
706 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

you can do better. i think he is insecure because you are the more attractive one. you also deserve someone who isnt a huge douche, which it sounds like he is. 

Post # 154
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

After looking at the photo, I can only assume he was projecting his own insecurities onto you, maybe he was self-conscious about the way he looks in photos, and this was amplified when he got drunk?

Whatever the excuse, he should have come clean and apologised, because an engaged/married couple should always be on each others’ sides and support each other.  Picking on your looks (or the other way around in a different situation) is very childish behaviour.  Just talk to him again about how this upset you, and that you never want to hear this kind of talk again – it is unacceptable. 

Not that there is anything to pick on because you are truly beautiful. 

Post # 155
863 posts
Busy bee

@Christina0828:  <<<THIS

You shouldn’t be with a man who doesn’t realize what he has with you. My SO never says anything bad about me even if I ask him (on a bad image day) what he’d change about me. He always says that he’d never change anything about me because I’m perfect the way I am. I love that about him.

OP you deserve you someone who treats you better! You are gorgeous! & you shouldn’t let anyone tell you differently, especially the one person who is supposed to be your number one fan and your partner.

Post # 156
6263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Atalanta:  agree. I’m not surprised where this thread went.

Post # 157
2453 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

he was drunk? Good, that means he was being honest and an asshole.

Post # 159
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@ahun6592: You are seriously beautiful! I’d give up a lot to look like you, and I’m not just saying that to make you feel better. You is puuuurdy lady 🙂

View original reply
@claireos: “Alchohol doesn’t turn you into a trolling dick. Your trolling dick personality is just using alchohol as an excuse to be your true trolling dick self.” Couldn’t agree more!

Post # 160
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@ahun6592:  First of all, I think you are gorg. Second, has HE looked in the mirror? Mo offense, but you are by far the better looking one.

Post # 161
4913 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Atalanta:  I didn’t want to insult him, either.  While I agree that she’s “the better looking one” or whatnot, I didn’t think insulting him would help.  Actually, I was afraid that it would make her get defensive of him – a bunch of strangers attacking him.  Not sure that’s what the OP was looking for.  I hope she has gotten the support she needs either way – he’s an asshole, bottom line and she can do better than being with an asshole.  I am still really sad for her about all this 🙁

Post # 162
1354 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

FI’s words upon hearing this story: “She should definitely break it off with that drunken asshole.” So, there ya go.

Post # 163
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

you are like way way way out of his league! He needs to get a grip.

Post # 164
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

Okay I think I’m going to play a bit of devil’s advocate here but I really don’t mean to offend you in anyway. And for the record I would be totally devastated as much as you are and yes your Fiance made a terrible asshole move by ever saying this. 

However that being said, even if he doesn’t personally think you aren’t the most beautiful woman ever and even went so far to be a complete jerk and say ridicolous things that made you feel ugly, he still wanted to be with you and marry you. So even dispite your “unattractivness” he still wants you, then try to think of what an awesome personality and person you are!

As for all the responses to leave him and find someone who makes you feel perfect 24/7, take a hard look and try to think if this is something that is going to be a deal breaker for you. 

Lots of bee loving here to go around and please don’t think you are anything less than beautiful!

ETA: This does not give him a free pass by any means, but if he is a good guy and seriously just had a f**ked up moment, try not to be so disheartened. 

Post # 165
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

ARE YOU KIDDING!? I want to call him an ass but we really don’t know him, and I’ve said stupid shit when drinking–nothing hurtful–just stupid. Honestly, before I read your story I looked at the photo and said to myself “ugh, shes gorgeous”

He doesn’t owe it to you to think you’re attractive, but you owe it to yourself to know that YOU are beautiful, and any guy would be crazy not to show you and tell you that.

Post # 166
1366 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@ahun6592:  This situation sends out a red flag to me. If he behaves this way now when he’s drunk, who is to say it won’t happen again when he is drunk? After you get married, does his behavior get more abusive when he gets drunk?

Drunk or not, there is no excuse to call your girlfriend/fiancee/wife ugly. I would take this a sign not to marry him unless he quits drinking.

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