(Closed) My fiancée told me I am unattractive after engagement pictures….?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 334
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

For years, I have been on medication which caused me to gain stubborn weight. I think I am fat and ugly, but my husband tells me that I am the most beautiful woman in the world to him.

I was a size 2 when I was 18 and now at age 30, I have ballooned to a size 12/14. I do not feel comfortable wearing a bathing suit in public. My Mother-In-Law once told me not to eat a cupcake because I was too fat and needed to walk. Some bony mean girl commented that my weight gain was very noticeable and asked me if I was pregnant. I had an ex who blamed his erectile dysfunction on my fat stomach.

What I have learned is that those who need to put down others have their own issues. Sometimes it is jealousy or just a lack of respect. In the case of the OP’s fiance and my ex boyfriend, they felt insecure so they are taking shots at the women they are with.

Post # 335
1251 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

DH said this when I read the OP, (haven’t read other comments): “Dump him, go find someone else. He’s f*cking stupid and sounds like an asshole.” And I agree with DH completely. NO ONE should EVER be made to feel like they are ANYTHING less than GORGEOUS with their SO, PERIOD. 


Even when DH has ten too many beers, he comments on how BEAUTIFUL I am, and how much he loves me, and how sexy I am. That is how your life partner should always be, because hello, they’re marrying and commiting to you, your body, and your face, for LIFE.

Post # 336
8 posts

I’m sorry to hear that. No one deserves to hear that from someone you think loves you. Are you still with him?

Post # 337
83 posts
Worker bee

View original reply
@Birdi:  agree 100%.

Girl you are gorgeous and seem really sweet. You are obviously not the kinda girl a guy like that gets often and he is putting you down often but subtly or drunk & not so subtle lol bc he’s insecure and knows he’ll never get another girl like you so by making you feel like your not good or attractive enough, and should feel lucky to be with him he thinks you won’t ever leave him.


It’s a mental thing and you can’t change it. 


I have a beautiful friends whose husband put her down for years that she wasn’t pretty enough or needed makeup to look good, and now that their divorced she has men asking her out left and right. He put her down for so long that she thought no one would want her or find her attractive. 




Im sure he will apologize a lot and stop for awhile but he sounds like be has a lot of insecurities. Especially to do that in front of your friends. I hope you make the right choice for you. You are very beautiful. 


Post # 338
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Don’t marry him. you deserve better. 

be grateful this happened before your wedding. 


Post # 339
239 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2006

You are very beautiful and attractive. If i were a guy, i would totally hit on you.:) for a guy to say that, he has very low self esteem and insecure about himself that is why he is trying to put you down by saying that but in the back of his head, he knows he doesnt deser you and you can get someone better than him. He is trying to make you feel bad about yourself so you will stay with him. But for me, dont let him insult you like that, everyone has their own beauties. If he doesnt stop nwo and doesnt respect you, its better to break it off..from my own personal experience.You are absolutely pretty..hugs hugs..:)


Post # 341
4687 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

Any updates? How is counseling going?

Post # 342
9948 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012


View original reply
@aicila:  Wonderful website… thank you for the link.

And I found another great piece of video from YouTube as well when I was looking at the one you referenced…

This one from Judge Marilyn Milian (from the Tv Show… A People’s Court), where she gets truly offended when someone says the R-Word in her Court Room (good for her)


And at the end of the video it references a Awareness Campaign that I wasn’t knowledgeable of http://www.r-word.org

Awesome !!

I certainly am one who is onboard with the whole idea of stopping the use of this “slang” term… as it truly is a derogatory term to describe another human being… and no less offensive than any “racial slur” in our society.

We are ALL better than that.

As the slogan says… “Spread the word… to end the word”


Post # 343
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

View original reply
@ahun6592:  Oh, hunny. I’m so incredibly sorry for what he said to you. That’s incredibly disrespectful and vicious. He should be ashamed of himself!!!   

Seeing your picture, you are seriously gorgeous and look like such a sweetheart. The audacity for him to say such horrible things. He is putting you down like that because he is extremely insecure about himself. I’ve been in a similiar position like that with my first boyfriend so believe me I know!

Drunk or sober, it does not justify his actions or behavior! You deserve to be treated so much better. If you ever need to talk, please feel free to message me. xoxo

Post # 344
36 posts
  • Wedding: August 2014

Sorry, I didn’t read through all the comments here. But judging from your avatar pic, I don’t think the drunk=honesty thing is what’s going on here. I think he may be insecure with his own looks and that is what made him lash out at you. Regardless, it is such a shitty thing to do/say!

Post # 345
38 posts
  • Wedding: July 2011

Dont worry about it sweetie. Sounds to me like he is the one with the insecurity issues… You do seem to  be a bit out of his league. 😉


Post # 346
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Put the wedding on hold.  There are some real issues here.  If he is making you feel bad about yourself, emotionally abusing you in front of other people, that is a big problem.  Go see a counselor, stop making wedding plans, and get some space.  


You do not deserve this and he needs to know that, whether you continue the relationship with him or not.

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