(Closed) My fiancée told me I am unattractive after engagement pictures….?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
Member
1462 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Let me just say you are stunning!!! You are out of his league and he didnt realize it until he saw the engagement photos. He is having some self-esteem issues that he is clearing trying to give it to you. You cant let anyone tear you down that includes ANYONE.!!!

I cant tell you what to do but you have to always put yourself first in any relationship be it your friends, family, or your Fiance.

BIG HUG

Post # 48
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I can’t believe he would say those things about you. I’m so sorry. He has to know that his words have really affected you. I would even say that those words are verbally abusive.

 

I don’t know what I would do if my Fiance said those things. 🙁

 

Well we know one thing for sure; he is a damn liar. You are beautiful.

 

Perhaps he is jealous? I don’t know, I’d be pretty pissed off too if I was with someone who put the way I looked to shame.

Post # 49
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

First of all, you are gorgeous and, frankly, way hotter than your fiance.  He was probably projecting because he’s insecure about how he looks next to you.  But that’s not the point.

The question isn’t how can you marry someone who isn’t attracted to you.  It’s how can you marry someone who says such hurtful things to you?  He sounds like a total jerk and you deserve to be with someone who tells you that you’re beautiful everyday.  

 

Post # 50
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Logically, why would any man willingly marry a woman he found ugly? Makes no sense. He wouldn’t be with you if he didn’t find you attractive, which you obviously are.

I think this is more a power play than anything else.

If he has the habit of making hurtful comments about your appearance, I would be very wary of that.

Post # 51
Member
1488 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

ugh this still drives me nuts. How can you continue to be with someone who thinks, let alone says, these things. You deserve so much better. Why is it that pretty girls are so often with total jerks?! You say he makes comments along these lines when sober? He is intentionally cutting you down so you won’t catch on that you’re too good for him, inside and out apparently. Don’t let him. Be with a secure man who doesn’t need to cut you down to make himself feel better.

Post # 52
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Woah.  Your Fiance was completely out of line with that one and made a huge mistake, because you are gorgeous!

I’m not saying what you should do, but I dump him, for sure, as hard as it would be.  I could never be with someone who didn’t think I was completely beautiful, even if it was in his eyes only 🙂  I agree with previous bees that this could be a sign of possible future alcoholic abuse, and that is something you DO NOT want to be involved in. 

If you don’t leave him, tell him you are postponing the wedding until he agrees to couples counseling.

Post # 53
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@ahun6592:  wow….. For one, I can’t imagine anyone telling their girlfriend they think they are ugly. Being drunk doesn’t sudenly make you a liar. Secondly, no offence, but your guy isn’t a stud either. I wonder if he has some sort of body issue that he is pushing off on you.

 

I wouldn’t want to be with someone who thought I was ugly eithre, dear. What’s more, you are so pretty! There is obviously  aproblem. If he turns into an asshole every time he gets drunk, I’d leave him.

Post # 54
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

omg, what horrible things to say! Even if you weren’t really pretty (which you are!), it is horrible for someone who supposedly loves you to say that. If you want to stay in this relationship, you need to sit him down and have a SERIOUS talk with him. Tell him that what he said, even if he was drunk, was completely unacceptable, and that some comments that he made while sober have you questioning if this is what he really thinks and, as a result, have you questioning the relationship. Flat-out tell him you don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t think you’re absolutely beautiful, and that he can leave if he doesn’t think so. If he says he does and wants to stay with you, tell him he has no chances remaining in the insulting-your-appearance department.

 

If you are truly considering ending your relationship over this… I have a story. I used to date this guy I was head-over-heels in love with. My first real love. He would call me fat all the time, said I couldn’t go out without a full face of makeup, couldn’t go out without styling my hair, etc, because “he had high standards.” I bought it at the time cause I was young and stupid. I was a size 0, so not fat, but tried to lose weight/get ripped. I always wore makeup and styled my hair, looked perfect all the time. Yeah, that bitch broke up with me and married a fat chick. Literally around three times my size. Never wears makeup or styles her hair (and she could really use at least a little of both). And since he married her, I guess he’s okay with it! Because he actually didn’t like me, but apparently likes her! (Or else he’s saying even worse things for her, but I genuinely hope he is nicer to her because he actually likes her. However given the verbal abuse I got, I doubt it.) So yeah. He was just dissing me because he wasn’t in love with me. And then I found my husband, who thinks I am beautiful even when I have strep throat and a 103 degree fever and lymph nodes so swollen I look double-chinned, and who doesn’t care if I go out with him without drying my hair or putting on makeup. So look. If he doesn’t think you’re gorgeous all the time, I don’t think he really loves you. I hate, hate, hate saying that. But… ugh. UGH. So sorry, girl!

 

Ugh and really, I know this is insensitive, but between the two of you, YOU are not the one who should be concerned about your appearance. Mr. Overweight-with-freckles-and-a-weird-goatee is.

Post # 55
Member
3194 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

That’s pretty weird. When my Fiance gets drunk he is on me like white on rice. He tends to be looser with telling me how hot other girls are, but I join in, so it’s all good. (Look don’t touch, I don’t care.)

in theory, alcohol lowers your inhibitions, so it would make me nervous too if my Fiance made those comments. I would assume when he’s sober he subconsciously feels that way but won’t say it. 🙁 sorry you’re going through this. He sounds like an asshat. 

Post # 56
Member
2437 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@ahun6592:  🙁 I am so sorry your Fiance was acting like that.  That is absolutely heart breaking to hear.  I think you are very pretty. Maybe you should step back, and just follow your intuiton on whether you think you can move on from this.

Post # 57
Member
1397 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@ahun6592:  You’re super pretty! Men are idiots. Drunk men are bigger idiots.

Post # 58
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I read my SO this post and then showed him the picture and he actually laughed. The fact that THAT dude is giving YOU crap about your looks is BEYOND rediculous. Dump the ass hole and find a dude who won’t even joke around with your feelings and self confidence. The fox that you are, it’s literally the least you deserve!

Post # 59
Member
2529 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Drunk or not…that kind of behaviour is unacceptable. Anything that puts your other half down in anyway, shape or form, to other people is a big no no. Put him in the doghouse for a very long time. 

Post # 60
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@ahun6592:  Uhhh Im sorry but WHY exactly are you going to marry this man?!?! I mean seriously, even if the photographer DID do some light editing (like allll photogs do!) your Fiance is NOT the attractive one in your relationship!! If I were you I would tell him to take a hike and see how well he does with those other “more attractive” girls!

Post # 61
Member
922 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

You are very pretty, and he looks like a complete douche with those ugly chin pubes.

Which, if you are planning to stay with him (I wouldn’t), I’d start mentioning all the time etc

“Christ you look fucking ugly with those damn chin pubes’ 

Sauce for the goose…

edit:  Just looked at the photo again… he’s also cross eyed.  I’d also start calling him a “boss eyed bitch”

 

 

 

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