(Closed) My fiancee wants circumcision for our future baby and I don´t. Please help

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 196
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

RayKay:  Totally agree. And also if you will notice there are plenty of women here who have said it doesn’t matter to them either way, because you know that is only a small part of a person and a relationship. So I wouldn’t be concerned about his future sex life. However I would be concerned about immediate risks, consent, etc. I will say my fiance jokes on occasion that sometimes he considers thanking his parents for NOT cutting of “part of [his] weiner” occasionally he calls it a “ding-a-ling” instead. I will not however thank them because thatj would  be a weird as hell thing to do, although I appreciate their choice. lol 

Post # 197
Member
4238 posts
Honey bee

stephanie30:  

It may be a dealbreaker. Only you or your groom can decide. I do agree that this should be discussed prior to marriage. In fact, list ALL your known deal breakers and reconcile those now. Be prepared for more to come up as the years go on. Sorry if that sounds ominous but, hey, I’ve been married awhile.

Post # 198
Member
4238 posts
Honey bee

KinkyOrange:  thank you 

j_jaye:  don’t forget that economics influence culture, too. I view the market forces at work in the USA health industry differently from you but do agree that if we go to a single-payer system the religious reasons for male circumcision would be disregarded and people would seek the procedure through the private sector as they are able. 

 

Post # 199
Member
2123 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

rfs23:  That’s not what I said. I never saw incidences of FGM in urology. Urology includes the surgical management of the male reproductive organs, not the female. “Well, as a urologist, of course one would only see the botched cases.” That’s not true and not what I said. I said I’ve never seen a circumcision gone wrong (though that could be because we only performed circumcision for medical reasons and our urologists were some of the best in the world) and since it’s urologists who perform circumcisions, why would they only see the botched cases?

As you said, types of FGM vary dramatically. Removal of the labia is only one type of FGM (and don’t forget that young women and do undergo labiaplasty for medical reasons), often after the labia has been cut, the wounds on each side will be sutured together so that the vaginal opening is healed closed or almost closed. What jily said about it impairing the function of the vagina and urethra is therefore correct, and the reason why myself and others keep saying that FGM and circumcision are not the same, or comparable. Women who have been the victims of FGM have repeated infections, problems with periods and urination, can lose the ability to have sex altogether and are at risk of maternal death and there is a higher change of neonatal death. The risks and effects are not the same.

Post # 200
Member
2123 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

stephanie30:  Sadly I’ve temporarily lost my access to medical databases, otherwise I’d have tried to find you some light reading. Perhaps see if you can find anything in paediatric or urology journals?

KinkyOrange nailed it though, I second everything she said.

Post # 201
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

[content moderated for baiting]

Post # 202
Member
3443 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

renierose:  so only people who are or may directly be involved in a situation may have an opinion on it? So much for all that premarital counseling by priests who never have and never will get married… But it’s good to know you think CFBC people aren’t allowed to have an opinion on anything regarding children whatsoever.

For some people it’s a big deal. Deal breaker levels of big. If you’d asked me a few years ago I was 100% on board with circumcision and also had the mindset that it was “better” and looked better. Than my SO (who is uncircumcised) came along and looking back I can’t believe how judgemental and culturally biased I was. I don’t think circumcision is evil or anything, but I also think it’s unnecessary. As it stands I would not marry a man who insisted any future son be circumcised.

Post # 203
Member
3114 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

renierose:  Newer studies suggest that there is little to no link between circumcision and HPV and another study showed findings that circumcised men actually had a higher rate of genital warts caused by HPV. 

Post # 204
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

[content moderated for baiting]

Post # 205
Member
3114 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

snowflake8:  If you consider 32% to be “super common”, then ok.

Many women are more than happy with a man’s natural body and I wouldn’t want my son marrying the kind of judgemental woman who wasn’t. What exactly is your problem with a natural penis? 

Post # 206
Member
3009 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

snowflake8:  “your son’s future wife will thank you.” Or not. My husband isn’t circumcized and I think it’s just fine. You can’t speak for all women. Never been an issue whatsoever for either of us.

Post # 207
Member
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - State Park

As a NICU and nursery nurse I regularly assist with circumcisions. I have never seen one go wrong (and I’ve seen many). The only people I’ve encountered that haven’t had a circumcision done on their boy is those with lack of insurance. 

Post # 208
Member
3114 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

Gabrielle91:  Circumcision has no religious roots when we are talking about the American population. It was introduced as a cure for masturbation and since then has had other vague medical reasons to back up a practice that is now rooted in conformity and tradition, which over time we are seeing disproved. It doesn’t just have a tainted history, it’s still tainted. 

Post # 209
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

peegee:  Are you referring to the recent study said that women with uncircumcised partners, although more likely to get hpv, were not more likely to get cervical cancer?  I didn’t get cervical cancer either, because I got the leep procedure twice.  That study fails as far as my cervix is concerned.

Post # 210
Member
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018 - Our Backyard

I didn’t read the other comments, but here are my thoughts:

1) you’re getting ahead of yourself, you’re not even pregnant yet and you may have a girl 🙂

2) is this a deal breaker? if so, leave now. if not, see #1 🙂

3) my own personal opinion, religious beliefs aside, the boy should look like his dad. I think it’s easier for him growing up and showering together-should he see dad’s and his doesn’t look the same, that would raise questions, maybe make son feel weird, etc.  So, if dad is circumcised, he should be, and visa versa. 

4) see #1 🙂

stephanie30:  

The topic ‘My fiancee wants circumcision for our future baby and I don´t. Please help’ is closed to new replies.

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