(Closed) My fiancee wants circumcision for our future baby and I don´t. Please help

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 226
Member
3009 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

renierose:  While my husband and I chose not to circumsize our son (I don’t feel it is necessary) I don’t think it is abuse, either, and have easily accepted my friends’ decisions to circumsize their sons. Congrats on your pregnancy 🙂

Post # 227
Member
3114 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

renierose:  I didn’t see that one, I found one that said men were more likely to spread the HPV virus through their shaft and testicles and another that said a sample of circumcised men had a higher rate of genital warts. I think it’s clear that there are a lot of condradictory studies out there and I’m not sure that any of them are conclusive enough to decide to cut a functioning part of the the body off. 

 

Post # 228
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

herrera2016:  what sexual disfunction are you talking about?  Almost all American men are circumcised and they have been for generations.  We have managed to survive as a society.  You are biased against it because of your background.  Just because circumcision isn’t big in your culture (Hispanic) doesn’t mean it’s abuse.  I’m sure you would hate Anglo-Americans for judging you for your traditions, so please don’t judge me for mine.  Thanks

Post # 229
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I’m from Canada where most boys are circumsized (my family is also half Jewish, so it’s big in my family). Fiance feels strongly that it’s unnecessary and wouldn’t want our boys circumsized, and since I’m not that bothered, we’ll defer to what he prefers.

Post # 230
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

renierose:  “

A new study in the International Journal of Men’s Health shows that circumcised men have a 4.5 times greater chance of suffering from erectile dysfunction (ED) than intact men, revealing what appears to be a significant acquisition vector. Researchers Dan Bollinger and Robert S. Van Howe, M.D., M.S., FAAP found a strong association between circumcision and ED in their survey of 300 men (OR = 4.53, p=.0058). What other studies support this finding and what could be an underlying cause?

Eighteen percent of adult American men—three-fourths of whom are circumcised—have ED, affecting 18 million men. Circumcision’s role as a risk factor may be reflected in ED drug sales; while the United States represents 5% of the world’s population it also accounts for 46% of Viagra sales. Other studies have previously observed that circumcision’s damage results in worsened erectile functioning, inability to maintain an erection, and reducing the glans sensitivity, including an overall penis sensitivity reduction by 75%”

 

Impotence and sexual dysfunction. The nerves in the foreskin apparently provide an impulse to aid erection. Circumcision has long been associated with an increased incidence of impotence. Glover (1929) reported a case.2 Winkelmann (1959) suggested impotence as a possibility,6 as did Foley (1966).10 Stinson (1973) reported five cases.13 Palmer & Link (1979) reported two cases.14 More recently, additional evidence of sexual dysfunction after circumcision has emerged. Coursey et al. reported that the degradation in sexual function after circumcision is equivalent to the degradation experienced after anterior urethroplasty.47 Fink et al. reported statistically significant degradation in sexual function.49 A survey carried out in South Korea found that circumcised men reported painful erections, and diminished sexual pleasure, and a few reported curvature of the penis upon erection.48 Shen et al. (2004), in a study carried out in China, reported erectile dysfunction in 28.4 percent of the men in the study after circumcision, and ‘weakened erectile confidence’ in 34.7 percent.59

 

From: http://www.cirp.org/library/sex_function/ 

Post # 231
Member
815 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

renierose:  I may never have a girl and don’t suffer any abuse should I not care about what your daughter may face?  It’s called empathy even if one doesn’t see or face a challenge they can still be an activist. Just like men who jumped and aided women’s suffrage and rights.

As for hpv I have not seen a single scholastic article that shows its not as effective as it was thought.  Care to share your scholastic information showing this?  Rates of effectiveness is around 90% which is higher than circumcision.  There is also one study which has shown no differences in hpv rates in circumcised vs uncircumcised men in part because hpv can be located on any body part. This is why, as you have said, condoms are not 100% effective – because it’s any exposed skin and circumcised men still have exposed skin through sexual intercourse.  Although I sympathasize with your struggles with hpv and cervical issues, the importance of pap testing is one tool we have to detect early and treat women who are subjected to this leading to better outcomes and less deaths due to cervical cancer.

when we engage in sexual interecourse we are ultimately taking risks, as is everything in life.  In my view point solely, it’s unfair to burden an innocent child with a medical procedure on an adults sexual decision and fear of one gender being a carrier – which is a flawed arguement.  Remember for a homosexual man to get hpv they got it from a female carrier. You could always teach your daughter to request future male partners to circumcise for her if he wants to have sexual relationships with her. This is what it should be about – adults making sexual choices.

Post # 233
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

renierose:  Also I am not Hispanic, I am American and roughly 1/2 of the men I have been with (Also American and some even white) were not circumcised. 

In 2005, about 56 percent of male newborns were circumcised prior to release from the hospital according to statistics from the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality. And with the continuing decline of circumcision in the US those numbers are likely to continue to drop. 

However OP is in Canada where only 31.9% of boys are being circumcised. 

 

Post # 234
Member
815 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

CanadaMoose:  most boys are not circumcised in Canada, but those having Jewish ancestry or other religious/cultural backgrounds have a higher rate.

Post # 235
Member
5161 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

CanadaMoose:  Most boys overall in Canada are not circumcised. The rate is currently 32%. 🙂

The rate among the population doing for religious reasons is however likely higher (and I assume amongst the Jewish half of your family would be much higher.)

Post # 236
Member
815 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

stephanie30:  how strongly you feel about the issue depends on whether you stay or not.  I will tell you one thing I learnt once I had my son – I have never been so protective about anyone in my life.  Had my husband wanted our son to be circumcised it would be over my dead body.  This issue might not be big enough for you however which would obviously not lead to further marital strain.

My approach with your husband is based on his motivation so find that out first.

1) Religious- is he a pick and choose religious person or devoutly religious?  If the former I would question him over why pick on this particular aspect.  There are also websites of popular religious groups (like Judaism) who are against the typical circumcision and follow alternatives like prick.  See if this can help you and husband come to terms.

2) Cultural-Societal: talk to a doctor to get information on the procedure, pros/cons.  Sit and go through statistics on circumcision in your area. I would also force him to watch a video on circumcision an actual one if possible.  Some people have no idea what it entails and when the do they change their tone quite quickly.

Good luck to you and your partner.

 

Post # 237
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Ettalie:  yes, because it was so easy for me to ask my adult partners to get a circumcision.  The guy I dated with hippie parents had looked into it before he met me, but chickened out.  What is just a quick and easy procedure for an infant is a major surgery for an adult.

Look, I don’t see the big deal either way.  I will circumcise my son if I have one.  I believe it is the right choice.  That being said, I have no problem with other people choosing not to.  What I do have a problem with is people who think that everyone has to agree with their position.  And I especially take issue with inactivists who claim that it’s abuse.  There is something seriously wrong with someone who is that hung up on foreskin.

Post # 238
Member
815 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

renierose:  again you had a choice to ask if it was very important for you.  Would you have gotten a favorable result maybe not but that’s what happens with decisions.  I’ve asked all my partners for a detailed std analysis by a doctor and me seeing those results in person one partner even had hpv.  Had they said no I would then have a choice to continue or not (whih I wouldn’t have) but these are adult choices to be made by adults.  it’s far easier to place the burden on an innocent child so you don’t have to deal with the consequences of your decisions or lack there off.  And if you think it’s an easy and simple procedure try looking after some.  In my birth group alone I had one woman hating putting her son through it as he bled (not major but there was bloody bandages) and he was in noticable discomfort.

Post # 239
Member
14492 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think this discussion has run its course. I’m going to close it now. Have a good evening ladies. 

The topic ‘My fiancee wants circumcision for our future baby and I don´t. Please help’ is closed to new replies.

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