(Closed) FMIL preferring other bride over me

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1639 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@ecmsmile:  The only advice I have for you is maybe she “pitys” this bride more than you and feels she needs more of her attention? I would try to ignore her and enjoy your wedding. Surround yourself and dwell on those who are happy for you and dwell on your own personal happiness. Some people are petty :-/

Post # 4
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My FMIL is obsessed with my future sister in law. My fiance’s brother got his gf (of a few months) pregnant and they got married. SHe’s nice and all but that shouldnt over ecompass the 3.5 years we have known each other! Some people just suck. I understand how you feel… try not to let it bother you. Do what you have to do to stay positive!!

Post # 5
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Maybe your fiance can mention this to her? That he and others have noticed the favortism, and that he “thinks” it hurts your feelings? Like other PP’s said, maybe she feels bad for the girl (being an illegal immigrant, I imagine she doesn’t have much family here or money???), so maybe she doesn’t realize how she’s acting and the effect it’s having on you? 

Post # 7
Member
237 posts
Helper bee

I don’t see what her being an undocumented immigrant has to do with her being “shady”. By “drug user” I assume she smokes pot, and maybe she’s rude to you because she picks up you’re rude to her, OR, not being from here, does not realize her behavior is rude.

Maybe your FMIL likes her more. If you clearly have the entire family’s support, why don’t you get over it?

I just feel like you’re framing yourself as the “legitimate” bride.

Post # 10
Member
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Being an illegal immigrant is shady. You know, that whole “illegal” part.

That aside, I think you should just ignore FMIL and get on with it.

Post # 12
Member
237 posts
Helper bee

@pharmy: Get over yourself. Being an UNDOCUMENTED immigrant (human beings are not “illegal”) has nothing to do with your CHARACTER – there are many honest people who enter the U.S. illegally for legitimate reasons. And she’s marrying an American citizen (I assume) so problem solved.

 

At OP, I gave you advice: Get over it.

Post # 15
Member
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@MrsDocHorrorShow:

I think we’re going to have to agree to disagree because this is neither the time nor the place for an immigration discussion.

Post # 16
Member
758 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@ecmsmile:  I can relate, somewhat. But, honestly, there’s nothing you can do but just focus on yourself and your soon-to-be husband. 🙂 Maybe you could ask your FMIL for advice or help with some projects? Do you think that maybe the other girl is asking her for more than you are and that’s why it seems like she’s focusing more on her?  Just a thought.  But, still, try not to focus on that so much.  Good luck!

@MrsDocHorrorShow:  Being an UNDOCUMENTED immigrant (human beings are not “illegal”) has nothing to do with your CHARACTER

<3 Yes, yes, yes.

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