- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
If nothing else I’m sure this post will likely be long and will amuse! And to vent/express “what IS it with sales people?!”
Quick background. I’m a tomboy, I think I’ve worn 5 dresses in 22 years. My best friend is the polar opposite (and so much help with wedding stuff!). I think we’re such great friends BECAUSE we’re opposites. Fiance is tickled just to GET me in a dress and more so with him as the reason.
So, we pop into David’s Bridal (she’s doing things in baby steps to “not make your head explode”). I am in jeans, a tshirt and my everyday cowboy boots. We walk in:
DB1 (David’s Bridal lady #1): What brings you here today?
Me: A wedding.
DB1: Ooooo…Kkkkk… are you looking for bridal, bridesmaids..
F (friend) and I: Bride.
DB1: Ok! (blah blah)
Me: Really, I just want to look around and look at dresses by myself.
DB1: Oh, (blah blah)
Me: Really… I just want to look right now.
DB1: (Blah, Blah), [DB2] here can help you.
DB2: Would you sit down here so we can…
Me: Thank you, no, I just really want to look.
DB2: O…k (a kinder ok than DB2, but like she’s talking to a kid that doesn’t want to go to bed), do you know what you want?
Me: a dress. I just want to look at them.
DB2: ok, what style do you want?
Me: I don’t know
DB2: do you know what length you want?
F: I’m her best friend and she really has no idea, which is why we’re here trying to look.
DB2: do you… this goes on a few more questions. (I did get to answer one question, that I want ivory … you should have seen her face light up!)… eventually I tire of the game and say:
Me: nope, which is why I said I just wanted to look
DB2: Ok, how about you guys look and I’ll just sort of follow and be available for any questions? HEY, there’s an idea!
So she leads us to the dresses you can purchase off the rack to start with, mid-stride she asks:
DB2: do you know what size you are?
Me: No idea, 32-34 x 30-32 in mens jeans/pants.
She stops mid-stride, turns and looks at me, blinks a few times, composes herself, looks me up and down and proclaims: “You’re probably an 16/18”. I’m like, whatever, the last time I DID buy womens pants it was several different brands in size 8 and I know I’ve gained a little weight since then but NOT 10 sizes worth… but thanks to the Bee I know their sizing is whacked… and I don’t care if you call it size 178 if it fits.
So she proceeds to the off the rack area and the size she thinks I am and points out the ivory ones. Beacuse I obviously can’t tell the difference between ivory and white and so much for hanging back.
Me: I have no waist (literally I don’t have a waist and I have a short torso just like my mom, I can fit one finger inbetween rib/hip bones, at least once a month I bend/stretch somehow on accident so that they rub each other… doesn’t hurt but feels odd. However I have my dad’s legs which is why mens pants work so well. mom is 5’2″ and dad is 6’3″… it’s HELL finding clothes with her torso and his arms/legs).
(still) Me: and it’s fat now.
DB2 stops and turns and looks at me funny. I pat my stomach.
After the last comment to DB2, I look at F and say “M (FI) is getting a little tummy too. You know what C (mutual friend) said? it’s a sign I’m happy and in love. Hah, I told her it’s a sign we’re being lazy and not exercising enough!
DB2 stops again, looks at me with wide eyes, looks around like she’s afraid someone heard me curse and say blasphemy in a church and after a few head swivels looking around goes on.
DB2: What is your dress budget?
Me: No idea. (To my friend:) if it’s anything like the ring there’s no telling. I expected to buy it myself, but Fiance made a comment the other day that made it clear he wanted to pay for the dress. He didn’t give an amount and I didn’t ask… I’ll just spend what I would have paid myself. The ring comment was because our first ring shopping started out with him saying “an engagement ring should cost at least X” and I thought, ok, that’s a good price to shoot for (NOT starting price point).
DB2: Oooh, you have a little sugar daddy. What?! How did we get here? “sugar daddy” is used to describe a considerable OLDER man who buys/pays for everything. He’s 4 years older. Fiance makes 50cents LESS than I do an hour but works more, we live within our means… which is pretty easy since we are happy homebodies. Aside from a little electronics and video games we don’t buy much we don’t need. We both pay for our own stuff and split the household bills. PLUS he’s not “little”, he’s not a big man, but he’s bigger than me and I’m dead average for women. BUT I didn’t say boo, cause if I opened my mouth I wasn’t going to be able to stop bashing her brain in with rules of logic, common sense, decency and why the H can’t I just LOOK at dresses… she looked at me and changed the subject. I’m pretty sure I was looking at her like she had three heads tho.
She finally backed off and just hung back at that point.
Fun moment of note:
-I heard “the bell”: My friend talked me into trying some on, but of course it’s by appointment only. They had an appointment that hadn’t showed yet and they said they do give some time, but if they don’t show by X time we could have it. They showed… which of course led to an appointment next week. So while DB2 is getting my info I hear the infamous bell I’ve heard about here. No thought, pure reaction, my head whips sideways to F and I say: “If I try on dresses, and I pick one, and someone rings a bell, I will hurt them.”. She laughs, DB2 looks like she just saw a ghost. When I stopped talking I realized she had been talking when I reacted (like I looked back to her and realized her mouth was still moving but her eyes were getting bigger) and immediately, back to my normal self and tone of voice, said “I’m sorry, I just realized you were already talking, what was the question?”. NOW she looks like she’s thinking of calling Ghost Busters.
Yeah, so like I said long post… but I hope everyone that makes it through it laughed at least twice. And we get to go back next week!