(Closed) My first marriage…becoming a stepmom… advice?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 17
Member
2838 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@baletrina:  That’s totally awesome.  My dad became my stepsister’s dad, too.  He walked her down the aisle just 6 months ago 🙂

Post # 18
Member
2497 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

My husband is significantly older than me and has 2 daughters from a previous marriage. They are 17 and 20 years old. The older one lives with us full time and the younger one spends about 40% of the time with us. I never wanted kids and I don’t want to be mom to anyone except my 2 dogs. 

Suggestions:

Don’t try to be mom or parent her. As an adult figure in the house, she should respect you and it’s your job to earn that respect and not abuse it. 

Let dad do the heavy lifting when it comes to setting house rules, consequences, etc. But be there for him and make those decisions together so you’re both on the same page about expectations. 

Let her come talk to you about stuff; try not to pry too much. A few questions about her day/school/sports/friends is ok, but let her decide how much she shares with you. 

Always try to smile. Kids, especially step-kids, tend to take things personally when they see mom/dad/stepmom/stepdad upset about something. So if you’re having a bad day, or you and your SO have had a disagreement, try to be friendly and pleasant to you stepdaughter. 

Good luck to you! It’s a tough job being a stepparent, but the rewards are immeasurable. 

Post # 19
Member
2094 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Just wanted to pipe in and say hi! I am 35, never married, no children…really lived the true single girl life. So this is a big change for me!

 

He and I are just 8 months apart in age and his son is 6. Adorable, clever, kind little boy who appears to adore me! I feel really lucky to have the love of a child…He’s just a cool little guy!

But we have been going through transition..all of us. Adjusting in our own way. Him with balancing both of us, his son with time alone and just his dad having someone in his life and me with time alone and space. I need lots of it!

I’ve seen some great books on Amazon about this. I plan on reading them. And we are deciding how we will tell his son when we are engaged…which should be a few weeks or months. He bought the ring Friday!

 

Best…

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