(Closed) My first post…Feeling numb

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I am sorry sweetie, have you actually talked to him about this recently? 

Post # 4
2025 posts
Buzzing bee

🙁 Sounds like you two have been through a lot.

When you guys talk about getting married, or when he says he’s not ready, does he offer at all what he thinks he wants/needs to accomplish first?

Post # 7
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@caliluvsunshine:  Aww *hugs*

Have you expressed it to him the way you expressed it to us?

I’m sorry but I think it’s BS when a guy stalls for years… you know if you want to be with that person forever after six years.

I would suggest not moving in with him until you get that proposal.

Of course it’s tricky, you love him, and your daughter is involved, but I think he somehow needs a little nudge. Try to get to the heart of why he doesn’t want to propose. When will there be a perfect time for him? Does such a thing even exist?

I would set a timeline for yourself if I were you. It’s normal to want to get married, and there is a point where enough IS enough.

Post # 9
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@caliluvsunshine:  My Darling Husband use to think that I just wanted to get married because all my friends were but he slowly started to see that most of my friends were actually getting divorced and not married.  He figured it out but I also started going to school and doing things to better my future because I wanted to move forward in my life. He started to see things in a different light and didnt want to get left behind so he realized that what he wanted most was to make me happy and wanting to be his wife was important. 

Maybe you should start doing your own thing and just concentrate on you. Two things can happen, he can realize he does not want to be left behind and will come around or you will grow as a woman and blossom. Its a win win situation if you ask me. 

Post # 12
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Sorry you are going through this. As someone who’s Fiance was unemployed for over a year, I know how tough it is – I hope something comes along for him soon. That being said, I don’t think unemployment is an excuse to not get engaged.  FI and I got engaged (with my dream ring – you can PM me for details how we paid for it if you want) while he was unemployed.  He was really defeated about  not finding a job and was tired of waiting to find one to go on with the rest of his life (it had already b een a year with no luck).  We bought the ring, he went on a job interview, proposed a few days later, and a week after that found out he got the job! We got engaged then for that exact reason – to bring some happiness to a really long period of crappiness.  It worked for us.  I was willing to compromise on a ring (get asha/cz/anything) and upgrade later but it worked out for us that we didn’t have to.  Good luck I hope everythign works out for you.

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