(Closed) My first real vent

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I think she was probably just curious about why you had such strong beliefs against church and God. I wouldn’t see it as a personal attack. She doesn’t know your background and it’s not like she randomly asked you this question. She probably figured you were open to talking about it since you were answering all her other questions.

Sorry but I don’t think she came from a place of attack. I think you should probably just not get into these conversations if you will be offended by the questions people will ask.

Post # 4
Member
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Ugh, I loathe when people bring up religion or politics in social situations.  It’s so innapropriate and makes me wonder what planet these people landed from.

I usually answer, “Oh, sorry, but I prefer not to discuss religion or politics socially” or something along those lines.  I actually am a Catholic and believe in God but it doesn’t matter because it’s no one’s freakin’ business ;o) 

Post # 5
Member
3576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Yikes, she was out of line.  That’s like asking someone how much money they make a year.  Completely inappropriate. She’s an idiot and don’t let her insensitivity bring you down.  Stay true to you and it sounds like you are.

My Fiance and I aren’t getting married in a church either.  I grew up Catholic, Fiance not Catholic but went to Catholic grade school and as an adult, I don’t go to church a lot for reasons that are personal, just as yours.

Nowadays, a lot of people don’t get married in a church. 

Post # 6
Member
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

That was totally inappropriate, and I don’t think it’s strange at all for you to not get married in a church. Fiance and I are religious, and we’re not getting married in a church simply because we don’t have a church home in Austin and we didn’t really want to get married in a church just for the sake of getting married in a church.

I can’t believe how some people think it’s okay to say stuff like that!!!

Post # 8
Member
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

That’s true, maybe just use hotchildinthecity’s response about preferring not to discuss. I’m just saying try not to let it hurt you. She probably didn’t mean anything by it and if she did, she’s the one with major problems.

Post # 9
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee

Yuck… how awkward.  I might say, “My beliefs are quite personal to me.  I’m sure you understand.”  It never fails to amaze me what topics people think are fair game in small talk. 

Post # 10
Member
2719 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

It’s not something she should have asked you, especially not really knowing you at all. I’m also one for not talking about politics & religion much, even though I am a Christian, just because some people like to go too far. I do know people, especially our officiant, who would ask that, no matter if he knew you or not. He’s not being rude, that’s just him, because if he could, he would turn everyone into a Christian. She could be like that. I would just mention that you would prefer not to discuss it.

Post # 12
Member
1037 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010 - Carlouel Yacht Club

Hmmm really awkward situation! And, its funny to think about NOT getting married in a church as “different,” since I feel like that is turning into something very normal nowadays! We aren’t getting married in a church either, since it was much easier to have everything in one location.

I am a Christian, but I guess it wouldn’t come straight into my mind to outright ask someone if they believe in God when I barely know them. Even though my answer would have been “yes” if I were in your shoes, I still would have felt extremely awkward. I don’t know…I just feel like it is always a touchy subject to bring up in mixed company.

Post # 13
Member
1037 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010 - Carlouel Yacht Club

Flying Spaghetti Monster…haha! 😉

Post # 14
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Wow talk about a personal question

Well, I had somebody at work find out I have a life science degree, then ask me if I believe in Evolutionism or Creationism during a group meeting. How awkward.

People just know when to keep their mouths shut! You could alwyas say something like, “I don’t think that has anything to do with where I want to get married” cuz…um…it doesn’t!

Then again, I’ve ran into quite a few people that thought getting married outside a church was a big spectacle, inappropriate, and meant lots of bad things, like your marriage wasn’t real or some crap…people are crazy, EAQ!

Post # 15
Member
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

Yeah, that is totally not her business, and she was out of line AND rude. I’d try to come up with a canned answer for the future in case something like that comes up again. Just “we don’t have a home church” if you’re feeling generous, or “maybe this isn’t the time to discuss” if you’re not (or if they push it).

Post # 16
Member
3252 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think it was rude…plain and simple. Thats half the problem wrong with people in this world…they dont know how to leave ppl alone and mind their own business. I would hae taken offense…maybe not to the where and who questions but def to the do you believe in God question. I mean how rude!

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