Post # 1
My FI’s sister (we are NOT close) is hosting my first shower (mostly for his family members – and my mom) tomorrow. It’s going to be a dinner. She is cooking everything and providing wine. I’ve asked her if I needed to bring/contribute anything and have gotten no response.
Should I bring a bottle of wine or some flowers to thank her for hosting? Should my mom bring something?
Post # 3
Emily post says send flowers the day before and bring a token gift. I got my neighbor a cute keychain from the coach store and a bottle of wine too :). Have fun!!
Post # 4
I gave a gift to the hostess of all three of my showers, including my Future Mother-In-Law.
The gifts weren’t over the top but personal and a way to show my gratitude (candle from Bath and Body Works with metal cover/ bottle of wine and chocolates/flowers and a gift card). You really can’t go wrong with something simple and a thank you card.
Post # 5
@Treejewel19: Sent after the event?
Post # 6
I am doing a diamond candle- something fun and thoughtful, not too expensive. But def. get her something- alot of effort goes into the showers too! Enjoy!
Post # 7
@Dancensations: Love the key-chain idea.
Post # 8
So… should I bring something with me to the event tomorrow or send something afterward?
It’s too late to have something delivered today.
Post # 9
I’d bring a flower arrangement already in a vase and a small gift bag w a token gift. Keychain , wine etc. and a nice note 🙂
Post # 10
My shower is tomorrow as well! My Mom and sister (she is my MOH) are hosting. Since it’s my Mom and my sister – I’m splurging a bit, but I am planning on gifting them their hostess gifts after the shower has concluded and I have a moment alone with them! I think taking it with you is perfectly fine.
Post # 11
My first wedding shower is this weekend too! I was going to have flowers delivered the next day!
Post # 12
I brought flowers to all my hostesses! But they were already in a little thing so they didn’t have to worry about rushing around to get them in a vase. I also brought them each a nice card.
I’d say flowers are always nice, but try not to bring them so the hostess has to assemble them. A bottle of wine is always a nice touch too!
Post # 13
My shower is this weekend too! I have 3 ladies (MOH & two friends) hosting and I got them each gifts sets from Lush Cosmetics. I made tags that say “From my shower to yours” and tied one on each gift.
Definitely get your hostess something… A bottle of wine is always appreciated, or you could think of something else that she might like, such as a clutch, bath set, candles, etc… maybe a fancy gourmet pasta if she likes to cook? You can bring it to the event tomorrow – that’s what I’m doing!
Post # 14
My Maid/Matron of Honor and cousin (also a BM) hosted my shower last weekend, for my Maid/Matron of Honor I found a really cute bracelet on etsy to get her with her children’s names engraved on it and for my cousin I found a really nice frame that said “cousins” on it and put in a pic of the two of us. Both LOVED their gifts. (I splurged a little on my Maid/Matron of Honor because she put everything together from FL for this MI party and thought of everything!) Have a great time at your shower! Oh and one tip, make sure your dress is long enough when you sit down so that you’re not flashing your hoo-ha to everyone seated in front of you! LOL!
Post # 15
From the Post Institute… Peggy Post *Wedding Etiquette*
THANK YOU TO HOSTS – You should of course thank them. It is also a nice idea to give them a thank you gift. It needn’t be elaborate – an arrangement of flowers delivered before or after the wedding or event is a suitable token of appreciation. You could also buy them tickets to an upcoming concert if they like music, or take them out to lunch or dinner if time permits.
Your card with flowers or a small gift can read simply “with thanks and love” or “what a wonderful shower” or “thank you so much for giving shelter and respite to Frank & Judy” (in the case of someone putting up out-of-town Wedding Guests). Later you can send a heartfelt thank-you note that mentions the Host’s kindness at length.
NOTE (Added by me, lol the Etiquette Snob) – Even thanking a Host should not be “inconvenient” to her and her plans. So… although flowers are a nice gesture the day of, they really aren’t that great to show up with, because it means someone… usually the Hostess (or if not her, then she has to impose on a Guest) has to put them into a vase etc. Which is WHY the Post Institute says to send them in advance or afterwards… Bringing wine can also prove awkward. The gift is meant for the Hostess… if you bring wine she may feel obligated to serve it (especially so if the event is having wine served already… this is particularly noticeable when one goes to Dinner at someone’s house… a Guest who brings wine, should never be surprised if a Host doesn’t serve it… as it may not coincide with what the Host has planned… ie you brought white wine, and they are serving beef with a planned special bottle from their wine cellar).
Therefore, much better to bring along something small but personal as a Thank You Gift to the event and as @MsMindle: says give it to your Host when you have a private moment (leaving perhaps?). Important never to embarrass someone by giving them a gift in front of others (when you nothing for anyone else in the room… another reason things are ok to do the next day)
After the event, you can follow up with one of the other choices of Flowers, Wine, Gift Basket, Theatre Tickets, etc… and finally with a very gorgeous Thank You Note where you write a good more than just “Thanks”… really show your appreciation for the event (this is when you could make the preliminary plans for a Lunch Date for example… then follow up with a phone call to set the date). And so it goes with one’s social calendar… a sort of back and forth. It really can be quite civilized and a nice way to settle into married life (part of the reason all this Etiquette stuff exists, it is a foot in the door for a New Bride and Her Hubby as a couple… to get them established in the community)
Hope this helps,
Post # 16
Thank for this post ladies! I was JUST thinking, oh, crap, I never figured out what to get my aunt. I’ve been thinking about it the past couple weeks but couldn’t come up with anything so I just forgot :/ My shower is tomorrow, so I’m thinking a bottle of wine and flowers would be great. I was thinking maybe earrings, but I don’t know if that would be too much.
Maybe a bottle of wine and the earrings, and then send flowers a few days later? You ladies were a lifesaver!