(Closed) My First Shower Ever Is This Weekend!! Gift for the hostess??

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
1221 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I ordered a cute appetizer plate set from CB2 (oliver!) for the Bridesmaid or Best Man who hosted my shower and had it sent to her house with a thank you for hosting note about a week after the shower.  Kind of like what @This Time Round was saying about not inconveniencing the hostell – I didn’t want her to mess with putting anything away while she was busy setting up and hosting.


Post # 18
378 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

definitely thought from the Headline that you’d never taken a shower.. had to read it again.




Post # 19
7941 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@HereWeGo:  I brought the gifts to the shower and gave it to them after everyone had left.

Post # 20
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Breen86:  I think those are the cutest!  Thanks for the reminder, I’m about to order one for my Maid/Matron of Honor =)

Post # 21
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I had my first shower ever last month too, thrown by my Mother-In-Law and two SIL’s. As i wasn’t having a bridal party (and therefore bridal party gifts for them) i made gift bags with nice things in them like candles, incense, lip gloss, imported chocolate etc.. they loved them!

Post # 22
1875 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Definitely get a thank you gift for the hostess.  For my hometown shower I gave my hostesses cute little teacup/coffee mug planters and filled them with chocolates, mini bottle of wine, flower seeds, and some home-made bath salt.  And I gave them a thank you card. I did this right after the shower after all the other guests had left.  For my local shower (which hasn’t happened yet), 2 of my BMs are hosting and I got them each cute shirts I thought they’d like from The Limited. 

Your mom doesn’t need to bring anything nor would you need to bring anything FOR the shower. =)

Have fun!

Post # 23
1094 posts
Bumble bee

@Dancensations:  Bless the Post Institute! They always get their advice almost right. It’s the “almost” that almost always drives me crazy!

Send flowers before the event, with sufficient time such that, as

View original reply
This Time Round  correctly points out, the hostess can arrange them without taking time away from her other duties. Very fragile flowers might not last if you send them on the previous day: earlier in the same day of an evening event is just fine.

If you choose to send wine, send it the day after the event. That way it is clearly being offered to the hostess for her own enjoyment, not to be consumed by her guests and possibly upset her other carefully chosen beverage menu. In fact any token gift is best sent the day after, along with your bread-and-butter note. Bringing a gift to the event may embarrass other guests who didn’t bring a hostess-gift, or embarrass the hostess who is receiving gifts in front of other people who are not receiving gifts. If you decide to bring your gift instead of sending it, tuck it into your purse where it won’t be noticed until you have a chance to give it to your hostess privately.

Post # 24
257 posts
Helper bee

Yes, you and your mom could go together on some flowers. Wine is always good too. That is odd that she didn’t respond, but maybe she wanted you to be stress free.

Post # 25
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You could always get a nice vase or candy bowl.

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