- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2016
I hope nobody minds that I’ve been posting a lot, I guess it has been a really emotional and overwhelming time for me. I have a big lack of support system in my life, and I really appreciate the encouragement I get from all of you guys.
I’ve been in the process of planning my wedding next year, since the one I was supposed to have this past May 23rd was cancelled. My Mother-In-Law ended up passing away on that day when we were supposed to get married.
It all started with a trip to Europe at the beginning of May, just my Fiance and I. We had planned to travel to London, Paris, Barcelona, and Venice. Although his mother had been battling stomach cancer for the past year and half, she felt relatively normal, and contined about her daily routines, the only real issue being that she couldn’t eat as much as she used to. Everything seemed stable and we felt comfortable leaving for our trip. Unfortunately we received a call from his mother’s doctor about halfway through, informing us that she was in the hospital not doing well and perhaps it would be best if came home early so that we could be with her. We took the next flight home. Of course his mother’s health didn’t even compare to what our plans were. Strangely we both felt extremely happy/at peace at this time because my Fiance had proposed to me the night prior to this in Paris. It was just us two under the Eiffel Tower at night and not even one other person was around. It was like literally like something from a movie… we were both overjoyed and more in love than we had ever been. We both sort of felt complete inside, like nothing was missing when we left Paris.
The next couple weeks were somewhat difficult. My Fiance was with his dad at the hospital almost every day. His mother seemed to look worse and worse, at this point losing over 50lbs from her inability to eat. It was heartbreaking to see her change physically and emotionally. She never complained about anything though and never really talked about how she felt. Although we tried to be hopeful and surround her with positivity, you could tell she was ready to let go. One time it was just her and I in the hospital room and it was Mother’s Day. She was holding the card we had got her up to her chest. She held it there and said to me that she was going to go soon; that this was the last card she would ever receive. She said thank-you. I tried to tell her we didn’t know what would happen and we needed to have faith but she just said that she felt it in her heart, that she knew.
The doctor said that she probably had about 6 weeks left before she would pass away. We decided that we would have our wedding immediately since one of the most important things to us was her being a part of it and our families to meet (mine lives in a different city). It was extremely stressful to put together a wedding in a week, but somehow everything kind of just fell into place. It would be a very small outdoor ceremony in the hospital gardens with just our immediate family. I found a dress, the men rented their suits, we had an officiant, photographer, and even decorations ready. The night before the wedding we stayed at my FI’s parents house since my family flew in from my hometown and were staying at our place. I stayed up until 4:00 am, creating my own bouquet. It was soooooo stressful and I really couldn’t believe we pulled it off. Everything was so ready.
I woke up the next morning to my Father-In-Law crying on our bedroom floor. He had received a call saying that they had tried to get my Mother-In-Law up and ready for the wedding, but it was too much stress on her body and she died. That whole day was a blur, as well as the weeks that followed with the funeral, etc.
It has been a couple months and things are starting to get back to normal but we still don’t feel the same. I don’t think my Fiance or Father-In-Law has really processed their greif at all. I haven’t processed the grief of the wedding not happening because of the circumstances. It all seems really surreal. I have started planning our wedding for next year since being married is important to my Fiance and I. I can’t help but feel so extremely sad during this time and every little detail reminds me of how she won’t be with us, and the pain of losing the wedding that we were supposed have. It’s also the loss of the experience of her being there for her son and involved in one of the most important days of both of their lives. I feel my FI’s pain all the time too. It seems like the shock of everything still lingers and dampens the excitement of our upcoming wedding. Maybe it will just take time, I don’t really know.