(Closed) My FMIL ignores me!

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think she was just trying to talk to this girl because she doesn’t see her often.  I’m sure that she didn’t mean it (since the two of you see eachother all the time).  I would talk to her about it though and tell her that you felt left out in the convversation.

Post # 4
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t think it’s ever ok to be ignored like that. I don’t care if she sees you more often, you should have been included in the convo at least somewhat.

Did you try to contribute to the conversation but were “pushed” to be silent?

Edit: Just saw your final question and YES ! They are not the CLEAVERS ! That’s for sure !

Post # 5
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Hi Iunderstand how you feel.  It’s very difficult to fit into someone elses family, especially when you’re marrying into it.  Perhaps it’s as you say because this other girl isn’t around much she feels she needs to make the effort.

What about trying to engage your Future Mother-In-Law a bit more?  Could you arrange a lunch to spend time together and talk about the wedding?  Perhaps if there were no other distractions it would help you build a relationship with her.  As for the men, they sound like they are used to their mother doing everything and don’t know how to have a friendship with a woman – I’m sure they’ll come round.  Good luck!x

Post # 7
Member
624 posts
Busy bee

How has she been with you all the other times?  You said it was odd with the family but with the FMIL? 

Mine ignores me as well…I saw her at our wedding but really haven’t spoken to her in almost a year.  She has also never asked me a question about myself- it’s always about her.  No “How are you doing?” nothing.  I was told maybe it’s best she doesn’t really know me.  She does have her mind made up and there is no changing so I think it is best she doesn’t know me.

What about bringing a book along?

EDIT: Maybe I should finish my post!  Anyways, it’s annoying as heck, odd as heck but I take it in stride I guess.  I’m just used to it and by her ignoring me I do not have to listen to her bitch and moan or gossip about everyone behind their back or listen to all her woes.  That is all she does, seriously.  Not one nice thing can come out of her mouth.  Oh and I understand the head nodding, I used to do that when she would talk to me.  For me, I’ve tried looking at the positive: no more listening to the above!

 

Post # 8
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I feel like my relationship with my Future Mother-In-Law is the same thing. She never talks to me maybe just a hello if we are at a family thing. My FI’s has a younger brother and his gf was treated like she could walk on water. Not that I think how much someone spends on a gift is a big deal but for the past 4 years my Fiance and I have been together for every christmas and birthdays she always always got his younger brothers gf a new coach purse, while one year I got a can of cashwes, another a bracelet from the clearance section of claires with the $1 red tag still on it, and so on and so on. It also kind of hurts when his mom pays for his sister, one of her friends, and his younger brothers gf(now ex) and one her friends to go to concerts with her that cost $250 a ticket and pay for everything for everyone, with never once extending an invitation, or even asking if I would like to go. Also twice a year she takes his sister and up until his brother and his gf broke up her along too for a 4 day shopping spree on her.

To top it all off now that we are planning the wedding everytime I try to go over and include her in the plans, the only things she says are oh well I don’t like that idea it’s not how we planned it for his sisters wedding, and we should redo it so that it can be the same as hers was, even though his sister and I do not get along, she has gone as far as throwing a glass at me, and now telling everyone that she is going to stand up and object at our wedding (side not his sister is not invited to anything to do with the wedding, and security will given copies of her picture) Future Mother-In-Law also sticks up for every nasty thing his sister does and says that it’s my fault for making his sis mad. Future Mother-In-Law also has only had one main concern for the wedding, what color dress she is going to wear, and that is her only concern and can’t be bothered with anything else until that is picked out. Also for out rehersal dinner she is insisting on having it at a seafood restaurant, even though seafood makes me sick and there is nothing on the menu that isn’t seafood. Trust me I know how horrible it is to feel like your Future Mother-In-Law wouldn’t even care if you fell of the face of the earth.

Post # 11
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@TG20:Well best of luck to you! I’m to the point now where I just sit there and don’t hold anything back, becuase I’ve tried for four years and I don’t think she’s really going to change, so I’m sick of walking on egg shells. Hopefully it was just an off day! If not don’t worry it’s you, it’s her! I’ve had the hardest time of feeling like my Future Mother-In-Law has some reason to hate me, and honestly I don’t understand how you could treat the person that your son is in love with and wants to start a family with I know I couldn’t!!!! <3

Post # 12
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@jedcaj:**** it’s not you! It’s her!!!! (oops typo)

Post # 14
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

You are marrying your husband, not his family. If they don’t want to talk to you, don’t feel like you have to go to any of their functions.

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