(Closed) My FMIL is driving me insane! [vent]

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@siimplycraziie: This woman is just all kind of crazy and the problem is that since the last wedding didnt go through as planned and as abrupt as it did, she cant put herself in a position to be happy or excited about whats coming up. I would say do your best to keep a smile on your face and not let her ruin the experience for you and M. This is a happy time and she needs to build a bridge and get over it.


Post # 4
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I just wanted to comment on the part where you say that she gets annoyed about you always being there whenever he goes to his family’s house. My brother is a complete and total nester. He doesn’t move wihout his girlfriend and, sometimes, I can tell that my mother wishes that she could spend more alone time with her son. Even I, on occasion, have felt the same way.  It’s not so much that you shouldn’t be there, but rather the effort that he puts in to keep the relationship with his mother and family as well.

Have you attempted to ask her to lunch or to have a one on one conversation with her? Sometimes that really helps just to allow her to see your personality outside of being on her son’s arm.

Post # 5
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

why is your Fiance giving her money?  i think you need to talk to your Fiance and see how ongoing that is because i would be pissed if my home/family was going without because he was giving money constantly to his parents for no real reason

as you have tried to include her in things and shes not reacted nicely i would just step back and treat her as an invited guest with no expectation other than she will be there for her son

going forward, i would be polite but not engage her, dont ask for her opinions, dont expect her to be warm and friendly – cold politeness

Post # 6
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

MY suggestion, keep as many of the details to yourself between now and April, if you do not want to hear her opinion. And it sounds like her opinion is only going to hurt your feelings.

My mom acts this way sometimes, there is no logical reason. I just remind myself it is not me, it’s her! And sometimes I can understand, she is under a lot of stress, othertimes, it makes no sense.

Post # 7
166 posts
Blushing bee

You poor girl.  I truly feel for you as I have a Mother-In-Law from h*ll as well.  She never liked me from the time we started dating.  I wasn’t “good enough” for him.  The difference in my Mother-In-Law and your Future Mother-In-Law, is mine stabbed me in the back more often than coming right out and saying it to me.  (Although she has said stuff directly to me).  I hate to tell you, it only gets worse once you have children.  After years of putting up with her mouth, my husband finally told her to shove it.  We have had no contact with them since then, probably about since 2002.  These last years have been so much better without her (and Darling Husband dad) in our lives.   They don’t even have anything to do with my son either (to my son’s liking).  All I can say is hang in there.  Your future hubby needs to take a stand with her.  Good luck with your wedding planning.  And I agree with the others, don’t even discuss the wedding with her.  There is no sense in allowing her to ruin your day.

Post # 9
762 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

WOW! Just WOW! My blood is boiling after reading your post. My advice to you since this woman seems to HATE everything about anything is to keep her out of your life as much as possible. What’s the point in asking for her opinion when she’s just going to make a hateful comment. I know you are excited about your wedding and want to share all of your planning ideas, but the more you keep quiet about things, the better off you will be. It’s a shame that things can’t be normal, I feel sorry that you have to deal with a person like that. All I can say is start putting your foot down now, because it won’t get any better down the road, especially when you and Fiance have kids. There is something wrong with her mentally, her behavior towards you and Fiance is totally uncalled for. What does the rest of FI’s family think? Also, what does your family think?

Post # 10
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

You might know about my own crazy Mother-In-Law and wow, does yours ever remind me of mine. I have a comment but might get flamed for it: My Darling Husband also lso had “debt” to his parents for a car loan from years and years ago. Their wedding present to us was eliminating that debt. But just before they did, Darling Husband gave them $1500 towards it just 2 months before our wedding! I go through life saying “in-laws didn’t contribute to our wedding”. They think they did. I think “I was not in the picture when you were irresponsible enough to let your son buy a car he couldn’t afford! And you better believe, as his wife, I wouldn’t let my hard earned paychecks go to you, anyway, so thanks for the ‘gift’ of relieving his debt!!!”

I feel for you. Ignore the hell out of her. She’s a witch, so your Wizard of Oz theme (love it btw!) is very appropriate 🙂

Post # 11
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

To Just Squeeze’s point, stick a witch hat on her at your wedding and tell her its part of the theme.  She’s a nutjob.  

Post # 12
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

OMG… sounds like you have too much stress with this nutty woman… as hard as it is just realize she has lost her mind and try not to let her ruin your day. and do what you want dont try to please her, because it is her day. she can be a crazy witch if she wants to. Good Luck my dear!

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