(Closed) My FMIL is throwing me a bridal shower with all of her friends I have never met.

posted 3 years ago in Parties
  • poll: Is this super akward?



  • Post # 31
    644 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2018

    I feel like this might happen to me… lol and they don’t speak english every well… *facepalm*

    Post # 33
    479 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

    Okay, I hope this doesn’t make a duplicate post… I made a comment, went to edit it, and then it disappeared.


    My Future Mother-In-Law and her sister are planning a bridal shower for me with the women on their side of the family.  They live in another state and probably quite a few of those invited will not be able to attend the wedding, but could travel to the bridal shower, so it’ll be nice to have a chance to meet them and celebrate a few months before the wedding.  I thought it was very kind of them to offer, and they’ve extended the invitation to my mother (who’ll be able to go with me) and grandmother (who would like to go, but for health reasons does not want to risk the travel).

    I’m getting the sense you’re more introverted by your post.  I am too!  Being in a crowd of people, especially those that I do not know, can be overwhelming where after some time, I need to get into a room by myself and rejuvenate.  The first time I met my Fiance (then-BF)’s extended family was Christmas Eve almost 2 years ago, and it was a LOT of people and I felt overwhelmed and also lonely, as my Fiance went to talk with some family he hadn’t seen in a while and left me alone, and no one talked to me… after a few hours, when we got back to his parents’ place, we went into a room by ourselves so I could unwind from the anxiety.  It was a lot.

    I know the bridal shower will be different – not necessarily in a good way, as I will be the center of attention!  But, my mom will be there, and I know my Future Mother-In-Law and her sister well enough to feel more comfortable.  Although I’m a little uncomfortable about it, I’m so appreciative of my future in-laws doing this for me. 

    My suggestion is to ask your Future Mother-In-Law if a bridesmaid, girl friend, or your mom or other female family member can attend with you?  Would that make it less awkward?

    If you’re REALLY uncomfortable with it, and the planning isn’t too far long (AKA bridal shower invites have not gone out yet), please talk to your Future Mother-In-Law about how you feel.  Make sure to say you appreciate the gesture, but you are not interested in having a bridal shower.  Not everyone has one!

    Post # 33
    22 posts

    View original reply
    nikki4983 :  Could it be she just really wants all of her friends to meet you while doing something she hopes will be nice for you? Just go and smile and be on display. Let and old lady have her celebration and you will get some nice gifts too.

    As to what to bring for her, flowers?

    Post # 34
    88 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: January 2018

    View original reply
    observer :  What observer said. You’r marrying her son. She wants to show you off. EMBRACE IT! You have a wonderful Future Mother-In-Law.  

    Take a couple of shots of tequila to calm your nerves b4 the party.

    You will glean a lot a wisdom from these older ladies. Bring your mom, she’ll love watching them make a fuss over her daughter.

    Post # 35
    4 posts
    • Wedding: September 2017

    My Mother-In-Law did this for me earlier this year.  Initially I was super uncomfortable with the whole thing (even cried to my husband about it because I HATE being the center of attention).

    However…the shower was LOVELY.  It was 95% people I didn’t know or had only briefly been introduced to before. I had a couple glasses of champage and just tried to embrace the day.  I also made sure to get my Thank You notes out super fast, as I knew that would go over well. 😉

    Hugs and good luck!

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