(Closed) My FMIL iwants to invite all her coworkers

posted 7 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Oopsie, it appears you posted under “paper” 🙂

IMO, this is a problem for your Fiance to solve, not you. He needs to grab this problem by the horns and have a heart to heart with his mom about this issue.

Post # 4
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Give her a limit as the number of people she can invite that is equal to yours and your family. If her coworkers can fit in that list then I guess thats her option, but hopefully that will force her to concentrate on family and close friends.

We did it so my fiance and I have 35 people, his family has 35, and my family has 35. Anyone over that we had to discuss, my mom invited a few more people because they are paying and the people are family.

Post # 5
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

@coffeegal85: Let her invite whom ever she likes as long as she is willing to cover the cost of the two tables, decor, invitations and food. Why not? I would explain it to her in these terms. “It will cost $157/ person that you would like over the 150 that Fiance and I can afford to cover. Please send me the names and the check, I would be glad to accomadate it. Thanks!”  

Post # 6
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Just say no. Because 16 coworkers = 32 people once you give them dates. Unless she wants to pay for them all? Honestly though, her coworkers won’t care about the two of you and will just be there for the food. Is that who you really want at your wedding?

I didn’t invite my own coworkers, let alone our parents…

Post # 7
2759 posts
Sugar bee

Oy. I’ve really never understood the mentality of inviting coworkers to your child’s wedding… unless, say, it’s a family/small business where they’ve known you for years it’s really just them coming to a party where they don’t know anyone to celebrate the marriage of a stranger. How odd!

Post # 8
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I hear ya Girl…my soon to be Mother-Inlaw can be quite pushy also!! I would def have your Fiance break the news b/c it is his Mother….that’s how I usually do things…lol! But if you are going to be the one to talk to her about it, I would just clearly tell her that your other family members plus you & your Fiance have had to cut down on the guests..so she should too! Plus if you are handling the invites & sending them out, just call her  & tell her that you are sending them out in the next day or two & give her an exact # of ppl she can invite & tell her to get back to you when she has picked. It’s your day…not hers & if you do bite your tongue & not say anything…you will regret it!! I have learned that the hard way w/ my Future Mother-In-Law over the yrs…but it has gotten better now that I do put my foot down! Sry so long…I just know what you are going through…hope it turns out okay!! 🙂

Post # 9
13012 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m sort of in the same boat.  I have a huge family, so even cutting off our guest list at immediate family/aunts/uncles/first cousins and a few very, very close family friends, my list is a lot bigger than FI’s side.  Future Mother-In-Law told a bunch of her coworkers that they were invited and they’re saving to come up for the wedding already.  I told Future Mother-In-Law they were “B” list guests for the time being, and she agreed, but when I saw her coworkers a few weeks ago, they were all talking about coming.

The way I look at it, is that it’s your wedding.  Invite who you want to be there, and fill in with her “extra” guests as you get no responses.

Good luck!

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