- 2 years ago
- Wedding: August 2019 - City, State
Your mil is nuts. Just stop telling her about things and you won’t have problems. Just don’t bring up the first look again. If she asks about it again just tell her you have it under control and then change the subject. It’s none of her business. The whole point of the first look is to have a special moment with your fiancé. Other people have nothing to do with it.
Your future mother-in-law is way, way too involved in making your decisions for you. You have given her inch after inch, and soon she will have taken a mile.
Make sure you and your future husband are on the same page about this (which may not be all that easy; she may have trained him to give in to her wishes all the time either to make her happy or to keep her from pitching a fit).
Then set some real boundaries around your marriage, the two of you inside and her outside where she belongs; and set consequences for violation of those boundaries (usually time-outs of incrasing length).
Be sure she knows she’s no longer in charge before you have a child for her to try to take over.
PS And get thee to DWIL; they will help you with this process of boundary-setting and -enforcing.
A first look is for the bride and groom and no one else. Your Future Mother-In-Law is overstepping here.
Your Future Mother-In-Law needs some fucking business of her own to mind. Yes to all of those saying to start establishing boundaries asap.
Separately, though, my husband and I did a first look (because we rode together to the wedding) and he still had a really sweet reaction to seeing me come down the aisle, even though he’d just spent the previous 2 hours with me, seeing me in all my wedding-ready glory. So she will still get to see her son’s reaction to his wife.
Uh no. We did a first look and it was OUR moment!! It’s a nice moment to see them and spend time one on one which doesn’t happen the rest of the wedding day.
Please please tell me she’s NOT going to be at the Air bnb getting ready in the morning with you and your BMs????
I second/third going to DWIL nation ASAP.
I believe that once you invite guests your wedding is no longer solely about you. But that refers to being a good host (i.e. your guests have a comfortable place to sit, are provided food and drink appropriate to the time of day, and aren’t too hot/cold/wet/etc.).
But your ceremony? And when you see your fiance/husband? Has zero to do with your guests’ comfort. That ain’t about them.
Consider it a lesson learned to be more selective about what you share with her. I would probably refrain from bringing it up again and go about your business. Don’t tell her when or where it is taking place. If she brings it up, I would either defer to your fiance and/or just promise her you two will act really surprised at the aisle so the rest of the family will never know.
I mean the whole thing is ridiculous. If you hadn’t told her, she would have never known that it wasn’t the first time you saw each other that day.
Get used to using the word “no”
Oh, hell’s no! hell-to-the-no!
There is no point of a first look with 30 strangers looking on.
No. Just no.
this is your wedding bee, not hers. Is she going to want to walk down the aisle with you next so she gets to share that special moment too? And be there on your wedding night?
Please stop telling her stuff about the wedding – she will continue to try to railroad you if you do.
This is so weird. On the part of your future mother in law.
I have never seen anyone other than the couple and photographer/videographer at a first look.