My Friend Abroad – Overseas, Pregnant, Alone… no baby shower?

posted 8 months ago in Babies
Post # 2
Member
65 posts
Worker bee

I recently participated in a virtual baby shower. The host sent an evite with the registry information, the time, and asked for everyone’s Skype name. 

 

They called everyone and we we had a group chat where we could see and hear everyone and watch my friend open gifts and show us the nursery.

 

time zones were all over the place, but it was sweet. 

Post # 3
Member
1409 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

I’m not sure about the babyshower – it could definitely work but you’ll just need to be super planned and coordinated! 

I know from doing video conferences at work it gets kinda wonky trying to follow a conversation with so many people, but even if you do it for a few minutes so she can see all of your faces that would be nice. 

I’d suggest that she make a registry off Amazon because it’s easily accessible for people around the world, and then they can have the gifts shipped to her house in England.

Post # 4
Member
6443 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

st0dad :  it’s very thoughtful of you but as someone who didn’t get one because everyone lived too far away: she’ll live. Send her a present as you would have otherwise. Chat with her about how things are going. Just be a friend like always.  That is far more important.  She can get along without the shower. She isn’t alone and it’s not the cultural norm there. All those other women manage and so will she. 

IMO, virtual showers sound as horrid as virtual MLM parties. Snore. You don’t even get to stuff your face!

Post # 5
Member
1817 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

It’s bad enough having a party for the sole reason of being showered in gifts.

It’s incredibly rude to just send a list to people & ask them for gifts. She’s not even throwing a party!

If people want to send her something they will. You don’t ask!!

Post # 6
Member
1435 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

Usu ally a friend throws a shower. I think a Skype shower might help her loneliness if you throw it. But gifts need to get there first. I suggest group shipping them. Insure the box. Everyone chip in on shipping. 

 

If she can fly home, then that’s even better.

Post # 7
Member
776 posts
Busy bee

I don’t think a baby shower is one of those must have events. Maybe I’m biased because honestly I’d prefer not to even have one but having a virtual one is weird and forcing it imo

Post # 8
Hostess
1727 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

We moved for my husband’s job to an area where we didn’t know anyone when I was about 7 weeks pregnant. Aside from a small shower thrown by DH’s office, we won’t have a shower. 

I was pretty sad about this. I realized it wasn’t so much the shower itself that I wanted, though. It was my loving community of female friends and relatives – the ladies who would be hosting and attending a shower if we were living close to home. So I understand how your friend feels, I think. 

Instead of trying to organize a virtual shower, maybe you could help arrange regular phone or Skype “dates” between the mom to be and the girlfriends she’s missing. And if people want to send her gifts, they will. 

Post # 9
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Yep showers are new here and most women don’t have them. 

She can do a list if she’d like gifts, or fly home for a visit and have an early one. 

But TBH the best thing your friend can do is sign up for an NCT class. They are birth prep classes but the main thing anyone gets out of it is a group of friends having babies at the same time who live locally. Lots of support and people to go for coffee with during and after mat leave. I’m still in touch with my group (2 years on) and a few of us are into second babies now too.

Post # 10
Member
762 posts
Busy bee

Twizbe :  my friends are all going to pregnancy yoga/Pilates as well! Seems to be all the rage, and same idea – great place to bond with other girls in same position

Post # 11
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

For first babies a big thing is finding your mates for maternity leave. A year is a long time and depending one where you live you might not know anyone else in the same situation. We live in London suburbs and I didn’t know any other mums until I did NCT. butternutter :  

Post # 12
Member
8173 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Goodness OP from your title l thought she was literally alone and abandoned in a desert or something.

England is not some sort of wasteland you know, and l think your friend will make friends and manage  very nicely if she goes to ante natal yoga etc/groups. I would just send normal presents and maybe Skype etc

 

 st0dad :  

Post # 13
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Yeah – I was trying to ignore that implication in the title … England is not the back of beyond (says the pregnant Brit) elderbee :  

Post # 14
Member
1575 posts
Bumble bee

Just do a cute Skype date and arrange to have balloons and a few prezzies and maybe cupcakes delivered on the day of.

Post # 15
Member
1888 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

My cousin was recently stationed in Japan and we did a skype shower. But we all got together in the US in a room and had the traditional shower. She opened presents that she had recieved and her sister opened some in the room that were not shipped there yet and then she boxed them all up and shipped them. It was actually really nice! 

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