(Closed) My friend copies everything I do… now THIS was the last straw…

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 46
Member
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2002

Tell her you value her as a friend because she is her own person l with her own individual ideas.  Then explain the things that make you feel like she isn’t being her true self.  I agree it’s creepy, she may not realize it.

Post # 47
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

I would totally be a brat. I would start telling her we are booking cruises and trips across the world in a heartbeat. I would swap a family members car for a week, and tell her we bought it. I would just be curious as hell to see how far it can go. If she is gunna be your doppleganger, she better have the wallet to back up her new obsession. 

Post # 48
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Yeah omg thats so weird! lol thats what kids do. I mean me and my friends copy SOME of the same things cause we have the same likes and styles. But if they copied my engagement ring!? Hell no. That’s something special and unique just for you.. I would tell her nicely that you don’t mind some things she copies but when it comes to special things like that…just please don’t lol thats a step too far where it just becomes irritating.

Post # 49
Member
606 posts
Busy bee

anonforthisbee:  that is so creepy but at the same time immitation is the best form of flattery? You have amazing taste obviously. 

Or start doing things just like her. OR things she would never do.

Post # 50
Member
606 posts
Busy bee

fluffykaiju:  exactly this. I would do the brat thing too. “We are thinking about travelling around Europe for a month. We are just going to pick a random date and go. It is the most romantic idea ever. Bye!”

Post # 51
Member
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

anonforthisbee:  That is psychotic.

Have you talked to her about it?  If she’s a good friend I would bring it up.

If that doesn’t work, just start lying about where you bought the things she’s asking about.

Post # 52
Hostess
3831 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Are you sure she’s actually copying you? I mean, several of my friends asked where I got my hair done and go to my stylist. She specializes in bayalage ombre, so a lot of us have the same hair style/similar color. Most of my friends shop at the same places, and I don’t think it’s weird to have clothes from the same places. My best friend and I accidentally bought the exact same dress more than once and we just laugh about it. I may be a little sensitive to this because a former friend lost it over me getting a similar ring as hers, when I was not copying her, we just had similar taste (granted, it’s not the same exact ring). If you like a common style, I think you can expect at least one of your friends to have a nearly identical ring as you at some point. One of my friends got engaged recently and has a ring that’s the exact same style as mine, but roung, six-prong solitaire settings are about as common as they get and I don’t think it’s something to get worked up about.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by  missinthecity.
Post # 53
Member
2325 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Ruby Princess

I would ask her, “seriously, what in the actual fuck are you doing?” and “staaaap it”

Post # 54
Member
9588 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

lesbimarried:  that sounds circular.. doing things she does, but she only does things you do. lol

In general, I do think that’s creepy.. and while I giggle at the idea of you sending her on cruises all over the US.. the reality is if she only copies things you ACTUALLY do (i.e. she’d only copy a cruise after you got back and showed pictures of your cruise)… living life for someone else would be incredibly stressful, and not worth it… just so you what, you get to see how crazy she is?  

Stop telling her where you buy things, where you get your hair did, etc.  Just use the good old “Oh, I can’t recall” answer and move on.  The hair thing.. meh, millions of people have the same hair color.  I mean in context I agree, totally creepy, but not worth changing your hair color just so you can differentiate from her.  The ring thing is also really annoying, but unless you’re willing to change your ring.. there isn’t anything you can do.  If it doesn’t let up… is she really a friend worth keeping, despite the stress this behavior is causing you?

Post # 55
Member
44 posts
Newbee

Stop telling her your ideas, where you get your clothes, or other styles. If you have certain outfits you definitely don’t want her to copy, don’t wear them around her and don’t let her see them. Don’t tell her your wedding plans.

Sometimes people copy. That’s life. Sometimes it’s bc they have similar taste, sometimes they just like your ideas, sometimes they’re just obsessed with you. Either way, not really much you can do other than control how much you let her see.

Post # 56
Member
567 posts
Busy bee

anaivanava:  Best comment EVER, I love Lifetime movies lol

Post # 57
Member
1711 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

If you are close friends, just be up front with her and ask if she knows she is being a little creepy. Most people mean well, and I’m sure she just hasn’t figured out her own style yet. Maybe take her shoping and help her pick out nice clothes that aren’t the same as yours? 

Post # 58
Member
2777 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I once had a friend like this. 

All I can say is start lying. Not just in the where you get your things dept but:

“Oh wow you changed your hair color! But I loooooooved the previous color! It made your complexion glow! I couldn’t pull that color off at all, it would totally clash/wash me out/highlight my flaws/make my features more stern. I mean the new one looks good on you and all but the other color made you look extra beautiful, ya Know?”

“oh your rings! We’re ring twins now! I always envisioned you getting a pear/oval/cushion/whatever you don’t wear because it would highlight how slim your fingers are! But of course I love this because this is what I have! You could totally pull off a fancy shape though! Not me, I’m too conservative/pushover and my Darling Husband chose it and I couldn’t say no/whatever”

“Oh those pants!! They look perfect on you! Now I’m never going to be able to wear mine again because now I can see how they just emphasize asses/thighs/ankles/waists and I don’t have YOURS!”

“Oh that shirt! I love how our styles are similar but then I see you wearing something that I’ve never seen on anyone else and I just admire it so much. Where’d you get it?!”

In My Humble Opinion making her work for your approval by being different will work a lot better (cuz she might find her own style) than just telling her that she’s creepy and why are you wearing my hand me downs and wtf is wrong with you. Shaming someone never works but positively reinforcing them does.

 

Post # 59
Member
224 posts
Helper bee

One of my work friends tried to copy my clothes — she bought the exact same clothes that I have. 

While I found it flattering, I also found it annoying because we worked in the same office and there was always this worry that we will rock up in the same clothes. 

The problem solved itself when she realized my clothes look very different on her because we have different body shapes. I did take her shopping a few times though to show her where I shop and tried to help her find her own style. 

Post # 60
Member
1543 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

fluffykaiju:  I KNOW RIGHT!? i would do the exact same thing!!!

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