(Closed) My friend copies everything I do… now THIS was the last straw…

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 61
Member
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

To be honest I’d distance myself a bit… Before she decided the next step was to wear my skin. 

Post # 62
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Oh my gosh I have a friend like this!! No one understands how insanely frustrating it is and every time I try to talk to my mom or Fiance about it they just say it’s a compliment! No it’s freaking not, it’s weird. my friend and I us d to work together, last winter I had bought a new pretty pricey coat and wore it to work she then starts telling me how she’s allllways wanted one and that day at lunch time went out and bought the same one in the same colour, and then it just kept happening, sandals, pants, tops, hair, boots. My Fiance and I bought a new truck last summer and literally 3 days later her and her boyfriend bought a new one too, I don’t know if it’s a “keeping up with the jone’s” kind of thing or if they just need other people to do something first in order to pull the trigger and do it themselves but it drives me crazy, and then – I know I only get one wedding dress – but mine has a detail that a few dresses have but not a whole lot, she just got engaged and went to a wedding expo where you could try on dresses and of course the dress that she loooved had that exact same detail. To someone else they probably think I’m being petty but when this person is copying everything you do even the smallest of things will drive you nuts. I feel you girl. 

 

I started being honest, she got the same colour of lulu sweater as me so I got a different colour and sold the other one and she asked “why aren’t you wearing your grey one.” And I straight up said ” because I don’t want us to have the same colour and wear it at the same time.” 

Post # 63
Member
1838 posts
Buzzing bee

anonforthisbee:  Yeah, there is a point at which it starts to get creepy. This happened to me with a co-worker of mine. First it was clothes, then it was shoes, then she showed up wearing my glasses … even though she doesn’t wear glasses! Not sure what you can do but ignore it, though. 

Post # 64
Member
4026 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

sosojamie:  omg I love your skirt! Where did you get it???…..that is the ugliest effing skirt I’ve ever seen. 

Post # 65
Member
5916 posts
Bee Keeper

As much as I LOL’d at the Mean Girls quote 🙂  this can turn from harmless to creepy, it’s such a thin line sometimes you can’t even pinpoint the moment when it crossed over from being flattering to annoying and then annoying to creepy. In my case, however, I can’t pinpoint when it exactly it went from flattering to annoying, but I can definitely pinpoint where it turned creepy. My former friend/ co-worker not only copied me and openly envied me and complimented me to the point it became embarrassing, but she acted like I had this awesomely charmed life, which isn’t true….but she said to me one day that if I died she would marry my Fiance (boyfriend at the time) and it would be okay if he kept pictures of me out etc….I’m not often rendered speechless but I was beyond speechless and creeped out and, for this and additional reasons, I don’t have contact with her anymore. Part of me has even worried that she’ll hear we’re getting married and expect an invite (even though we haven’t spoken in ages) and become vindictive when she doesn’t get one. She seriously gives me chills & I don’t spook that easy.

Post # 66
Member
71 posts
Worker bee

RobbieAndJuliahaha:  Oh my god. I feel like a restraining order wouldn’t be out of the question there, lol! Who the hell says that kind of thing about someone else’s SO?!

Post # 67
Member
1812 posts
Buzzing bee

Echoing the Single White Female creepiness. You’d better say a little something before she puts a stiletto heel in your FI’s eye. :/

Post # 68
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2007

anonforthisbee:  I know some bees think that you should feel flattered by being copied (no matter from coworkers, cousins or close friends), but there should be a line that cannot be crossed or flattery becomes downright horror

I know you said you love ur friend and she’s wonderful (maybe she’s got a bright and caring personality…?), if you would like to keep the friendship DEFINITELY talk to her. If she does not think there’s something wrong and continue her way…I would keep my distance.

If I had a friend like that (you can copy my shoes, my bags, my clothes BUT my e-ring and w-band???), I wouldn’t feel flattered I would get nightmares…

Post # 69
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

If you knew all this time that she was a carbon copy of you, then I wouldn’t have told her all the details about my ring! 

Post # 70
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Next she’s gonna copy your wedding and honeymoon. She’s gonna make sure that she gets pregnant at the same time as you. She’s gonna dress her kids in the same clothes as yours, and enrol them in the same school as yours. Unless you confront her, it will be a never ending cycle my dear.

Post # 71
Member
2181 posts
Buzzing bee

If you care about her, talk to her. Try to find out, or at least pose the question to her, why is she copying you. Depending on how strongly you feel, distance yourself from her after talking to her. She may not realize how she is coming across or why she is doing this and might need some time to figure it all out. 

Post # 74
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

 

anonforthisbee: Clothes, eh I can understand that. But I would be a little creeped out after she copied my hair to the exact shade and a really peeved if she copied my ring. You got that as a symbol for YOUR relationship.. If she already has it done, I doubt she would have it changed again, so talking to her probably won’t do much about the ring. But maybe explain you think it’s odd how she consistently copies you and you are a little put off about her copying your ring, and maybe she’ll stop doing things like that in the future?

Post # 75
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

I would be livid about the tattoo and E-ring! Hair styles and clothes come and go, but those are permanent. The fact that she already had a ring but changed it to match yours is just on another level.

If you value your relationship I would sit down with her and have an open and honest convo about it, and mention that it’s happened many times and you don’t mind you end up wearing the same sweater but the ring has really bothered you. I would be candid about when she asks you where you got things, ie: “I don’t want to tell you where I got these booties bc I don’t want you to go out and buy the same ones.” If she’s reminded from time to time that she does this and it’s annoying, she might stop.

Good luck!

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