Post # 1
We didn’t have a bridal party but I had a friend that kind of acted as an unofficial bridesmaid. she didn’t have to stand for me or do anything – we just decided to give her the “perks” of being a Bridesmaid or Best Man. She’s my longest friend but we only see each other about once a year now since we live so far apart. Note: She didn’t have to travel to the wedding, only 30 min by car. We mostly have a gchat relationship now. Things she didn’t say thank you for that we took care of:
Dinner: She wanted to meet me for dinner a few days before the wedding so I met up with her. She brought along a guy she had been seeing for about a month (not the same guy as her date for the wedding) and when the check came I decided to pick it up. Neither one of them said thank you.
Hair/Makeup – $170 and my mom cut in and said “No X, we’re paying for you.” She just looked at me and smiled and clapped but didn’t say thank you to my mom. THAT pissed me off and even though we told her there were no add ons like lashes and airbrush she still chose to add on resulting in a higher bill.
Gift – I gave her a silver bracelet with her name engraved on it. No thank you. Just “it’s so pretty.”
This girl’s mom is really nice and always tells me how polite I am and even mentions the fact that I always say thank you. It’s like she can’t believe people are cognizant enough of things to say thank you. It’s like…yea….why didn’t you teach your daughter to do the same if you’re so impressed by it?
Cities will not crumble, this is not a big issue in the grand scheme of things but I’m just really, really put off by it and I keep reminding myself I didn’t do these things for her because I want praise so I should just get over it but come on – how are you comfortable watching someone’s mother pay for your expensive hair and makeup and NOT say thank you? I guess she’s just a taker and I need to stop offering to pay for so much.
Post # 3
@FleeSircus: I’d be saying “You’re welcome” at every chance I get. IF she questions it I’d be frank and tell her “You never thank me for anything so I pretend I hear it so I don’t feel so taken advantage of.”
Post # 4
@FleeSircus: yea dont offer to pay for her anymore if shes not appreciative of it.
Post # 5
@Daizy914: Yea – I won’t.
It was all so concentrated. The bracelet was purchased about a month ahead of time so I was going to give her that anyway because….what am I going to do with a bracelet with her name on it? Lesson learned.
Post # 6
Wow your friend lacks basic manners. Stop spending your money on this person please, 3 year olds know better.
Post # 7
@Chrysoberyl: Yes!! This. OP she seems like a little brat and I would have no problem saying this to her. Some people don’t even realise hwo rude they are being until they are straight up TOLD!
Post # 8
@FleeSircus: i cant stand people like that. I was friends with someone like this and it was a combination of things that led to an end to our friendship but not being appreciative was one of them. I did everything for hwr, i picmed up her dry cleaning her packages, i even went as far as covering for her when she cheated on her bf…yup…abd ive made it clear that im not a fan of her doing bc her bf was a great guy. We went to Ireland and my other best friends parents took the liberty of showing us around and took us on a few excursions on her parents expense and never said thank you. And last, what really blew my mind, was when we went to their house in Ireland and they cooked us dinner. She didnt say thank you and said the coffee sucked.
So you might be better off just limiting your contact. I have no time or patience for people like that
Post # 9
@FleeSircus: Sounds like she expects these things, or feels entitled. I’d stop doing/paying anything… Say to the waiter “oh, we will split the check”, etc.
Post # 10
- Wedding: October 2013 - Dalhousie Castle
I would say lesson learned. Just never give her anything else.
Sound like she was raised with bad manners and probably has a sense of entitlement. I would have said she was just a bit thoughtless, except she clearly took advantage by allowing you to pay for the meal of someone you’ve never met and by adding on extras for your mum to pay for. Ugh!
Post # 11
That would be really frustrating and infuriating after a while. At the same time, maybe she just lacks self awareness (as well as basic manners). Maybe you can gently/jokingly call her out on it.
Post # 12
I wold have said something before now. I mean she just didn’t get like this, she had to be like this growing up with you. I would have handed her something and said your welcom…. and now is the time you say Thank you.
That would piss me off. Either that or this stupid kid on my floor at school never said thankyou. My mom sent us cookies and I didn’t give him any, only him. He asked why and I said …pfff you never say thank you so w hat’s the point.
Post # 13
That would bug me as well. Knowing me, I’d mention it to her, as well as stop paying for things.
Post # 14
I will admint (shyly sp?) that I have become aware of that fact in myself… Not so much for things like you described, but my MIL recently started letting me know with little things like if I styled me hair differently or if I put on an unusual color I don’t normally wear, she’ll say, “oh your hair looks good when you style it like that, or I like that color on you, etc…” and out of habit I have to critique myself, I will just respond… “I know, but…” and she has said almost every time, “lol no, you’re supposed to say Thank You” I’m not put off by it or anything cause she is not snarky about it or anything, mabe she just doesn’t realize that she is doing it? Cause I certainly had no idea, and I’m glad she finally pointed it out, and brought it to my attention.
Post # 15
ha!! people like that are so annoying!
My fiance’s brother was dating a girl that we all liked a lot, but she would never say thank you when anyone complimented her. It cracked me up!
One day they were heading out to prom… someone complimented her dress and she goes, “I know! It’s so elegant!” I had to cough so I wouldn’t laugh. I honestly think that some people just aren’t raised with manners. She was a nice girl but honestly didn’t know how to say thanks.
Post # 16
Ugh, my brother does this, too! We go out to dinner often with his and his family, and I always pay because they are having a hard time, they never ever say thank you.
I always say thank you when someone pays for my meal, or does something nice. I never tell my boss thank you every time he throws us a pizza party [which is once a month], it’s something that he’s been doing forever, but he doesn’t NEED to do it.