(Closed) My “friend” got engaged….this will be an awkward year

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I think it’s great that you’re being the bigger friend by congratulating her, even though I know it was awkward! Sounds a little childish to me that she would go weeks without speaking to you just because you wouldn’t allow her to move in with you and your husband.  The economy is tough and the extra expense of another person in the household could be a lot. I’m sure no one will think you’re a bad friend. I hope everything works out for you!

Post # 4
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Awe! I feel ya – it’s a shitty situation!!!!

I think you did the right thing by congratulating her and I hope she gets over the bullshit and includes you in the wedding too!!!!!

Post # 5
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I completely get where you’re coming from.  Situations like this make me really uncomfortable too.  It’s so hard when you’ve had a major issue (and know that you were not in the wrong) and then you have to deal with all the awkwardness afterward.  Hopefully she finally ‘mans up’ and invites you to showers and whatnot.  Who knows, maybe it could end up better than you think!  I think it’s good you’ve been the bigger person and avoided gossiping to your mutual friends.

Post # 6
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee

You definitely are being the bigger person. Since everything is so fresh sure, things will be awkward for a while. Who knows what will happen but I wouldn’t try too hard to repair the friendship. She needs to put in a little work too, it’s not as if this was all your doing.

Just continue to carry on as you have been. If she talks to you she talks to you. Let her come to you the next time around. Hopefully she’ll grow up but if she doesn’t it’s not a big deal. She doesn’t seem like a good friend to begin with and having friends like her just cause more unncessary drama that you don’t need in your life.

Very recently I had a falling out with a friend. Basically decided to cut her off for being a crappy, flakey person and stopped talking to her after she burned me big time. The hard part is that she’s mutual friends with my best friend and Maid/Matron of Honor. The funny thing is my ex-friend isy not cognizant of her behavior toward others and thought she hadn’t done anything wrong. Won’t go into too much details but ex-friend is rather self-absored. Our falling out has effected my MOH’s relationship with her b/c she’s been rather cold to her. My guess is that ex-friend thinks Maid/Matron of Honor is on “Team Bunny22”, which is rather ridiculous. Maid/Matron of Honor and I are mature adults who don’t think in those kinds of terms and her friendship with this person does not bother me at all. 

Guess my point is you can’t control what she’s going to do or what she may say to friends. All you can do is just continue on your merry way, be yourself and be a good friend to everyone else. 🙂

 

Post # 7
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Yes, you were definitely the bigger person by sending that text. Hopefully she realizes that. And hopefully she will come-to and realize that SHE was the one who was out of line by insisting that it’s fine for her to just move in with you adn your new husband. But if not, good riddence to her and her crazy demands, seriously!

Post # 8
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I read your prior posts & I once too was in the same situation as you.

Almost 5 years ago my high school best friend called me one day to tell me “I no longer want to be your friend.”  (And no we weren’t 5 years old)  Her excuses were that our group of girls all had “serious” boyfriends & I was the only one that didn’t.  And when I did want to go out all I ever wanted to do was party & find guys.  Well hello I was single & 20 years old!?!?   No I was not desperate & to be perfectly honest I could have had a “serious” boyfriend if I wanted.  But I didn’t want to.  I was living an independant life & loving it. 

A year later she got engaged & I too was the bigger person & sent her a congratulations.   I got no response from her & also no invitation to the wedding.  I have not talked to her since & people from high school are still shocked to find out we no longer talk.  In the end I now have girlfriends that love me for me, a wonderful boyfriend who I love & a family I wouldn’t trade.  Selfish, petty girls are a waste of time & always remember….Karma is a bitch! 

Post # 10
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Um, i think a simple “She’s mad at me b/c my husband and i wouldn’t give her free room and board for an indefinite amount of time” would cover the questions (if your other mutual friends did have questions). You never know – maybe she hit them up after you.

Post # 11
Member
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I think you needed to take the choice you then took.

But with that choice come the consequences (ie the awkwardness) and you need to put up with them because everything comes with pros and cons.

I wish you an easy time 🙂

Post # 12
Member
572 posts
Busy bee

OMG! Ive been throught this too. The best thing for you to do is be the bigger person. It is going to annoy you for a bit but in the end you know that you did nothing wrong to deserve what she did.

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