My friend got proposed…..AT MY WEDDING!!!!!!!

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
  • poll: Would you be upset or not?
    Yes, it's my day and they have 364 other days to propose : (466 votes)
    90 %
    No, it didn't take away from the wedding and they are my friends : (51 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 166
    Member
    306 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    When the time comes that your at your friends wedding reception, take the time to grab the mike and tell everyone your pregnant.  Then she’ll see what it’s like to have her thunder stolen.

    Post # 167
    Member
    45 posts
    Newbee

    I’m so sorry but I had to laugh at the comment about Maggie almost wearing white to this wedding. My mother in-law wore a white pants suit to my wedding. I had to toss all the pictures of us standing next to my husband. Because we got married at Lake Tahoe and had the reception at her house she also took it upon herself to order my wedding cake without getting my input. If she wasn’t so dang clueless I would still be miffed 16 years later. The thing is, she’s still clueless and I’m still happily married to her son. Perhaps these friends of yours have served their purpose. So they feel it’s necessary to continue planning their wedding without you. More power to them. Anyone with half a brain can applaud you for taking the high road and doing everything you could to save the friendship. Honestly, I think the best thing you can do for yourself at this point is to forgive them and choose to remain positive and focus on the positive aspects of your wedding. Obviously I wasn’t there but I’m willing to bet that you looked way more beautiful than she did and by not pitching a fit you showed way more class. If the friendship is in fact over that’s on them. Have a glass of wine or a piece of chocolate and don’t look back unless you’re willing to smile. It might also help to google “wedding disasters” just for the fun of it. Just saying.

    Post # 168
    Member
    236 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2018 - Pantagis Renaissance

    Unless my SO and I agree with the proposal, this is inappropriate. I’d be super angry

    Post # 169
    Member
    905 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 1983

    Send them a bill for half the costs of the reception.

    Post # 170
    Member
    433 posts
    Helper bee

    0queenbee0 :  Dont be sad, you are not shut out because of something you did, it clearly is because she feels threatened that you might announce something at their wedding and steal their thunder as they did. she would hate it if someone else did the same thing to her even though she keeps saying that it makes your wedding even more special. Let it go, whats the point of having such frens! If any one asks you if you are coming, I think you should be upfront and say exactly what it is that she has not responded back to any of your emails else god knows what story she will tell the entire crew. Time to make new frens 🙂
    and do not follow up, it’s time for you to give cold shoulder.

    Post # 171
    Member
    6087 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2016

    It’s so sad that you lost a friend (even if that friend turns out to have been an inconsiderate passive aggressive asshole.) What goes around definitely comes around and I assure you, she’s going to have a chance to face herself and her behavior in the very near future.

    You’re better off not having them in your life. But, all in all, I’m sorry that you’re sad about the situation.

    My petty wish is that one day you get to hear, in detail, the juicy story of how karma slaps both of them.

    Post # 172
    Member
    50 posts
    Worker bee

    It’s one thing to plan a wedding proposal with the actual bride(s)/groom(s), but to propose without having told anyone, and saying that it made your day more special is so cocky and selfish. I’d be livid if I were you.

    Post # 173
    Member
    211 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2018

    iliketurtles82 :  I agree with you, but not with the outlandish posters about “being selfish”….i think there is somewhere in between being estatically happy for your friend and ending a friendship that this belongs. Personally, i think that a planned proposal has zero place at a wedding, unless the plan was approved before hand by bride and groom. If it is truly an overwhelming spontaneous feeling, it should be done in private and personally, if it was me, i wouldnt even tell anyone until after the wedding. If someone pulled this at my wedding I would be pissed. Likely not end a friendship sort of pissed (especially since the girl obviously didnt know it was going to happen) but I deserve a sincere apology pissed. Its like wearing white to a wedding but WORSE. So many other days to do it, why choose that one day?

    Post # 174
    Member
    343 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2017 - Wedgewood Tower Club

    I may be in the minority here, but I’d ask them politely yet firmly to leave. Either that, or send them a bill for half of their very expensive engagement party…

    Post # 175
    Member
    762 posts
    Busy bee

    I’ve been following this post and see that you don’t want to look at your wedding video. Maybe you can have someone edit out the proposal? I can’t imagine how angry I would be if this happened to me, but it doesn have to ruin your wedding video which is something you should be enjoying. I wonder what they would if someone proposed at their reception? Either way, I’d see what you can do about that video to make it so you can comfortably watch it.

    Post # 176
    Member
    1103 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    That videographer has some nerve..post his handle so we can flood his page.

    Post # 179
    Member
    156 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    OP, I am sorry that your friend decided to be nasty about it. It sounds like you attempted to take the high road despite the sucky situation, and she was petty in return. She’s only thinking about herself. You’re better off without her in your life.

    Could you and your husband get involved in something in your local city? My fiancé and I do a social sports league. We play dodgeball. We’ve met all of our local friends through that (and then other friends through the dodgeball friends). Our local chapter has all kinds of sports — even bowling. It might be something to look into!

    Post # 180
    Member
    142 posts
    Blushing bee

    0queenbee0 :  I had a friend beginning of this year end our friendship in a similar manner. 

    Sometimes no matter how hard you try to apologize you just can not win. (I Lost a friendship over 10 years due to me ‘liking” fb posts to another girl my friend had a falling out with. (both of these girls were still friends on fb and were even traveling across the US to go to a music festival together) yet somehow me “liking” these fb posts meant that I was choosing sides, even tho I said I was not and apologized (and even deleted the girl I was “liking” the posts to) [We are 27 years old and this is how she acted]

    Some people are just extrememly immature, fake, and petty, there’s nothing you can do about it. These people usually end up with next to no friendships due to the bridges they burned, AND assuming they can even manage to maintain a relationship with a Significant Other (–Seriously this is shocking to me—those relationships will suffer as well) 

    Go out with your Husband and pick up a hobby together, or If you are more outgoing than I am -Pick up a hobby to do on your own. 

    I scuba dive with my SO and since hes an instructor, it forces me to be more social and talk to others and make new dive buddies while he teaches. (I dont scuba dive often due to work and school) but so far I’ve met A LOT of awesome and mature people! I’m not sure where you live, but I would look into a local quarry! 

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