(Closed) My friend got proposed…..AT MY WEDDING!!!!!!!

posted 4 years ago in Engagement
  • poll: Would you be upset or not?

    Yes, it's my day and they have 364 other days to propose

    No, it didn't take away from the wedding and they are my friends

  • Post # 181
    212 posts
    Helper bee

    Horrible as it is, it sounds like losing this friendship is the best thing for you. She sounds like an extremely self centred, egotistical person who just cannot wrap her head around the fact that you weren’t happy with what happened. This isn’t the making of a good friend and painful as it is, you’ll be better off without her in the end. 

    I can’t give you a quick fix for getting over the friendship – truthfully I’m still hurting over a friendship I lost a couple of years ago. The fact that your mutual friends appear to be freezing you out as well really sucks, and I know how isolating it can be when you seem to be alone where you live.

    As others have suggested, maybe see if there’s some local groups you can join either on your own or with your husband. Alternatively, if you have some people on Facebook that live nearby but you don’t see much, see if any of them are interested in a meal out or something. I sent a message out that way and had a games night with a bunch of people I have only met a few times previously. I’ve ended up with an amazing group of supportive friends as a result. It doesn’t stop the hurt from the lost friendship, but it does make it easier to handle. 

    Post # 182
    772 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    So full disclosure… I voted before I read the full story and assumed they had cleared it with you ahead of time.  You are better off without a friend who won’t even acknowledge your feelings.  I think it’s fine to disagree but she could at least acknowledge that you are allowed to be upset!  Screw them.  My advice?  Try new things to make new friends.  Go to a dance class, join a book club, invite some work friends out for drinks, volunteer for an organization you believe in.  Making friends as an adult stinks but it is definitely possible!

    Post # 183
    292 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    View original reply
    0queenbee0 :  about 6-7 years ago, I found out that someone who was supposed to my best friend had been having an online affair with my fiancé (I don’t know if it had ever been physical.  Don’t wanna know.).  I left him, and I stopped talking to all of my friends associated with her, because they knew and wouldn’t tell me.  

    So I know your pain.  And I can tell you it gets better.  Much, much better.  When you let go of the toxic people in your life, you free yourself to meet people who actually care for you, people you have things in common with, and who are there for you when you need them.

    The last 5 years of my life have been pretty amazing, mostly thanks to the people around me.

    Post # 184
    3885 posts
    Honey bee

    Thank you for the update, and I’m sorry your friend turned out to be so shitty. You took the high road and she went even more extreme. Time will heal, and as pps suggested, get out there and get involved when you feel up to it. You’ll make new friends naturally – you seem like a very good person.

    Post # 185
    3662 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

    You did what you could to save the friendship which is more than I would have done after how she behaved. Hopefully as she starts to plan her wedding and comes across various wedding related sites, she’ll see just how tasteless her proposal actually was.

    Post # 186
    1829 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    View original reply
    0queenbee0 :  ugh what a horrible friend, to be honest you have a lot more manners then i do, i would have responded to that email with some not so friendly words to her, sometimes people need to read how much of a b*tch they really are, then again its sounds like she wouldnt have cared. But good for you taking the high road. 

    As far as your other friends, i cant offer much advice, id try and make some new ones in the new city you live in, try to move past keeping so connected with your hometown life. 

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