My friend got proposed…..AT MY WEDDING!!!!!!!

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
  • poll: Would you be upset or not?
    Yes, it's my day and they have 364 other days to propose : (466 votes)
    90 %
    No, it didn't take away from the wedding and they are my friends : (51 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 76
    26 posts
    • Wedding: October 2017

    That is 100% not okay. Had he talked to you about it beforehand then it would be a wonderful surprise but this YOUR day. Not okay at all. I would be livid. 

    Post # 77
    366 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2019

    I would be alright if the guy proposing told us beforehand. But it clearly seems that he didn’t which I think wasn’t right!

    It’s your day! It should be about you and your husband and no one else!

    What the guy did was extremely rude!

    Did your friend who is your Maid/Matron of Honor at least say sorry for the fiance doing such a thing? Cos if I was the Maid/Matron of Honor, as much as I am happy, I would still very rather weird and check up on you if you are okay about all of this.

    Post # 78
    114 posts
    Blushing bee

    Yikes, I’d be very upset. I got married 2 months ago too so I’m still thinking about the wedding a lot (and a bit sad that it’s over!) and it’d be suuuuch a damper having this is a main ‘memory’ that comes to mind. Ugh, sorry bee. I don’t blame you for being stuck on this. Sending you positive vibes and hope you can try to focus on everything that made your day amazing for YOU and your NEW HUSBAND!

    Has your friend said anything to you about this? Any acknowledgment about her engagement happening at your wedding? I just feel like even if I had NO clue the proposal was happening, I’d still feel like I’d NEED to sit my friend down and explain I didn’t know and acknowledge that she may be upset

    Post # 79
    388 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: Rydges Hotel

    ELCR :  That their proposal only made the OP’s day more special. 

    Post # 81
    267 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2018

    0queenbee0 :  girl, I know it sucks to lose a friend. But she seems like a bitch & has no regard for your feelings. Cut your losses now. Sorry 🙁

    Post # 82
    157 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    That is total horse shit.

    To not even ask you guys if it is okay is wrong to begin with, but it’s so tacky!! Proposals at weddings make me gag. It’s inappropriate and takes away from the bride and groom (and the thousands they paid for THEIR wedding).

    I’d tell them it was a shitty thing to do. They have no consideration (clearly), so give them a harsh dose of reality. Ugh, I am so sorry you have to deal with this bee. They could have done it literally any other day.

    Post # 83
    833 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I don’t think I would have been mad or said anything to them about it but I do think it’s very very strange…like I would be embarassed for them.

    Post # 84
    1281 posts
    Bumble bee

    If my boyfriend took the mic and proposed at someone else’s wedding *without prior enthusiastic permission from the couple* I would be humiliated by his total self-absorption.

    I would be upset with the guy, not the girl. I’d let him know that you feel it was really out of line to coopt your wedding. for his proposal and you’d like a sincere apology if ever he is prepared to give it. 🙁 

    Post # 85
    201 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    Girl holy crap I would have taken the mic and said “NOT TODAY JUNIOR.” Wow. You have a lot of tact and understanding through the whole thing, they sound like trash. If it were me, I’d decline being any part of her wedding, I don’t think I would even go. The fact your hubby APOLOGIZED to him? He sounds like a great man and well meaning but he doesn’t owe SHIT to them. They owe you a long and detailed apology. I’d cut ties and have no further contact, full stop. That will speak volumes about how inconsiderate and indecent it was. I applaud you for remaining calm. I would have thrown a FIT and I’m not a drama queen. 

    Post # 86
    672 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    Read your update, bee. Sorry you’re hurting over the loss of a friendship, but seriously, I think they are classless and rude. If this happened to me, I (or DH) probably wouldn’t have confronted the Fiance, because I’m sure it’s just gonna lead to a shitload of drama…like your case did, but too late now.

    If Maggie’s Fiance asked you two beforehand, it would be okay. But to not ask for permission, interrupted your MOH’s speech, and to make such a cocky comment afterwards (made your day more special? really?), he is rude AF.

    At this point, I don’t think the two of you are even invited to their wedding (which is incredibly immature of them to not understand why you guys were annoyed).

    I’m curious with how did your mutual friends react?

    Post # 87
    722 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2015 - Backyard

    Well, that’s too bad but honestly if her fiancé is too self-absorbed to see this from your point of view and properly apologize, I’d bow out of the friendship and their wedding. Life’s too short to deal with people like that. They are probably feeling guilty and sad that their proposal and wedding plans started on a bad foot – and at your expense. They just don’t want to admit it.

    Some people might not think it’s a big deal but I’m sorry, society has rules and there is such a thing as being CONSIDERATE and RESPECTFUL of other people and their feelings. Unfortunately many people don’t care to be respectful of others and have a “anything goes” mindset. Well, it’s just leading to a more and more selfish society where all the “rules” and politeness are going out the window. A wedding is a celebration of the people getting married. If people discuss beforehand that they want it to showcase their proposal, that’s one thing. Otherwise it is rude and disrespectful to the people getting married. I don’t care if people disagree with this, it is common sense and common manners to ask beforehand. 

    Try not to let this ruin your memories. They are in the wrong and they are the ones who should (and probably deep down) feel embarrassed for what happened. Feel sorry that they (or he) decided to start their engagement out on a foolish, petty, disrespectful and selfish note. That’s on them, not you. The fact they can’t properly apologize and make amends with you on this is the sign you should take to bow out now before it escalates anymore. Sorry, bee. 

    Post # 88
    2982 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2017

    0queenbee0 :  I’m sorry you’re sad but she is just as bad as him.  They’re both pieces of sht to turn this around on you and your husband. I would show her this thread but be prepared,  selfish people like they both obviously are care only for themselves and will never clearly.see another’s perspective. .I really wish you could interrupt her wedding in some way.  You might as well cut your losses now, they are not as good friends as you thought. Move on. 

    Post # 89
    267 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2018

    I wouldn’t go to the wedding. I bet all the guests will notice your absence & if they have any sense, they’ll give em the side-eye. 

    Post # 90
    240 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    I’m sorry. This friend sucks. You are better off without them. Don’t go to the wedding. 

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