Post # 31
I have been cheated on in the past and I was told (by anonymous letter which was horrible as I didn’t know how accurate the information was). However it turned out to be entirely correct and if I hadn’t been told I would have had no idea. I will always be grateful that someone told me (despite their methods).
I have zero respect for people who cheat and show no remorse. if I were you I would confirm the information is correct, tell Jill she needs to come clean within 24 hours (not just break it off with Chad – tell the gods honest truth to Jack) and if she choses not to then go to Jack. He is the victim in this and he deserves to have loyalty from his friends especially if his girlfriend is showing him no loyalty whatsoever.
Post # 32
I just want to clarify some details!
Celeste told me one day after keeping it to herself for a few months because she felt that what Jill did was wrong, but she didn’t know how to deal with the situation. She confided in me because she knew I was closer to Jack and she trusted that I’d keep the information to myself, which I have. Her and Jack are not close, and she figured that it would be better if he heard it from someone close to him.
Also, I did tell Celeste that I should NOT go with her to talk to Jill, but Celeste told Jill I was coming before I could talk her out of it. As such, we aren’t going to lecture her or have an intervention. I’m going to let her talk, hear what she has to say, and just explain why I think she isn’t being fair to Jack, because he’s my friend and I want the best for him. Hopefully we’ll be able to have an adult coversation, but Jill’s demeanor is generally “I want, me, me, me, end of discussion.”
Unfortunately I was dragged into this situation, which I didn’t ask for, but now that I know this information I just feel like I need to be loyal to my friend, Jack. I’ve just never had to deal with a situation like this, so reading all of your different perspectives has been very, very helpful! Thank you!
Post # 33
hopfenn: Hope you can come back and let us know how it went!
Post # 34
If Jack were my close friend I’d totally tell him.
Post # 35
I agree with giving the deadline. If she doesn’t then tell him. I think you need to have celeste talk to Jack with you as well if that’s the ultimate end. Ultimately, you need to decide if you want to lose Jill as a friend…personally I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone whom could hurt another friend of mine not once but multiple times.
I’m usually on the boat that I don’t care if someone doesn’t believe me…but if I know something without a doubt is happening then I won’t have that weigh on my mind or potentially put me in a position where I was not upfront as a friend. So I would tell him.
Only in rare cases in which there isn’t proof or reliable information…would I suggest staying out of it.
Post # 36
sunshineno5: YESSS. Listen to this, OP.
Post # 37
So Celeste, Jill and I hung out for a few hours today and had a nice long talk. Jill told Chad that they won’t happen, because with him living in Europe and her in Canada it doesn’t make much sense. So she isn’t going to pursue him, and she does feel bad about cheating on Jack.
I learned that she got accepted to her internship and she’s leaving at the end of January, and she wants to sort out her situation on her own, which Celeste and I respect.
Jill wants to go to her internship for three months, during which her and Jack will take a break from their relationship (since things are rocky between them reglardless), and when she comes back if they still want to be together, she will tell him about Chad.
Celeste and I both think she should tell him before she leaves, though, so he’s able to clear his head and get some space during the time she is away, so I think I’m going to suggest this to her next time we chat.
Thanks for your input bees, it was great hearing your opinions! 😀