- 10 years ago
i am just so mad right now!!! i need to vent and maybe hear some other perspectives! first off, i am a regular user on this site, however, i prefer to post under my pseudo-name to ensure some extra privacy!
here is the back story as quick as i can tell it. i have a friend who likes to save abanonded cats. she will take them in, bring them to the vet and help them find homes or at least bring them to an agency who can help. Over the years she has taken in several cats herself. Currently, she has 4 cats and a dog.
ok, so five years ago, i get a call from her saying she has two cats that she found abandoned and would like to keep them herself. but she was planning a trip abroad and gotten her own two cats that she had at the time special shots and they were therefore under quarantine for four months and not allowed to come in contact with other animals. so my boyfriend (now husband) agreed to take the two cats in for four months as he had no pets. In the beginning she paid for food and litter. In the last month or two she stopped calling and coming by and paying for anything. my boyfriend got attached to the cats. so by the end of the 4 months, it was obvious she didn’t want them anymore and my bf decided he would keep them. she finally calls several weeks AFTER the 4 month mark and says “omg, i never thought to ask if your boyfriend wants to keep them! does he?” so he agreed to keep them.
fast forward to last march. my fiance and i had to move across the country for one year for a job (as of last july). we knew we were coming back. my parents agreed to keep the cats in their home while we were gone. well i went home for the holidays, one of the cats had died 🙁 it was very traumatic. the cat had gotten sick and then sadly died. the other cat was not sick but got fleas. obviously we were all upset by what happened, but i didn’t blame my mom. my mom actually found out my father has been cheating on her and decided to divorce him and sell the house. anyway, there are a lot of details i wont get into, but it ended up being that my friend who we got the cats from 5 years ago offered to take care of this cat for the remaining 4 months that we were going to be gone. she took him to the vet for us and took care of him. this was a huge relief as our other option was to leave him with a stranger or fly him across the country for three months and then bring him back again.
well, we moved back at the beginning of July to a city about 6 hours away from our hometown. our friend then emails us out of the blue to offer to keep our cat for the rest of the summer. we thought it was weird and told her “no its okay, we are coming for her in July”. so after a long road trip to our new home, we took up her offer to keep the cat until i had plans to visit my hometown this weekend (so basically she had the cat an extra 2.5 weeks). i told my friend i would be coming this weekend. well, last week she calls us to verify if i am coming this weekend and offers to keep our cat until mid-august when i have another visit planned. she said she is going to europe and wants to be able to say bye as she has now gotten attached to our cat. i said that weekend won’t work as our car will be full of stuff and we are driving down with other people. it is better for me to pick the cat up THIS weekend when i come alone and have space in the car for a cat cage. i tell her again that i will most likely come this weekend and will give her husband a call to figure out a time i can come get our cat! (since she will be out of town).
ok, so friday afternoon i am in town. before i can even call her husband, he emails me to say that its better i dont come this weekend to get the cat because we all need to sit down and discuss how to care for the cat and it would be better to do it person and in two weeks when both my husband and i and his wife (my friend) are all in town! i was quite shocked to receive this message and replied by being as polite as possible and said we appreciate their concern, but i planned to get the cat this weekend, i have the cage with me and we prefer to come get her sunday evening (tonight). anything else can be discussed on the phone….. her husband also said that part of the reason they wanted to keep the cat was so my friend, his wife, can say a proper goodbye to my cat! so in my email, i said she is welcome to visit us anytime and its not like she will never see the cat again!
then her husband replies to me more harshly and says that he cannot let me take the cat this weekend with his wife being out of town as it is not fair to her after all she has done. he then offered to drive the cat to us next week (six hours away) when he is on vacation from work!
i was so beyond shocked by this reply, i didnt know what to do. my husband then emails my friend directly to ask what is going on (remember she is in europe now) and if there is something that we dont know about. he assured her we will reimburse them for any vet bills etc, and that she can visit anytime. he said he doesnt understand why her husband told me i cannot pick up our cat! SHE replies this morning with a super long and condescending email to me and my husband about how the main priority is the cat and we need to sit and discuss how to take care of him! and it is best that we have this “crucial discussion” in person WITH the cat present when everyone is together in two weeks! and if we can’t take the cat then, then they will come to US with the cat to have this discussion!!!!
At this point i am flipping mad at how she is being so insane about the whole thing. I decided i need to get into their place and take our cat back ASAP. so i wrote back thanking her for her email and asked to then come visit the cat tonight since i had been looking forward to seeing my cat this weekend. she fell for it and tells me to give her husband a call.
so i went there tonight. the cat is fine, no more fleas, nothing. only seemed a little scared to be surrounded by 4 other cats and a dog that are running all over the place. me and her husband were civil and nice and made small talk at first. then i asked whats going on, we dont understand why you are not letting us take our cat home. i said its not their place to decide when i take her home etc etc. we ended up getting into a heated argument and resulted in me leaving WITHOUT my cat! i decided not to take the cat and run (as i wanted to do) because i beleive he would have blocked me at the door. his main reason was that he is afriad his wife will be mad at him for letting the cat go and she needs/deserves to be able to say a “proper” goodbye. i told him i thought the whole thing was very weird and we would never let them take care of our cats again! i finally left because he was VERY adament about the fact that he would not be letting the cat leave with me tonight. i asked him how do i know they will ever give the cat back, and he “assured” me i will get my cat back!
so now i am fuming mad, not sure what to do next and my husband is trying to tell me not to get so mad! he thinks we will get the cat back!
what do you think? am i over reacting here? am i not seeing something the way i should be??
i just needed to vent and hear some outside, unbiased opinions! thanks if you have read this far!