- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2011
I have this friend (we’ll call her Annie) who I met a few years ago at my job at the time. We had a lot of good times, especially in the beginning. We grew pretty close and I always thought we had a pretty good friendship. Unfortunately, Annie has a lot of issues. Self-esteem, confidence, etc. She’s also incredibly passive aggressive and can be somewhat shallow. I feel like I have been there a lot for her over the years (I watch her daughter a lot, have driven her around when she didn’t have a car/suspended license, went to court to support her in her baby daddy issues, loaned her money, my husband fixed her car, etc) but lately I’m beginning to realize our friendship is very one sided.
Annie has a history of getting mad over really petty things and not saying anything about them. She just won’t talk to you at all. You can call her to say what’s up, text her, email her, facebook her, whatever. She won’t respond. Or she’ll respond after a week with just one or two words. The first time I noticed this was four years ago when we had planned a camping trip and I was trying to find out what time we were leaving and if we were all going to ride together or drive separately. I like to know ahead of time what the plan is. She kept ignoring me, which lead me to text her things like “hey so, I know you are busy but I just need to know what our plans are for saturday”. I finally got her on the phone where she proceeded to tell me I was “nagging” her.
She is also a very jealous friend. All of the little victories in my life have led to a weird period of her ignoring me and pretending I don’t exist. When I moved out on my own she wouldn’t come hang out and refused to help me move. When I got engaged she wouldn’t talk to me for weeks except a lame “congrats” text and nothing else. I bought my first new car and she didn’t have anything to say except to talk about the new car she really wants to get with her tax money. And for my wedding she was the WORST.
My sister and Maid/Matron of Honor was in basic training through most of the planning/showers/bachelorette. I told my friend Annie I would need her help on most things since my sister wasn’t going to be around. She seemed excited to help me, but then didn’t plan anything, ditched out on my fittings and dress appointments without calling, made my coworker pay for my meal at my bachelorette party (and invited her pregnant coworker to tag along), and showed up 40 minutes late to my bridal shower. After all this, she never once helped with a project, skipped the rehearsal, and complained the day of the wedding about how hard it was to be a bridemaid. I pretty much just ignored it and let it go but she got mad at me after the wedding and didn’t speak to me/gave me the silent treatment for weeks. When I finally got out of her WHY she was mad at me, she flipped out and said I have been upset for a while because Amanda (my other bridesmaid and a newer friend) gave a toast at the wedding. In truth, my friend Amanda just got up during the speeches and said something. The coordinator actually said over the microphone “Does anyone else want to say anything? Anyone?” So it wasn’t like Annie didn’t have a chance. I couldn’t understand why after all I put up with before the wedding SHE had the nerve to be mad at ME for something SHE could have controlled! I just let it go as usual because I wanted to be the bigger person and not let something stupid and immature ruin our friendship.
Well on New Year’s Eve she was supposed to come over with her boyfriend and her daughter to play wii games. My husband and I went out to dinner and came home to get ready for them to come over. Well my husband (who works 6-7 days a week at a physical job) fell asleep on the couch at around 9 waiting for them to show up. I texted Annie and said hey, James fell asleep so we might want to do this another night. 20 minutes later they all show up at my door ready to hang out. I try to wake my husband up but he’s pretty groggy. Our wii also doesn’t seem to be working but Annie, her bf, and daughter hang out and talk for awhile even though my husband is sleeping on the couch right next to us. Eventually they leave and everything seemed to be fine.
Well after that I textedher about hanging out the next week and get no answer. I text her again and get no answer. My husband finds out from her boyfriend that she is PISSED he fell asleep. I haven’t heard from her at all since January 1st and have kind of refused to text and call and facebook her to say what’s up if she can’t also make an effort.
At this point I don’t really know what to do. I’m not passive aggressive so it’s hard for me to not say anything. I at least feel like telling her she’s immature and needs to grow up but I don’t want to start drama. Do you think I should just let this friendship go? I just think I’m getting too old for these games. Ironically she’s a few years older than me and does not seem to feel too old to play childish games.
Please tell me I’m not the childish one!!!