(Closed) My friend is so bitter I'm engaged. (long, as usual with me)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
4801 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Why are you friends with this person? Seriously…if it was just her having a tough time with your engagement because of her relationship problems, I’d throw some advice your way and give her a bit of a pass – not completely, because she’s being a bitch, but I wouldn’t write off a friendship over a few months of her being a crappy friend while she’s going through a rough time. But she sounds like an all-around mean and selfish person. You say she’s been this way since a bit after high school…how long is that? Not sure since you didn’t give ages.

But honestly, if I were in your shoes I would just start distancing myself from her.

Post # 4
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

She’s being ridiculous, and is probably jealous.  I’d give her a few days, or weeks, to calm down.  Concentrate on your engagement!  Do you have an idea of when and where you’d like to be married?

Post # 5
2362 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

Absolutely agree with

View original reply
@peachacid:  She is being ridiculous about your engagement. Some of her comments are just downright mean spirited, and you should NOT let that question your engagement. Lots of people get engaged around the holidays because they have time off and can share it with their families and there are already parties planned! That doesn’t necessarily make it cliche, just logical! Besides, the holidays are magical for some so you just rock your engagement.

You do not need a person this negative projecting onto your engagement or your wedding. If she can’t be happy for you (or at least keep the negativity more to herself) then she really isn’t a friend ๐Ÿ™

Post # 7
18 posts

It was very surprising to me too how negative some of my friends reacted to my engagement.  But I think you have it exactly right… she wouldn’t have been happy with ANY day that he chose.  Sounds like she basically always finds something to criticize.

No, you didn’t do anything wrong.  The truth is, things do change when you get engaged and sometimes that means friendships too. That’s ok.  Just give her time and maybe she’ll get used to the idea and start being more positive.  If not, well, then you don’t need to include her in things if she’s going to rain on your parade.

I’m sure you have a lot of people who are just thrilled for you!!!  Try to do some celebrating with them and put her out of your mind.  You deserve to just enjoy the next couple weeks.

Post # 8
1748 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

She’s being so unneccesary. This is one of those situations where you can think whatever it is you want, but keep your mouth shut and be happy for your friend on her engagement. She’ll get over this and please don’t let it both you, as hard as it may be.

Post # 10
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@sealevels:  I’ve been jealous of people who were engaged when I was still struggling with finding the right person. Instead of being nasty, I just kept my distance. I think she would have been better served doing just that if she couldn’t remain civil.

This is also why engaged and married people tend to hang out together rather than mixing with singles. It’s just a different world after you’re engaged.

You got yourself your husband. That’s all that matters ๐Ÿ™‚ Maybe she will come around again. Until then, sharing your experiences like this with other engaged/married women (in everyday life or on weddingbee boards) will give you a positive outlet ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 12
6738 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

This is not a friend, it’s a frenemy.  I would have dumped her a long time ago. 

First, I don’t allow miserable negative people in my life.  I’m all for having a bad day and needing a friend who will bum out with you on the couch and eat a pint of ice cream while you don’t shower that day and watch stupid movies – but when someone is always cynical/negative/miserable (I’ve had that friend, fgot rid of her TWICE) it’s a drag. 

Second, she’s not a supportive friend.  She can’t be happy for you?  If she really thinks it’s stupid you got engaged on NYE, she needs to shut it and be happy for you.  A REAL friend would have said, “Usually I don’t like cheesey holiday proposals but your Fiance was not cheesey about it at all!  So happy for you!” if she really wanted to remind you how much she hates holiday proposals – which she doesn’t even need to! 

Why is she raining on your parade?  You want to know why?  Because she’s a b1tch.  Dump her now, thank me later. 

Post # 13
3196 posts
Sugar bee

There is a difference between being “real” about facts and being a bitch about her opinions and turning your words against you. I wouldn’t want her in my wedding party because she doesn’t seem mature enough to put aside her problems for one second and support you. 

Post # 14
11736 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@sealevels:  and you are friends with this bitch beause why?!  Time to reevaluate that frienship and move on – preferably without her.

Post # 15
4108 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I agree with the bees telling you to get rid of her. This doesn’t sound like it’s about your engagement. It sounds like she’s a selfish shitty person/friend anyway.

Post # 16
818 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013


“You do not need a person this negative projecting onto your engagement or your wedding. If she can’t be happy for you (or at least keep the negativity more to herself) then she really isn’t a friend :(” Big +1 with this.

There have been lots of passionate replies to this and I think you honestly must listen to them. You need to disassociate yourself with this person. I forced myself to drift apart from a very jealous, passive aggressive “best” friend of 7 years so much like you described and I am so much happier. She struggled but I do NOT miss this person at all. Real friends are not like this. They don’t make everything about them or not truly be happy for your success and accomplishments nor they act like this at all. Better to find out now what a poor friend she is now through this then later on down the line. Congrats on your engagement ๐Ÿ™‚ I was proposed to two weeks before Christmas and don’t think holiday engagements are lame and regardless real loved ones will be happy for you. 


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