(Closed) My friend of 15+ years is lashing out about my impending engagement

posted 6 years ago in Engagement
Post # 62
Member
1838 posts
Buzzing bee

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jb7979 :  I wouldn’t restart the friendship, if I was you. 

She may be nice now, but she could be all right for a while, get upset, and then be rude all over again. 

Staying away from her might be the best course of action. 

Post # 63
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee

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jb7979 :  To let you know that some of us live in the 21st century and don’t feel the need to tear each other down for having sexual appetites? 

 

Sounds like you’re both better off without each other. 

Post # 65
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee

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jb7979 :  Just because someone does something wrong doesn’t mean it’s okay to criticize them for things that aren’t even really related. If what she did was wrong and what you say is so true, you wouldn’t feel the need to frame her as a bad person from the get go, and that’s my firm opinon. Have a good day!

Post # 66
Member
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

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janeblack :  If you actually read through her thread and other comments, you would have seen it was pertinent as her friend’s choices put her in a bad/potentially dangerous spot.

 

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jb7979 :  I’d be really cautious letting her back in your life. She sounds like she needs professional help regarding her drinking and resulting choices. You were considering not having a wedding all because she isn’t mature enough to handle it. That’s ludicrous!

Post # 67
Member
218 posts
Helper bee

You could either cut her out of your life for good and let her deal with her own self-destruction, or, you can give it one last go and tell her you want to be friends and you want her in your life, but you will not (not can’t.. but won’t) put up with her disrespecting your relationship with your Fiance and putting you down, not to mention getting you involved in potentionally dangerous situations.

If she cannot respect herself, that’s her business, but that doesn’t mean she can disrespect you as well. She probably doesn’t remember what went on that night… perhaps if you emailed her telling her what went on and how you felt your trust and safety had been violated, she might understand that her actions are bigger than her?

Good luck bee.

Post # 68
Member
459 posts
Helper bee

I had a “friend” like that and cut her off. She was clingy, emotionally needy and made the same poor life choices with men and relationships. She was always sour about the good in my life. I came to the realization that I didn’t need her toxic energy around me aymore. Guess what? I’m happy and along the way I’ve made new friends! 

She doesn’t sound like a “friend” to you. She sounds like a user. 

Post # 69
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

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janeblack :  As someone who is extremely against slut shaming, she didn’t slut shame her friend. She added info because it effects her personally. You didn’t even read the whole thread so why are you here??

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