(Closed) My (friend) officiant just flaked out on us

posted 8 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

That is unacceptable! Did he offer to find a replacement? At the very least he should offer to help you find someone that can step in! I am so SO sorry about this! Do you have any friends or family who are certified to marry people? If you are not tied to a religious ceremony, you could have a close friend possibly get ordained (depending on where you are getting married).

I hope you are able to find a solution quickly! Good luck!

Post # 4
2867 posts
Sugar bee

I would call him and ask for a replacement.  This is really awful of him, he can come back for one weekend.  Maybe you could pay his traveling fees?

Post # 5
28 posts

I’m an officiant myself (as well as a recent bride.)

Sometimes ministers are transferred (especially in the summer for certain denominations), and there’s nothing they can do about it.  That said, your friend should offer to find a replacement, or as someone else suggested, you could offer to pay traveling expenses.  

I would say, “This is obviously a very important event to us, and we don’t understand why you are suddenly unavailable.  As it is very late notice, we request that you either honor your commitment to us by traveling here and performing our wedding or by helping us find a suitable replacement.  Simply letting us know at the last minute that you are unavailable and expecting us to somehow “figure this out” was disrespectful to us.  We look forward to hearing from you how we can work together to resolve this situation and are confident that we’ll find a solution.”


Good luck!

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