My friend said no to being a bridesmaid?

posted 3 months ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 46
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14169 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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@alwaysatypo09:  The friend sounds flaky and I doubt it applies to this post but yes, there could absolutely be things that you’d keep private, even from a close friend. And not everything is at your discretion to disclose if you wanted to.  

For example if a partner or a parent or sibling had an illness but didn’t want anyone else to know you’d respect that, right? Or what if you were TTC or were in the early weeks of pregnancy and didn’t want to say anything until you knew it was safer and had a chance to tell both families in person? Or what if a child felt it would be a breach of trust for a parent to discuss something personal? 

Then there are things you might simply choose not to tell. Even a good friend isn’t entitled to know everything about you. There could even be valid but private reasons why Saturdays in the summer heat are off limits, though I can’t think of any off the top of my head. If so I think it would have been better to say “I would really love to stand up for you but I’m afraid I have a conflict and can’t commit for personal reasons” rather than giving half of a reason. 

Post # 47
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55 posts
Worker bee

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@weddingmaven:  Ehh agree to disagree I think friends should be able to feel comfortable being open with each other. A close friendship isn’t just talking about surface level things that’s more of an acquaintance level stuff not close friend stuff.

 

Post # 51
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14169 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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@alwaysatypo09:  I never said a close friendship isn’t about sharing more than surface level information. That certainly doesn’t mean you have to disclose absolutely everything to any one person, no matter how close. So if for example an immediate family member or partner asked you not to reveal something personal about them that affected your life in some significant way, you’d tell your friend anyway? And you don’t think there could be anything you’d want to keep to yourself, ever?  I’m not sure how old you are, but as time goes on I think you find that there are situations and subjects that are not appropriate to discuss at a certain time or at all and others that you simply choose not to. No one is entitled to know everything you think or feel at all times, even your partner. 

Post # 52
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82 posts
Worker bee

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@beach_lover89:  girl, take this as a sign. You do not want a difficult bridemaid with you on the day! My Maid/Matron of Honor was like this girl, always debated everything from shoes to hair to jewellery. I was beyond frustrated. She made the whole day about her and actually ruined it for me. She only wanted to do what she wanted to do..which included rock music at 5.30am, running around like a loon, bashing my bouquet on everything etc. Trust me, the first sign they are being difficult..is when you should not pursue this. I actually wish I had no bridesmaids at all so I could have focused on my husband, not all the drama on the day.

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