- 2 years ago
As the title says, I have the feeling that a few of my friends, including my best friend, do not like my partner.
Bit of background, I’ve been with my partner for 2 1/2 years, we have lived together for most of that time and are getting engaged next month. All of my family love her, so much so my brother’s Fiance has actually asked her to be one of her bridesmaids. My other friends love her too and are always asking about her and telling me to make sure she comes along when we go out, so I am confident that she is not coming across badly and I’m not seeing it.
I have had the impression for some time now that my best friend and her close friend (who I also consider a friend) do not like my partner. At first I noticed they were not being overly welcoming when we all went out together, but put this down to my partner being a bit shy and them not really connecting. However, as time has gone on they have not warmed up to her or made much effort to make her feel welcome and included on nights out etc.
There has been nothing overtly bad that they have done, it’s more that as well as being quite cold towards her they often leave her out of conversations in real life and group chats on WhatsApp or Facebook etc, if she replies they will usually ignore her but respond to others, they create groups on WhatsApp to arrange group plans and despite having her number (and inviting everyone else’s partners) never add her to the group. She will sometimes message them to invite them to places with us and they will reply half heartedly or not reply at all, then carry on conversations in other groups (making it clear they are ignoring her). One time they ignored her when she invited them to an event and then put on Facebook the next day that they were attending with other people.
I have been brushing all this off for the past two years or so as like I said, it’s never anything overtly bad and I just hoped with time it would get better, plus most of this stuff seems pretty childish. However, my girlfriend is getting increasingly upset by it and I’m also upset that they are making it quite obvious they don’t like her and when we do all go out together it’s getting pretty awkward.
They have partners themselves and they (and their partners’ friends) have been welcomed with open arms into our friendship group and I have always been very friendly towards them, even going on holiday with them and weekends away etc. I recently brought it up with my best friend without accusing her of not liking my partner (just asking if there is a problem as I sense a bad vibe and awkardness etc) and she got very defensive and denied everything making me seem as though I’m being paranoid.
I’m just not sure where to go from here? I should add this is not the first time I have introduced a partner or other friend to them and they have acted this way, they were like this with my ex and another one of my friends too. Any ideas? Maybe this is something I doing wrong?