My friends racist grandpa.

posted 7 days ago in The Lounge
Post # 16
Member
1848 posts
Buzzing bee

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@rainingteadrops:  

Psychosis can happen with dementia, even if it’s not common or commonly discussed. We’re talking about a condition in which the brain is physically breaking down… This sounds like an unsafe situation for all sorts of reasons. His behavior is impossible to predict without throwing someone he doesn’t know into the mix. Don’t go there.

Post # 17
Member
5283 posts
Bee Keeper

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@rainingteadrops:  If you are questioning if it’s “dangerous to be around someone  who think spies are going to attack him”, then you got your answer. Do not stay at her house. I wanted to mention too that from your title “my friend’s racist grandpa”, perhaps don’t be so quick to jump into conclusions next time. You mentioned he has been “nothing but nice to me”. As you learned, it was a “sad situation” related to dementia and what seems to be psychosis.

Post # 18
Member
10544 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I used to work in Alzheimer’s research and yes some people do develop psychosis and think they are someone else. 

 Dementia and Alzheimer’s isn’t always just forgetting things or wandering off. Patients can be aggressive and hurt themselves and others when they are having extreme episodes. 

Post # 20
Member
372 posts
Helper bee

For what it’s worth I had to stay in a hotel for 2 weeks for work and I felt completely safe. Everyone was socially distant, no one came into my room during my stay unless I left and specifically asked for them to be inside. There were no communal areas open so there was no continental breakfast etc or anywhere for anyone to congregate. When we interacted with the front desk there was a partition and we were both masked and we dropped off the key to check out with no contact. I would definitely just choose a hotel.

Post # 21
Member
1274 posts
Bumble bee

My family has nazi emblem stuff hidden away in a box because they were prisoners of war during WW2 and they see it as a part of our family history and something they (well some of them) survived. Definetly not on display though. 

*just saw your update. that’s quite sad, but agree it might be best if you stay somewhere else. 

xo

Post # 22
Member
698 posts
Busy bee

I feel really bad for this man. The number of posters, and indeed yourself, assuming he was racist before actually asking why the stuff was there.

You need to change the title of this thread. He is not racist.

Post # 23
Member
5283 posts
Bee Keeper

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@MeandYou:  I also noticed the use of “racist” when this was first posted (see my reply above). I gave it a few days to see if OP will update with info after talking to her friend and if anyone will bring up the use of the word. But no one brought it up. As you can see when she replied to me that OP realizes this now. However, I don’t think she can change the title anymore. I think editing only allows you to do it for an hour after posting (?). 

Post # 26
Member
811 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

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@socalgirl1689:  I really find your response problematic. First of all, you’re chastising the OP for being put off by a collecton of Nazi items. You’re chastising her for assuming that the collection has racist roots. Really? This whole thing about dementia and believing he was in the war is pretty unique; it’s highly likely that this is the ONLY person on the planet who owns this much Nazi memorabilia, also has dementia, and also thinks that he was a Nazi. Maybe there’s…one more? A few? Out of the billions of people in the world? 

But you know what isn’t rare or unique? Racism. Nazi-sympathetizers. Millions and millions and millions of people are racist. It’s not a huge leap from Nazi memorabilia to racist–but it’s a big fucking leap from Nazi memorabilia to handed-down collection to an elderly man with dementia who now thinks he was a Nazi. 

How about you not chastize POC for being concerned that a white people WITH NAZI MEMORABILIA is racist and then shove things in their faces with a petty “I told you so! Stop judging!” Since POC are judged far more harshly far more often, after all. 

Post # 27
Member
5283 posts
Bee Keeper

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@obviousanonymous:  Uhm what? “problematic”? LOL I don’t even know how to reply to you because you are WAAAY out there with your reply. The grandpa got it from his father and it likely has an emotional attachment to it just because these items belonged to his dad. It’s not like he actively searched for them and spent a fortune. And for you to assume that the grandpa has the largest collection of nazi stuff (“It’s highly likely that this is the ONLY person in the world with the largest nazi collection…”) in the world is laughable. Have you caught a glimpse of The History Channel? If you haven’t, just an FYI, there are thousands of people who collect this stuff all over the world for whatever reasons and you don’t know who has what underlying conditions. Plus, you talk like you have entered every single house in the planet and done a thorough search of every single room and demanded the residents’ medical records and know this for a fact! Yah, ok LOL

What I did was not to “chastise” OP. OP assumed in the beginning based on the title that he was “racist” but after finding out more, realized it was something else. That was not fair. You have zero right to tell me what I cannot say because this is an open forum. Like OP said, the reason the grandpa had it was because he inherited it and he has not shown OP any rudeness. Other bees here have mentioned too that they got relatives who had some nazi related items as a form of memorabilia even though they are a POC. How about you taking your own advice and stop judging people in general (poc or not) because you don’t know all the background info about the situation? I find your reply PROBLEMATIC for being so quick to judge and make assumptions.

ETA: And to make it clear to you, there’s a fucking DIFFERENCE between being “concerned” (your word) than immediately concluding that someone is a “racist” without having all details.

Post # 28
Member
2633 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

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@rainingteadrops:  It’s hard to say whether or not he is dangerous. Plenty of people have extensive delusions and they are not dangerous. My grandfather had some pretty extensive delusions when he got older that had to do with having fluid retention in his brain. He would get confused and he thought my grandma was an imposter and not his real wife. He was never dangerous at all. He would get upset and go on and on about it sometimes at night (he would sundown). However, he never become physical. I’m a psych nurse so I’ve seen those who do get dangerous and those who are never dangerous.

 

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