Post # 1
Member
2155 posts
Buzzing bee
I’d like to share my friend’s proposal story (with her permission). She’s a little bit bummed not to have an engagement ring, but I think her proposal is original and romantic and her Fiance has already told her that he’d like it if the money saved on the engagement ring went into her wedding ring.. so that she can choose a doubly beautiful one.
So.. they’d been talking about marriage for 2 1/3 years now and she’s been getting increasingly disappointed that a proposal hadn’t come at all. She had finally dropped the subject about 6 months ago and was focusing on her own life and figuring out what her next steps would be if he didn’t get around to proposing to her at all.
Last week, they went to their favourite restaurant. The restaurant usually has fliers at the door. One of the fliers mentionned wedding receptions..something along the lines of ”Beautiful wedding reception at our restaurant.. bla bla.. advertisment and some wedding photos”. The next day, my friend came home from work. Her Fiance was out. She found the wedding reception flier on their dining room table. He had written ”I love you.. Lets do this..? You choose the date xxx :-)” on the flier, and listed a bunch of summer, autumn and winter 2015 dates that fit around his work schedule.
I cried when she told me that story! (although I am pregnant and hormonal.. but I thought it was really cute!). They’ve booked a date for a winter 2015 wedding.
She’s hoping your comments will reassure her that it’s ok not to have an engagement ring. She’s already found an expensive wedding ring that she loves, and her Fiance told her that they will definitely get that one.
Post # 2
Member
3242 posts
Sugar bee
Buy a cz stand in for forty bucks!! I would! Of course its okay but I would totally get myself a cz stand in for before the wedding just for a bit of fun! Or a cheap moissy solitaire!
Post # 3
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
amanda3334455: I wouldn’t care so much about the ring, a beautiful wedding ring is just as good if not better.
Post # 4
Member
2155 posts
Buzzing bee
Yipeebee: He already actually got her a beautiful ring a while back very shortly after they first started dating, so I told her to just pretend that one’s her engagement ring 🙂
Post # 5
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
My fiance didn’t propose with a ring. Neither did my dad when he proposed to my mom. I wasn’t bothered at all–in fact I preferred it. I actually find the “Will you marry me?” immediately coinciding with the presentation of the ring to be a little bit too much. I think a proposal sans ring lets you focus on the fact that you’re getting engaged and not get distracted by the ring.
Post # 6
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee
Of course its ok that she doesnt have one, it doesnt make her any less engaged! My cousin has an engagement bracelet!
But if she really wants a ring to mark the occassion there are many affordable options out there. A lot of jewellery stores carry lovely CZ rings for very cheap.
Post # 7
Member
3242 posts
Sugar bee
amanda3334455: definitely! People repurpose rings all the time! There are bees on here who have used their promise rings as wedding bands!
Post # 8
Member
1862 posts
Buzzing bee
amanda3334455: I think getting the wedding band of her dreams is a lovely idea, but I agree with Yipeebee. If she would really like to have a ring now as a symbol of her newly engaged status, I would look into finding a lovely, inexpensive ring to wear for my engagement. I’d probably check out Berricle.com or eBay.
Post # 9
Member
3584 posts
Sugar bee
amanda3334455: i mean a ring is what society expects with and engagement. You don’t need a ring to say you are getting married. Some girls go without erings and just have A band. MY question is did your friend want the ring or does she want to get married? I get that she is bummed and i would be to but she ultimately said she wanted to get married. Sounds like she is getting what she wants. The ring will come later and hey at least maybe she can pick it out.
Post # 10
Member
7425 posts
Busy Beekeeper
I’d be pretty bummed that he proposed (kind of?) without being there to actually propose in person. Not going to lie, I’d also be kind of sad to have a ringless proposal.
She can choose an engagement style ring and wear it as her wedding ring. I only wear an engagement ring because I think my ring looks great by itself.
Post # 11
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
If they’ve already picked out a ring together, why not get it now so she can wear it? He can still put it on her finger at the ceremony. I can see why he was hesitant to pick out a ring for her. Ring shopping can be hard for guys and so many women complain about not liking their erings. There is a ton of pressure. And he probably wanted to surprise her with the proposal, not go ring shopping then propose. I totally get it. So yeah, tell her to just get the ring she likes now so she can wear it. I admit it would be weird announcing an engagement without a ring.
Post # 12
Member
3716 posts
Sugar bee
My coworker wanted just a nice band, so they bought as an engagement ring that became her wedding ring. That might be an idea (I personally wanted an e-ring)
Post # 13
Member
238 posts
Helper bee
If her Fiance couldn’t afford an e-ring or if she didn’t want an e-ring, that’d be one thing, but if he can and she obviously does, that should matter to him. I also think his not even being present for the proposal is kind of sad. It doesn’t sound romantic or thoughtful at all. Every couple is different, though, so maybe this kind of thing is their normal.
Post # 14
Member
1226 posts
Bumble bee
So he proposed with a note? I guess it’s a step up from a text?
What’s ok is doing what you’re comfortable with. Whether that’s having an engagement ring or not, or only the band, or the woman proposing, or no formal proposal at all. But it sounds like your friend’s Fiance is calling the shots without considering what your friend wants. Where is the compromise here? If she wants a cheap engagement ring she should get one, and that’s not materialistic.
Post # 15
Member
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
amanda3334455: My DH proposed without a ring. Honestly I was so overwhelmed with joy I didn’t even notice until later. 2 days later he bought me a stand-in and we got the “forever” ring 3 months later. I personally don’t think the ring makes the engagement – it’s the commitment you make to each other.