(Closed) My friends sister got proposed to at HER wedding!

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you be upset if someone got proposed to at your wedding?
    ABSOLUTELY! This is MY day! : (287 votes)
    85 %
    No, I understand it was because everyone was there : (50 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 17
    Member
    114 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    That is beyond wrong!!! I would cry. It takes so much away from the bride.

    Post # 18
    Member
    5385 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I would be PISSED! I see the wedding as the bride and groom’s party and you just don’t take over someone else’s party. I can’t believe that the sister allowed the spot light to go directly to her and the guests stopped paying attention to the bride and groom.

    Post # 19
    Member
    523 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    A couple spends so much time, money, and energy making their wedding day happen.  It would be inappropriate for someone else to steal their spotlight, and it would be rude for the proposer not to ask beforehand if the bride and groom minded.  Although I’d feel happy that I created a romantic environment, I’d prefer the proposal to happen the next morning in the hotel room, and announce it over brunch.  I asked my fiance and he feels the same way.

    Post # 21
    Member
    321 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2011 - Anthony’s Fine Dining

    I answered “no,” but truthfully I think it would depend on who it was.  If it was the kind of person who has a tendency to hog the spotlight, I would be hurt that she was stealing my thunder.  But if it was someone close to me, I would feel like our love inspired someone elses and that would make me happy.  Maybe that’s cheesy…but I think that’s how I would react 🙂

    Post # 22
    Member
    2640 posts
    Sugar bee

    I agree with the others.  The scenario you described, would definitely irk me.  I would not mind about the private engagement.  if someone asked to propose at my wedding, I would probably offer, if they were ppl I was close to.  And I would allow them to do this, towards the end of the evening.  (Hey, it’s kind of neat to have an extra spark when the evening is winding down.)

    NOw I wonder, will your friend say anything to her sister?  The sister was certainly at fault for leaving, and being self centered at her sister’s wedding.  However, I’m assuming that the sister had no idea the proposal was coming at the wedding.  Hopefully she would have poopooed that if she had.  The bf, unfortuantely being a guy, probably had  no clue it would be terrible form.  He probably thought it was the best idea in the world.

    I guess if I had a close relative who was in a a relationship, with some hint of a possible proposal, I would make some specific rules for the DJ.  Ya know, this is something DJ’s should just know, don’t ya think?

    Post # 23
    Member
    14976 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    if he HAD to do it that day while everyone was there, he should’ve at least waited for the end of the night!  and after their planned last song of the night…. then talk to the bride and ask see if it was ok to make the announcement and have one more last song dedicated to the sister to have their little spot light at the end of the event. 

    Post # 24
    Member
    197 posts
    Blushing bee

    so wrong, so so wrong. I’m so sad for your friend. I hope she and her husband can return the stolen special moment by announcing something of their own at the sisters wedding.

    Post # 25
    Member
    3997 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Omg I’d be so LIVID.  That’s just wrong.  I get that he was excited, that he wanted to share that moment with people that are close to her.  But that is so inappropriate.  The night is about the new couple ONLY.  I’m kinda heart broken for your friend 🙁

    Post # 26
    Member
    2867 posts
    Sugar bee

    I would be pissed.  Completely unacceptable.  Karma would be is if the current newlyweds announced they were pregnant at the sister’s wedding.

    Post # 27
    Member
    247 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2011 - The Viceroy

    @ spaganya love the Robin Hood reference!

    Post # 28
    Member
    541 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    My Fiance has made it VERY clear that he is instructing the band NOT to pass the mic to anyone without our approval. He feels that proposing during someone else’s day is rude and I tend to agree. It’s 6 hours of focus on 2 people in love and it’s cost them alot of money…it’s not your time to share the spotlight.

    Post # 29
    Member
    14181 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Wow. That is unbelievable. How awful. i feel so sorry for your friend; that was incredibly inappropriate. Just, beyond belief.

    I probably would’ve said, “are you effing kidding me?!” very loudly if that was me. Yikes

    Post # 30
    Member
    5385 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    @ejs: I agree. Something probably would’ve slipped out of my mouth too.

    Post # 31
    Member
    1568 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 1996

    Ditto what everyone has already said – there is a courteous and respectful way to do this, but this is an example of one of the worst ways to go about it.

    I’ll also add: this is what a DOC is for. Ours is a bulldog about enforcing the flow of events the way they’re supposed to go, and she’d be sure to sniff it out if something like this were in the works, and make sure to clear it with the bride before any mic was passed to anybody.

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