Post # 1
It’s horrible! Her wedding was supposed to be this month on the 18th but last week, her fiance called it off! He’s clearly a horrible person and she’s devestated. What’s more is that he never gave a good reason, mostly cop outs (he even tried “you’re just too good for me”, what the hell is that?). I feel so bad because she thought it her life was planned and poof! On to plan B.
And now, with my wedding planning, I have to be careful what I say around her because she’s really fragile, and rightfully so. I’m sure she won’t crumble if I mention my wedding but I want to be sensitive to her needs. It’s just really hard to remember not to say anything about the most important thing going on in my life, ya know?
In the end, I wanna beat this guy up! That’s ok if its coming from a good place, right? Lol, just kidding! What kind of man would do that? (He’ll be a broke man, that’s for sure because he’s now responsible to reimburse anything her and her family has spent as well as the rest of the deposits for the vendors… haha sucker!)
Post # 3
Been there and done that (broken engagement, no wedding, etc). What I needed the most was for people not to treat me any differently… it was insane the way my engaged friends were at the time. It was like they didn’t want to talk weddings at all with me so I felt like I was being left out!! I think that if she doesn’t want to talk about weddings etc then that should be up to her, but you can still ask if she wants to go dress shopping with you or to the florist or that type of thing.
Post # 4
How very sad, but at least she can move on with her life without having to go through a divorce. Definintely ask her if she’s comfortable with helping you with wedding stuff, and be sensitive even if she says yes.
Post # 5
As sad as it is, it’s so much better that she found out now than after the wedding. I think that this month would be hardest since her date just passed, but I think crebre80 made a good point about treating her normal.
Post # 6
Oh how awful! Definitely just avoid some wedding talk with her and drop by and check in on her, but don’t treat her like she’ll just fall apart. She wants you to probably forget a little
And I hope she and her family get their money back..unless he signed all those papers himself, it’s hard to say whether or not he’ll actually follow through and cut them a check because legally, whoever signs those papers is financially responsible. I know because I signed all of *ours* and the place told me that *I* would be held responsible as the signer since he was deployed
Post # 7
that’s so awful. what a jerk. yeah it’s better it happened before the wedding, but it would have been nice if he figured it out before the engagement! DUH. jerk. oh wait i already said that.
Post # 8
How about take her to lunch and maybe get her a massage and you two could have a girls’ day? She will talk when she’s ready and you’re one amazing friend.
I agree (having been divorced) it’s best NOW she not follow through rather than this guy hold whatever it is inside for a long time and them divorce later.
Post # 9
I would generally avoid wedding talk, unless she asks. Maybe share the link to the There Goes the Bride forums:
It is sort of like WeddingBee for women who’s weddings have been called off. It might help her to connect with people who understand.
Post # 10
Well, we have all rallied around her and we’re treating her normally, and when she wants to talk about it we do, and when she doesn’t that’s fine. This past weekend was really nice. It was supposed to be her bachelorette party and we’d planned to go away, so we still did. She said she wanted to so we just had a girls weekend and she said she had a lot of fun. She’s great and she’ll recover. You’re all right though, its so much better that this happened before the wedding!
And regarding the money, he’s screwed at least a little! (love it) because he signed most of the contracts, its just that her family put up a lot of money too. I mean we did her shower and everything! Ugh, anyway, we’ll see what happens there.
Post # 11
True, but at least it was for the shower and that was fun….it’s not like it’s the caterer =]. That would sting more I think!
Post # 12
I think it’s great that you all went on the trip together for some much needed relaxation and fun. My heart goes out to your friend, I can’t imagine how she must be feeling. I think you’re smart just to be there for her, whatever she needs.
Post # 13
Avoiding wedding talk for the most part is a good thing, but make sure you absolutely definitely don’t bash her ex – She was engaged to him too and had made that commitment to be with him. When people bash the ex, the person begins to wonder, “what was wrong with me that I choose someone so awful?” It’s really great that you are trying to hard to be a good friend to her. I’m sure she really appreciates it.