Post # 1
I havent posted in a while because things have been a bit on the busy side but i decided to do a quick update and share my frustration with my waiting situation. So for thoser of you that dont remember ( its been a while) ive been “waiting” since about October. Well first i was toild that “February would be my month”, Feb cam and went with nothing, Then he said itll be in march, guess whwat March is almost over and im still waiting. Then in march my Boyfriend or Best Friend said he was going to be using his tax return to buy my ring. welp, the tax return came and went and i got no ring. He got his Tax return back and a bunch of money that he was being reimbiursed from the military for his last move and He kept saying when he got this money hed have enough for a ring. well the tax return came in!
and he spent it. and not on a ring. He bought random things for his Apartment like a 200 dollar knife set and spent tons of money taking his out of town friends out to lunch and dinner everyday they were visiting. and he bought dishes and towels and other things but no ring. and non of that tax return money got saved or put away for a ring.
So you can imagine my frustration when He keeps telling me its happening soon and leading me to believe ive got a ring coming around the corner and then he clearly isnt saving his money or even using extra money for it. He recently paid off some old bills he had and set up to pay 300 a month for 6 months to pay off some medical bills he got in high school before he went into the Coast guard. Again i expressed my concern, and he said well i really want to get this debt paid off before we get married and he said ” dont worry, our time line is till the same” ( side note: the previous timeline waws basically that we were getting married next June cause ill get that summer off of medical school, and that i would have a full yhear to plan, which means by this june wed be engaged”. so while im glad he awnts to pay off his bills for us, it still makes me think.
so anyways back to this hwole tax return thing. as he is blowing his tax return on random things i just keep my mouth shut, but i honestly wanted to cry. So This weekend we walk into Best Buy and he says he is going to buy a new laptop. and i of course am shocked and ask where he got the money to do that? and he says ” well you know i got my tax return last week” I almost choked. This time i said “oh, well i thought you were going to be saving that for something else, but if you want a new laptop then thats cool i guess” He obviously knew what i was talking about and said ” well maybe ive already done something about a ring and if you keep asking you’ll ruin the surprise”
while to most girls this may be exciting to me im just even more confused. I know his money situation and i know he doesnt have some mass amounts of money stashed somewhere even though weve been serious about this since October he has yet to even put any money aside, i also know he has spent nearly all of his tax return. thus leads to my confusion about if the time line is the same or if he has “already done something about a ring” where its coming from. Im starting to worry that he is just saying these things to placate me. 🙁
Friday the 2nd is our 1 year anniversary. so naturally i had high hopes, however my present got delivered to his apartment yesterday and it is a very large box. so im doubting there is a ring coming on friday. and its taking everything in me not to breakdown and cry about the whole situation.
(okay im done rambleing/venting. sorry this turned out WAY longer than i thought it would)
Post # 3
I wouldn’t be too worried. It sounds like he has planned a surprise.
Post # 4
I think you have to make decisions. If this is killing you, ask how long you’re willing to wait and then make that clear to your SO. Have you looked at Mr. bee’s plan? It looks good to me.
Post # 5
You have to find a way to relax. Its only been a year! He wants to do something special for you and you are so fixated on that ring that you are making it hard for him. Watching every dollar he spends is not going to help. Be happy you are with a man you love, who has told you he wants to be engaged, and enjoy life!
Post # 6
It’s not good that he keeps lying to you about this, but maybe he’s just trying to throw you off and surprise you. Since he says you’re still on your original timeline, why don’t you completely stop talking about the wedding until June and give him a chance. I think it’s very possible he’s just waiting for you to stop dropping hints. It sounds like he doesn’t want you to know the month – so if he says February, March, etc, he’s no longer going to propose that month since it won’t be a surprise. So just let him do his thing.
Post # 7
Aww sweetie Im so so sorry.. I really hope that he comes through!
Post # 8
I have a gf who was in a very very same situation you are in now. She was on him about the ring constantly and honestly, drove her bf and her friends bonkers with her harping on the ring (not that I’m saying you are at all). I think your bf might be trying to surprise you. By the time my friends Boyfriend or Best Friend got the ring, it wasn’t even a surprise anymore. It became more of a job assignment for him. I would say to give your Boyfriend or Best Friend some time, but ultimately, it is your decision on if you mind waiting any longer. But as Janna19 said.. be happy with the man you love, the man who wants to marry you.
Post # 9
Thanks for the advice ladies. To be honest i dont ever bring up the ring for the most part we had one serious talk about it back in january about our “timeline” and then i dont say anything he always brings it up so i wouldnt say that im harping on him. the only time i have actually brought it up first is recently when i said i thought he was saving for something else. We are in a little bit of a weird situation because he is in the military adn im about to start medical school so our timeline is very important in terms of actually being able to work things through when I can have time off and he can have time off. not to mention we dont live in the same city, and ill be moving even farther away when i leave for school in July. so its a bit more complicated than my ranting post lets on, i promise im not a psycho annoying girlfriend. my only pet peeve is that i dont awnt to have my hopes up and keep thinking this is going to happen before i go to school if its not. I hate when people say they are going to do something and then dont do it so it hink all my frustration is really stemming from the fact that he keeps talking about it and isnt doing it. i mean really if your going to do it do it already ands top talking about it, if your not doing it anytime soon, then stop freaking talking about it. ha ha
Post # 10
oh and ps…. i would wait till im 100 if i have to because i love him and i know hes the one so there isnt really an issue of “how long do i want to wait” its just an issue of “you are really annoying me with this teasing”
Post # 11
I got engaged during my second year of medical school, and married during my fourth, right before I started the Match process. And my husband and I have lived 400 miles apart for the last four years, and I planned the wedding long distance. I completely sympathize with how frustrating and challenging it is to plan anything during medical school, when none of your time is your own. It is certainly easiest to get married the summer right after your first year, but I have 4 classmates who got married after second year, a week after they took Step 1 of the Boards! (And they were women, so they had a heavy planning burden.) My point is simply to give you some encouragement and say that you can get married in medical school whenever you choose. Promise. And I remember waiting being hard, even as someone who didn’t want a ring, and then I badgered him to see it so much the proposal was a bit of a let-down. Facing a move and starting medical school is a lot to worry about. I would focus on yourself and getting ready for school, feeling fulfilled in your career and your life. You’re already ahead of so many of your classmates because you have a loving, committed relationship and while you will find this takes a lot of work to support, you will also be more successful because you have someone behind you.
Just my two cents…it can be done in medical school, whenever. The “timeline” can be flexible.