- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
I feel a tiny bit of background is necessary. Fiance and I are getting married in my home town, at a venue about 1.5 miles from where my parents’ house (and the house I grew up in). My parents were extremely generous and gave us most of the money we needed for the wedding as a gift (meaning they would have been fine if we eloped and put the money in savings). FI’s parents also gave us some money… about a quarter of the amount my parents gave. I am not complaining AT ALL about anyone giving us any amount of money because we are soooooooo lucky to have people who love us and can afford to help us with the wedding expenses. Given the amount of money we have for the wedding, it became apparent that we won’t be able to pay for the rehearsal dinner. My parents extremely graciously offered to host a BBQ/cookout rehearsal dinner at their house, which we are happy about because we’re generally low-key people and we don’t want my parents (or anyone, really) to spend any more money on us.
My mother has been reading up on wedding traditions, etc. and realized that traditionally, it’s the groom’s parents that host the rehearsal dinner. Because FI’s parents have really not been involved in anything, my mother said she wanted to check with his parents to make sure that they didn’t want to host the rehearsal dinner because she didn’t want to step on any toes. Fiance said it would be easiest for him to talk to his parents, so that was the plan.
Well Fiance called his parents’ house and only his mom was there. Something got lost in translation somewhere between FI’s call to his mom and his mom’s note to his dad because suddenly he had a SUPER angry, sarcastic email from his dad regarding how it’s ridiculous that they should have to host the rehearsal dinner because they know “jack $%#*” and they live far away (FI’s parents are in Michigan, mine are in Massachusetts). No one ever meant that they HAVE to host the rehearsal dinner, and it’s fine if they don’t want to. It’s also fine if they do want to. Fiance is too angry about his dad’s angry, sarcastic email to even reply to the email, so we’re at an impasse.
My question is, what, if anything, should/could I do to remedy this? Should I just leave it alone and let Fiance handle it? I guess I feel protective of both my parents (who only had good intentions) and Fiance (who may have miscommunicated, but doesn’t deserve to be treated poorly). Any advice would be appreciated!!!