(Closed) My Future-FIL is inviting people to our wedding!

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I wouldn’t worry until you have to send out invitations.  My own Mom did the same but until ppl get an invitation, your not invited.  Since Fiance and I are paying for the wedding ourselves, we have final decision.

It will work itself out.


Good Luck!!!

Post # 4
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

I think it’s pretty common for a proud parent to want to invite their friends.

In this case (IMO) your Fiance probably doesn’t want to create waves due to the insecurities placed in his heart as a child. I would talk to your Fiance about it and just kindly open it that he doesn’t need to fear about his dad leaving just b/c he doesn’t get his way or anything of that sort… <– this may not be the case but I know that alot of times adults act certain ways like this when having grown up in unstable families

It’s your Fiance place to set his parents & family and not yours. It’s your place to talk it through with you Fiance and get on the same page about it… and then support him as he should support you in letting all families know =)

Post # 5
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Quick comment: Keep in mind that he may have invited them but given that it’s a destination wedding and they don’t know you they’re much more unlikely to come.

Post # 6
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Honestly, he may just be completely clueless.  One of my friends had this with her MIL–she had never planned an event and didn’t understand why you just couldn’t verbally invite random people.

Let’s give Future Father-In-Law the benefit of the doubt and he is just a dumb guy.  While I definitely think it’s up to Fiance to discuss it with him, you may have to step in.  I wouldn’t be dramatic or emotional about it.  Just explain how weddings work, how you want yours to be and why you won’t be inviting any of these people (maybe the person Fiance does know?).

I would take care of this soon, because Lord only knows how many people he’ll invite over the next year:)

Post # 7
2691 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Gently explain to your Future Father-In-Law that unless he is willing to pay for the extra guests, it is just not in the budget for you to be adding guests to your list.

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