(Closed) My Future FIL lost his job :(

posted 11 years ago in Money
Post # 3
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think you’ll have to scale back. While your parents can’t pay for everything, think about what you’d do if you got NO money from anybody. There’s always a middle ground somewhere. Maybe you or your Fiance can pick up another job or something on the side to help pay for it. Or give yourself an extra 3months after hte wedding to save or something. You may not want to give up on the goal of a house for the wedding, but you can’t have both and stay with the same budget.

Post # 4
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I agree with the PP that you kinda have to scale back now that the circumstance is totally different.  I know that it’s frustrating and disappointing that this is happening in the middle of your wedding planning.  It seems like it’s better if you knew right from the start that his family wouldn’t be able to help in the wedding financially, than having this in the middle of the planning process.  But that’s nobody’s fault and they were actually very generous to offer to help pay for the wedding in the first place. 

If you really want to make it work without getting in debt and still have the house and wedding, you can do it.  My fiance and I did it.  It’s not easy, especially that our parents are not helping us.  But if you really want to make it work, it will.  My fiance had to work more hours and I worked overtime here and there.  We saved, we had to cancel some weekend trips (which was our thing!), I gave up buying purses (it’s an addiction, I tell you)… There are little things you can do to save so as not to compromise your goals.

Good luck to you!  *hugs*

Post # 5
2560 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I agree with esj4y8 and msqthoney – You will need to scale back your wedding plans, if you aren’t willing to dip into your house savings, because obviously it would be insensitive to ask your FIL’s for money for the wedding when your Future Father-In-Law has been (unfortunately) laid off. 

At this point, you have only a few options: Scale back the wedding, dip into your house fund, or get extra part time jobs to get wedding money.

Post # 6
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

If it were me, I’d cut back in areas that you can, like trips, unnecessary purchases, etc. & that stuff adds up! I mean, you still want to have fun & enjoy the engagement as you’ll never be in this time of life again. Can you cut back with your wedding planning? If you’ve already paid deposits, can you go with a lesser grade package? Its awesome that you’re saving for a house, but maybe you can take a little of that out to help with your wedding. I know it must be stressful & hard & disappointing… but if your families can’t give you anything more, that may be the best choice. You could try to take extra shifts at work or maybe a side job, like what was suggested before. You can still get a house in your future, it may take a few extra months & who knows, maybe you’ll get a better deal. But good luck!!

Post # 7
450 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Oh gosh, that’s too bad. I do have a suggestion, but you’re not gonna like it. Depending on how far along you are in the wedding planning process you can either A.) Put the wedding off until the husband-to-be gets a new job or B.) Cut down on your wedding expenses.

Neither decision is an easy one to make. If I were in your position, I would have had a smaller wedding. Actually, this is what my now DH and I began to do… plan a small wedding for about 50 people, when we magically came into some money and the wedding then grew.

Honestly, you can probably cut back on more than you think. I speak from experience. You don’t need a beautiful venue AND professional flowers. If you have a venue that is already lovely, you may be okay having a close friend do your flowers. If you have a venue that needs a bit of doctoring… remember that flowers are not your only centerpiece option. What about candles? Lots and lots of candles and ribbon! Second of all..what about renting a vehicle instead of getting a limo? Get a relative or friend to drive. 

Anyway, I realize these are only two things and you may have already signed contracts with vendors, but know that I feel for you. There are ways to cut back! You can do it! 🙂 Though, I will add, easier said than done…

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