(Closed) My future in-laws are driving me NUTS!!!!!!!

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 4
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think perhaps you’re stressing yourself out.  My parents used to do the same thing, and I’m an only child. It’s not that they want to pressure you guys to have kids. They probably don’t even realize they’re doing it.  It’s that they are so excited at the prospect of having grandchildren.  Also, be happy they want YOU to have their sons children.  It could be worse.

Post # 5
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think that’s par for the course, especially if your Fiance doesn’t have siblings with kids to “divert” the attention. My FI’s parents bring it up and get dramatic about how since we don’t see them enough that we probably won’t let them near the kids or impose all these “crazy” restrictions like about handwashing and organic foods. There are currently no grandkids so I can see why they have nothing better to do than obssess about this issue. Since it’s his family, I would just say that you should let your Fiance handle it and tell them to knock it off or bring it down a notch. Otherwise, if you do it, it’ll make you look bad. In private, my Fiance and I have already discussed the kid issues and defined boundaries and what we expect from each side of the family and each other so we always present a united front.

Post # 7
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@sweetchiquita12:  What you could say is, ‘Well, we have to get married first….’ and smile. Or, “How about we discuss the wedding, then the kids?” and chuckle. Or, “I’m pregnant! —psyche!” And then laugh. You can drop hints to get people to be quiet. I’d joke, “Oh, you just want me for my ovaries!” and laugh. Or say, “Just got a hysterectomy this morning, sorry!” then laugh.

Seriously, a few lighthearted jokes will get your message across. Mine might be crass, but you can figure it out. I’d think if you live with them, it gives you more leeway to just say you’d rather focus on the wedding before you get into talking about future kids. Or, you can tell them what you an your Fiance have decided. Like say you guys dn’t want kids for two years. I’d tell the inlaws point blank, “Well, kids are about 3 years away right now.”

Because if you don’t, after you’re wedding, it’s gonna get worse.

Post # 8
Member
587 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My boyfriend’s mom is always on our case about getting planning the wedding and my Dad gets so worked up about people waiting until they’re “secure” to have babies and goes off on rants about how the upper middle class has less and less children per household because everyone is so busy being “responsible”….we’re not even engaged yet!!

I think this stuff is normal, don’t worry about it so much!

Post # 9
Member
312 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I have threatened to tell my Mother-In-Law “we are trying as hard as we can” I would imagine that would shut her up for awhile. 

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