Post # 1
My future in-laws are driving me crazy lately and to top it off we live with them so there is no escaping the annoyance. They are constantly talking about “when you two have kids” and “the kids this and that” I’m always like what kids? We arent even married yet and this is all they talk about!!! It’s really strating to piss me off! I told my fiance that this is really starting to anger me and he tells me to just ignore it. I try but they are constantly adding in little things about kids and having a family in every conversation we have. I have honestly gotten to the point where I dont even want to talk to them each day..I say hi and bye or goodnight and thats about it. My parents can drive me crazxy sometimes too but they would never ever say things about when are you having kids. It’s frankly no one elses’s business but me and my fiance’s. It angers me cause we arent even married yet! Whats going ot happen once we get married? What if we dont end up having kids? Fiance is an only child so we really are there only hope. Anyone else have this issue? Hoe have you dealt with this? Ughh I’m just so annoyed!!!!
Post # 4
I think perhaps you’re stressing yourself out. My parents used to do the same thing, and I’m an only child. It’s not that they want to pressure you guys to have kids. They probably don’t even realize they’re doing it. It’s that they are so excited at the prospect of having grandchildren. Also, be happy they want YOU to have their sons children. It could be worse.
Post # 5
I think that’s par for the course, especially if your Fiance doesn’t have siblings with kids to “divert” the attention. My FI’s parents bring it up and get dramatic about how since we don’t see them enough that we probably won’t let them near the kids or impose all these “crazy” restrictions like about handwashing and organic foods. There are currently no grandkids so I can see why they have nothing better to do than obssess about this issue. Since it’s his family, I would just say that you should let your Fiance handle it and tell them to knock it off or bring it down a notch. Otherwise, if you do it, it’ll make you look bad. In private, my Fiance and I have already discussed the kid issues and defined boundaries and what we expect from each side of the family and each other so we always present a united front.
Post # 6
@Wreckerbabe I agree there are much worse things than this but it is just so annoying to hear all the time!
@lilbluebird Thanks so much for the advice! I will try my best to not say anything to them and let fiance handle this problem
Post # 7
@sweetchiquita12: What you could say is, ‘Well, we have to get married first….’ and smile. Or, “How about we discuss the wedding, then the kids?” and chuckle. Or, “I’m pregnant! —psyche!” And then laugh. You can drop hints to get people to be quiet. I’d joke, “Oh, you just want me for my ovaries!” and laugh. Or say, “Just got a hysterectomy this morning, sorry!” then laugh.
Seriously, a few lighthearted jokes will get your message across. Mine might be crass, but you can figure it out. I’d think if you live with them, it gives you more leeway to just say you’d rather focus on the wedding before you get into talking about future kids. Or, you can tell them what you an your Fiance have decided. Like say you guys dn’t want kids for two years. I’d tell the inlaws point blank, “Well, kids are about 3 years away right now.”
Because if you don’t, after you’re wedding, it’s gonna get worse.
Post # 8
My boyfriend’s mom is always on our case about getting planning the wedding and my Dad gets so worked up about people waiting until they’re “secure” to have babies and goes off on rants about how the upper middle class has less and less children per household because everyone is so busy being “responsible”….we’re not even engaged yet!!
I think this stuff is normal, don’t worry about it so much!
Post # 9
I have threatened to tell my Mother-In-Law “we are trying as hard as we can” I would imagine that would shut her up for awhile.