- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2015
First of all, I know this is long, but I REALLY need help. Thank you so much to whoever is reading!
I never knew it could get this bad. I really don’t understand what happened, so hoping to get some help and opinions from you ladies. This is my first post on this site. So, my mom and his mom were best friends in high school. They remained lifelong friends. His mom suggested that he and I see a movie together. She just knew we would love each other. She was right! We fell in love VERY quickly. We knew we were each other’s “the one”. He proposed to me January 9 and our wedding is July 18. I moved in with him January 18, along with my 18 month old daughter. He has accepted, loved, and financially supported her as his own. His parents also treated her as their own granddaughter. His mom and I were the BEST of friends at first! We would even talk on the phone for 7 hours at night, which I have done with very few people in life. Our personalities just clicked. I felt so fortunate that his whole family was so supportive of us.
My fiance is 22 and lived with his parents all of that time. His mom even homeschooled him, did his laundry, everything. So I know they were tight knit. When he moved in with me, he was overwhelmed with learning about how to support a family (including my daughter) and did not contact his family as much as they would have liked. I always encouraged him to call but he works nights and had a hard time juggling work, stressing over bills and the new situation, and sleeping. His mom began mentioning to me “he has never acted like he doesn’t want us around until he got close to you.” I would take offense to this comment and she would say “You’re taking it the wrong way. Maybe I shouldn’t talk to you about these things.” So I would feel bad and say it’s fine. This escalated where their nitpicking made him want to call less (more stress on him) and his mom blaming me more. Also the fact that I was not doing his laundry or cooking for him the way SHE wanted me to. She also got pissed that I took him to the doctor instead of her one night.
The boiling point was when he mentioned to me one morning “When I was a kid I beat up my brother so bad that he passed out. That’s why my mom dislikes me and favorites him.” I was disturbed by his statement and told her so that she might say something to make him feel like she does love him equally. I was only trying to help the relationship and didn’t want him thinking this. Her surprising response was “He never beat up his brother. He made that up.” I was shocked and didn’t know what to think. I told her other things he’s told me about things that happened in the childhood such as her beating him and making him sleep on the streets on a regular basis. She said that they were all lies he made up to me. She then basically sent me a string of texts putting him down and making him seem like a horrible liar. I didn’t want to talk about it. I stood by him. (I believed him over her anyway because I’ve seen how she talks to him when she thinks it’s private and it’s awful. A lot of manipulating/emotional blackmail/mental abuse)
Well, she suddenly began acting like she hated me, but would still talk to me. One night I said to her “I’m going to be honest. You seem like you’re unhappy with me in general and that you would prefer someone else with your son.” She completely avoided the question and made it clear that she wasn’t interested in a relationship with me. My fiance was *very* upset with her and made it clear. She told me “I guess you got what you wanted, to take our son from us.” I could have responded ugly but instead told her “One day you can look back on this day and see that I tried to have a relationship with you.” It all blew up then. She told my fiance when he went over the next day that I was evil, I was trying to destroy their family, he was choosing the wrong side, betraying his family, etc. He stood up for me and his 19 yr old brother said I was a AIDS infested prostitute and whore. He got in a fight with his brother so his dad made him leave and he had to walk all the way home.
After that it died down but basically she told everyone in the family several lies about me such as I talked bad about her and slandered her name to everyone, threatened to call the cops on my fiance one night during a fight, hated the whole family, I’m sure anything she could think of. I haven’t even met her parents and they already hate me, my fiance’s dad and brother hate me as well becuase of things she’s told them. She sold all the toys at her house that my daughter would play with. That hurt me worse than anything. They would also do things like move to a different parking spot so they wouldn’t have to sit by me and when we got into a wreck and I was hurt they refused to come near me and check on me despite my fiance’s begging. My mom tried to reach out to her since they are friends but it ended with strings of texts to my fiance with her telling him how evil I am and how I’m turning everyone against her. My mom gave up.
A few weeks passed, my fiance has stuck by my side through this whole thing. His brother reached out to him and called him, and I highly encouraged him to try to repair the relationship. The brother was asking about me and being polite towards me, etc. Tonight it got really bad. A peice of mail of mine accidentally went to her house and she went ballistic on my fiance telling him none of my mail is to go to that house because none of them want anything to do with me. He tried to call his dad to reason, but his mom intercepted and said “Go with your little girlfirend and leave us the f*** alone!!” then texted him about how his dad will not chose me over her (HOW RIDICULOUS IS THAT??). As of now his mom deleted me from Facebook, he blocked both of his parents and says he will not be speaking to them until they can treat us right.
This is SO opposite of how I imagined my family in law. This is horrendous. This woman hates me more than my worst enemies in the past have hated me, and she has made the entire family hate me as well. What can i possibly do??