- 4 years ago
Hello. I’ve been dating a really great woman for the past two years. We finally decided to get engaged. Everything was great until my fiance’s mother told her she would never bless our engagement or marriage. Her mother’s reasoning is that she is afraid for her daughter. Because I have depression (I take medication, sometimes feel anxiety, and have expressed before that I felt like kiling myself because of a very bad situation), my fiance’s mother does not approve.
I have graduated from college, finished a rigorous Phd program, was selected from a national honor, am well liked in my community, and own my own house and car and have a great job. Although I have battled mild depression for the past 30 years, I have done all this without letting depression win.
My fiance’s mother tells everyone she knows that I am possessed by the Devil. Because I am Catholic and because I was once molested, she tells everyone that I am more likely to sexually abuse children (I have worked with children all of my life and have built life lasting relationships with them as adults. She tells all of her friend that I am a “mental case” and am manipulating her daughter.
When she found out that my fiance decided to marry me, the mother took all of her things away that she had given her: like her car and other pieces of furniture. Since then, she has not spoken to my fiance for months.
I understand that sometimes people don’t approve, but this woman has done the cruelest and most hateful thing in comparison to anyone I have known: she’s taken my vulnerabilities, exposed and exploited them, and lied about them to further sensationalize who I am. As a Catholic, I forgive her, yet it is very hard to keep happy when I know someone in this world hates me so much.
She has told all of her friends and even reached out to all of my fiance’s friends with these lies. Her son and his wife believe her. It hurts that they have judged me. I have been nice and respecftul to this family. I even started a scholarship in memory for their daughter who passed away several years ago — something they said they had wished to do.
I don’t have an evil heart. Yes, I do have depression, but it has not affected me so much that I could not function. I have a very succesful career, have good friends, and am very well liked. This woman says I have reached my limit and may not have more potential. She says she will find where our wedding is and make a scene. She refuses to come to an engagement party and wants nothing to do with us.
The reality of this woman’s cruelty is starting to sink in . At first, I was shocked, but now I am bothered and upset. I have never been an angry person or one who is hateful, but this woman’s hate is testing my faith and ability to stay strong. I care for my fiance, but when this blows over, I don’t know how I could be expected to have a normal relationship with someone who has been so mean.