(Closed) My Future SIL Is Just Plain Spoiled …

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 3
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Do not go to the bach party – it doesn’t sound like she would want you there anyway. What a brat, I am sorry you have to deal with this!!

Post # 4
792 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I wouldn’t go and I wouldn’t offer to help with anything related to her wedding either. She sounds really immature and selfish… but what can you do? I would just try and ignore her and focus on how amazing and beautiful your wedding will be!

Post # 5
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I wouldn’t go if I were you! She clearly doesn’t want you to be involved in the wedding anyway so why should you celebrate anything with her unless you are obligated – Don’t go!

Post # 6
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Do not go to the bachelorette party. She sounds horrible.

Post # 7
7053 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Don’t go.  And send the same note back.  No.  No response.

Leave her with her drama and let her dig her own hole with everybody seeing her negativity.  It will come back to haunt her.

Did she watch seinfeld or something?  I mean is she celebrating like he did with the “Year of George” or something?  Geez I was never made aware you can declare an entire YEAR just to the sheer glory of yourself ya know?Yell

Post # 9
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I say…go.  Go to the Bach party.  Right now, it may feel ridiculous and you want to protest as much as you can; but go! 

There’re two reasons to go:

1. Go and tell all her friends that you are getting married, too!  (steal the thunder a bit) and that “you don’t know why but it’s unfortunate that your SIL cannot make it (to yours).”  (my guess is that her friends already know she’s a little princess – give them all the confirmation you need to give them and let them know that you are a much better person – next thing you know, all her friends will be saying to your SIL how much they love her new SIL to be!) … do you get my drift?

2. It makes you a better person.  Right now you don’t want to; but in 5 years, or 10 years, or way later when your children may be looking at the pictures (yikes!), you’ll come out in the better light.  And, you’ll feel better that you took the high road.

I say GO!

Post # 10
3363 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Although she is being a brat, I can understand where she is coming from.  Within months of our engagement, my dad and sister both got engaged!  I was (privately, only with Fiance and my mom) freaking out and saying “why is this suddenly a TREND?”  I would be horrified if their wedding date was anywhere close to mine, and thankfully it isn’t.

I am not a spoiled brat, and would never act the way your Future Sister-In-Law is…but I can imagine that she is genuinely hurt.

I am also not saying that you (or my dad, or my sister) did anything wrong.  Marriage is a wonderful event!  The engagement of both couples is still very exciting to me…It is more the fact that the timing stinks!  More so when you were the first…maybe it is like being a first child when the 2nd is born.  The shared attention is a downer.

I would ignore her behavior, and just know where it is coming from.  It probably isn’t personal.

Post # 11
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Wow. Terribly immature little brat! And at 26, how sad.

Just say no and keep everything cool and collected. You’re more mature than her and it’ll drive her bonkers if you act like your’e “too good” to attend her stuff anyways. She’ll learn the hard way to think before you speak/act

Post # 12
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I don’t think you should go to her bachelorette! If you go, she will probably ignore you or make you feel even worse and it would just be a complete waste of time. I think at a certain point (especially after making the effort), you can totally be excused from having to be the bigger person all the time. I think people like your SIL crave attention in any form so the best way to get to her is to just ignore her 🙂

Good luck!

P.S. I’m glad your Fiance agrees with you on her behavior!

Post # 14
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I agree with heathaah that it probably is not personal, but that is no excuse for anyone to act that way. People get engaged and married every day. I totally understand wanting the attention (who doesn’t love some attention! haha!) but really, it is your day, not month and especially not YEAR! She clearly does not understand this and it is easier for her to put you down in front of her family cause they are her family. Just curious, where is your Fiance during this? I don’t think it would be ok, or even good, for you to call her out on her behavior, but her brother/your Fiance could and should! (and good for him for seeing her actions the way they are and not just glossing it over as the way his sister is)

Now, regarding the bachelorette party…it is probably a good thing she is not coming to yours. She would most likely say something that would tick you off and make for a crappy evening. Since you have no real part in her wedding, you are not obligated to go. Could you make plans with another couple, your family or girlfriends and just tell her that you had these plans for a long time and you are sorry you can’t make her party. That way, you are not having to go to something you don’t want to go to and you are also continuing to be the bigger person by not just saying “no” but actually having a reason to not go.

Good luck and I hope the situation improves soon!

Post # 15
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

wow, she is a…well I won’t say that word here.  I would not go, you have made more than your share of attempts to be the bigger person.  Good luck, ignore her, and just enjoy your wedding planning…because at the end its only you and your soon to be hubby that matter. Best wishes. 🙂

Post # 16
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would go to the bach party if I could. Since when did an eye for an eye make sense?

She just sounds immature. Someone should really tell her that she gets a DAY not a YEAR.  On the bach party front — maybe she can’t afford to go, or has other obligations? 

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