(Closed) My future Sis-in-law thinks she’s in the wedding… and she’s not!

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2404 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

oo yikes.. this is a tough situation. can u have your fiance talk to her and ask why she thinks shes automatically in the wedding? (especially if you are not close)  

Trust me, i know Future Sister-In-Law and being a bridesmaid is a touchy subject! i just went through this myself and have decided to have her in the wedding as an “olive branch” of sorts, and i know it will be better for us down the road:) But do what YOU want, not what others expect!

Post # 4
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

You don’t.  Have Fiance handle it (delicately).  i’m sorry – we went through this too and it is hard…

Post # 6
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think it would be fun to have her in the wedding! I have my FI’s sister in mine and it brought us closer together, I mean, we are going to be in the same family soon!

Post # 7
1455 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

UGH my Future Sister-In-Law did this to me and I included her. HOWEVER I had not wanted to include her because she is childish, young for her age, and full of drama. Low and behold, she got mad at Fiance and me for something stupid, and wouldn’t talk to me for MONTHS, and said to Future Mother-In-Law how she “didn’t want to be in our stupid wedding” so I said FINE and told her she didn’t have to be. We’ve since made up, and she’s making strides to becoming a better person, but I feel SO Much better that she’s out. Now, we have her doing a reading. Maybe you can ask her to do a reading, like “It was so hard to choose bridesmaids, but we still want you involved, and would like you do to a reading.” ?

Post # 8
2779 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Get your FH to talk to her. Especially if you aren’t close. Future Sister-In-Law and I aren’t really close either so I try to get FH to speak to her about anything wedding related because he knows how to deal with her better than I do – and they aren’t hugely close either. 

I agree with the pp about having her do a reading or being involved in the wedding in some other way directly. 

Post # 9
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

Yikes…this is so difficult! I like kjpugs idea in trying to include her elsewhere…like a reading. It’s absolutely going to be tough trying to tell her, but your Fiance should also be there to back you up on that one. I feel like if both of you stand united on this one, she’ll take it a little easier.

Post # 10
14185 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Allow Fiance to mention it to his mom somewhere or sister….let it filter that you’re having her do somethign else or that you have your six bms picked out already. If anything, she should stand on HIS side. She’s his sister after all. and if she’s close enough, he’ll want her there. Otherwise he’ll understand/respect your wishes. My SIL stood on DH’s side. Who says groomsmen have to be dudes?

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