Post # 1
My future sister in law and her mom made a comment about my bridesmaids, and apparently the sister in law thinks she is going to be a bridesmaid. I wasn’t planning on her being one. We aren’t close at all. My fiance and her aren’t even close. I already have six bridesmaids, and that was hard to narrow it down to! How do I handle this? I have a feeling the family will be mad at me…
Post # 3
oo yikes.. this is a tough situation. can u have your fiance talk to her and ask why she thinks shes automatically in the wedding? (especially if you are not close)
Trust me, i know Future Sister-In-Law and being a bridesmaid is a touchy subject! i just went through this myself and have decided to have her in the wedding as an “olive branch” of sorts, and i know it will be better for us down the road:) But do what YOU want, not what others expect!
Post # 4
You don’t. Have Fiance handle it (delicately). i’m sorry – we went through this too and it is hard…
Post # 5
Okay I already feel better about it. I’m just afraid to start our marriage off and have them mad at me. I guess it is MY day though, and not theirs..
Post # 6
I think it would be fun to have her in the wedding! I have my FI’s sister in mine and it brought us closer together, I mean, we are going to be in the same family soon!
Post # 7
UGH my Future Sister-In-Law did this to me and I included her. HOWEVER I had not wanted to include her because she is childish, young for her age, and full of drama. Low and behold, she got mad at Fiance and me for something stupid, and wouldn’t talk to me for MONTHS, and said to Future Mother-In-Law how she “didn’t want to be in our stupid wedding” so I said FINE and told her she didn’t have to be. We’ve since made up, and she’s making strides to becoming a better person, but I feel SO Much better that she’s out. Now, we have her doing a reading. Maybe you can ask her to do a reading, like “It was so hard to choose bridesmaids, but we still want you involved, and would like you do to a reading.” ?
Post # 8
Get your FH to talk to her. Especially if you aren’t close. Future Sister-In-Law and I aren’t really close either so I try to get FH to speak to her about anything wedding related because he knows how to deal with her better than I do – and they aren’t hugely close either.
I agree with the pp about having her do a reading or being involved in the wedding in some other way directly.
Post # 9
Yikes…this is so difficult! I like kjpugs idea in trying to include her elsewhere…like a reading. It’s absolutely going to be tough trying to tell her, but your Fiance should also be there to back you up on that one. I feel like if both of you stand united on this one, she’ll take it a little easier.
Post # 10
Allow Fiance to mention it to his mom somewhere or sister….let it filter that you’re having her do somethign else or that you have your six bms picked out already. If anything, she should stand on HIS side. She’s his sister after all. and if she’s close enough, he’ll want her there. Otherwise he’ll understand/respect your wishes. My SIL stood on DH’s side. Who says groomsmen have to be dudes?