(Closed) My future sister law wants me to wear an ugly dress

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
9119 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Wear what you want.

Post # 4
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Why don’t you tell her that if it is important to her that you somewhat coordinate with the bridal party (although that’s a touch weird) then you’ll be happy to buy a dress that is color coordinated, but you get to choose it and it can just be a regular wedding outfit – non bridesmaid-y. 

^ That’s ^ a solution that is a sort-of compromise. In reality, she gets no say over what anyone wears to her wedding besides herself and her bridal party and you should really just tell her that. I don’t really understand why she’d want to coordinate you with the bridal party if you are just a regular guest. Even as a reader, while it may photograph nicely if you somewhat coordinate with the decorations and bridal party, it’s most certainly not required! 

Post # 5
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

First off, wear what you want. You are prefectly correct that if she wants to have a say in your clothing she should have made you a member of their party. Secondly, I can’t believe she asked you not to bring a date (the sister of the groom- her future sister in law)?! That’s two checks on the rude-ness meter right there! If I had to ask people not to bring +1’s I’d start with my friends not my soon to be family! 

Post # 6
963 posts
Busy bee

I think it’s time your brother had a chat with her.  

Post # 7
3697 posts
Sugar bee

You are absolutely in the right on this. If you’re not a bridesmaid, you get to choose your own dress.

Post # 8
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@hiheel:  I agree. She’s being silly – bet she’s one of those brides who thinks it will ruin everything if every family member who may show up in a picture together do not all have coordinating outfits.

Post # 9
5544 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

She can let you know the colors should you CHOOSE to coordinate but the bride gets ti dictate the bridal party, she didn’t make you part of it so she has no say. Also why the heck does she have any say in who your brother has on his side? It’s his wedding too… she sounds like a gem.

Post # 10
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

She’s not a member of the Kardashian family, is she? If not, you don’t all need to match. 😉  You know what her wedding colors are, so IF you feel like you want to compromise, tell her to trust you to find something that will complement those colors, but that what you wear is ultimately your decision. Besides, doesn’t she want her bridesmaids to stand out a little from the other guests?

It sounds like she’s putting an awful lot of pressure on herself to make everything “perfect.” I hope your brother steps in and she can find a way to relax, otherwise who knows how many people she’ll alienate by being so controlling.

Post # 11
924 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Bridezilla at its finest!

Wear what you want and go to your brother and tell him to make room for your date.

Post # 12
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I agree, wear what you want. If you want to be nice (considering what she has put you through), than pick a color that will not clash with her theme colors.

Post # 13
2750 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think she already hit the lowest point when she vetoed having you stand by your brother at HIS wedding. Seriously, I’d go batshit crazy on someone if I knew my brother wanted me up there and was told he could not. The dress thing is just cherry on the crap sundae. I vote wear whatever you want.

Post # 14
846 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

like you said- if she wants a say in what you will wear to the wedding, she should have made you part of the wedding party. i would be beyond pissed if she said you can’t bring a date too.. i think she needs to be reminded that this is not her wedding, it’s your brothers too.

Post # 15
135 posts
Blushing bee

@AndiA:  Let me make sure I understand this, she didn’t ask you to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man but feels she has the right to pick your dress? Is she paying for this dress?  Something seems very wrong here and I believe it is the bride.   Don’t fall for the tears she just wants to get her way.

Post # 16
27 posts
  • Wedding: September 2013


Tell her you’re going to ask for advice on a wedding etiquette site and you’re happy to go by standard protocol.


Let us know how it turns out.

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